Kashmir
by 1Pagan3
Summary: AU to Croatoan. Years ago the Winchester family was torn apart. Now a hunt has gone wrong sending a son to find a cure only to find long buried truths, while another continues to face his losses and fights to keep his life his own.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is an AU tag to Croatoan, so I guess you can say I'm taking liberties in certain areas.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of Kripke's wonderful creations. However if he ever gets tired of having them on his shelf, I'm more than willing to take them off his hands... otherwise I'm just playing in his sandbox.

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The sound of the classic muscle car's rumbling was normally a comforting sensation for Dean, but not today, not right now. All he could concentrate on was getting as far away from River Grove, Oregon as quickly as he could; the damn hunt could go straight to Hell as far as he was concerned. Taking a quick glance to his right he was thankful his passenger was still passed out, but worried about what would happen when that was no longer the case. He didn't want to think about what happened, didn't want to admit how they had walked right into the biggest trap that either one of them had ever seen, and now there was a damn good chance that the one person he could count on was going to die and there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

'No… not happening!' he thought angrily to himself. 'There's no freakin' way that Dad's going out like this, he deserves better.'

The road continued to stretch out before him and he could only hope that he made it to their destination before his father woke up, there was no way to know which version of John Winchester he'd be facing then. It wasn't even supposed to be a real hunt, it was more of a joke really; people losing it and killing each other. It happened everyday, and even his dad thought it was a stretch to think that something supernatural was going on. Yeah, until they saw the effects first hand and realized that the whole damn town was infested with some sort of demonic influence that neither of them had ever heard of before. Once they understood what was really going on, both of them knew they couldn't leave until they got to the bottom of it, and wouldn't you know it… that's exactly what the demonic bastards had planned all along. The virus, for lack of a better term, was spread by blood contact and drove the infected into a psychotic frenzy.

Sighing, Dean rubbed his face to help ease the tension there and once again found himself making the toughest decision in his life.

"_Damn it Dean, give me my gun and leave!" John shouted as he held out his hand. "I'm not going to turn into one of those things."_

"_For the last time Dad… no." Dean said while looking at his father with steel determination. "You're all I have left, and there's no way I'm letting you do this. There has to be a way…"_

"_There's not dammit! Now give me the damn gun!"_

_Shaking his head, Dean walked around to the side of the bed, the same bed that his father was sitting on when the doctor had informed them that this brave hunter was infected and it was only a matter of time before he too lost his mind, body and soul to this epidemic. _

"_Sorry Dad." Dean said quietly as he quickly pulled out a syringe and injected the older man with its contents. Seeing the utter betrayal in the eldest Winchester's eyes, Dean could only brace his father's body as it suddenly went slack._

They had no real family, not anymore, so Dean had no idea where to go now. Most hunters that his dad had introduced him to lately were more bloodthirsty than anyone else he'd ever seen and if they got wind of what happened, then they wouldn't have any problems justifying a bullet in the brain. It didn't used to be this way. At one time they had a family, an unconventional one, but one none the less. That was before the big blowout though, when it seemed as if an invisible line had been drawn and those that they thought they knew had crossed it. Now it had been eight years and before now he'd never once looked back, then again he'd never had to face this by himself either.

Sighing, he could remember the times that he had been close to calling their former friends, but each and every time he put the phone down knowing that it would have been an unforgivable offense in his father's eyes and there was no way he was going to follow in his brother's footsteps; one traitor in the family was enough.

"Do you really think you're going to be able to hold me for long boy?" John sneered as he struggled against the handcuffs.

Dean looked at his passenger and instantly knew which version he was dealing with. Drawing in a steadying breath Dean nodded, "Yeah actually I do, so how about you leave him alone and go back to Hell where you belong?"

John laughed until tears leaked out from his eyes. "You really think I'm possessed don't you? You really are pathetic, you know that? To think of all the years wasted on you that you can't even see what's in front of you. This is me Dean, the one and only. So what are you going to do about it?"

That was all the incentive he needed. Not bothering to slow down, Dean quickly reached over and hit his father's body, connecting him with an uppercut to the jaw instantly tossing the older man back into oblivion. "Something that you'd never guess you fugly son of a bitch." He ground out between clenched teeth. He knew that after it was over his father would eventually calm down and forgive him, but he wasn't deluding himself, after this it would be a very long time before he was trusted again.

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Bobby Singer couldn't believe what he'd just heard, but then again he really could. He and some others had been getting the word out that there had been small instances of a demonic virus scattered here and there trying to give other hunters a heads up in hopes of avoiding what had just happened to John Winchester. Shaking his head and pulling his cap back, he couldn't understand what the hell John had been thinking trying to take on a town full of demon spawn with only Dean as backup. Then again, it sounded exactly what John would do if for no other reason than for spite.

"Rumsfield, get your lazy carcass in here. Damn fool dog, don't even know when to get in out of the rain." He groused as he held the door open. Normally he would let the mutt stay out in the downpour but something told him that he was going to need all the help he could get before the night was out. With that thought in mind he set to calling a few people who would be more than a little interested to know what was going on. He knew that Jim wouldn't be able to do anything at the moment, but he hoped that both Caleb and Joshua were available and close so they could help decide if they went the next step or not because that was one phone call he really didn't want to make.

It didn't take long to get the once spacious dining room ready for company, anymore it was more or less ready for anything that could possibly walk in the door. However it took him more time and half a whisky bottle to pull himself together so he wouldn't look at the shotgun that he had sworn the next time it was used would be to put buckshot in John Winchester's ass.

The sound of an approaching vehicle made him want to lock the doors and bear arms until he distinguished the sound to be Caleb's jeep. Irritated that he actually was relived that he had some sort of back up, Bobby marched to the door and flung it open yelling the whole time.

"It's about time you idgit, get in here before we don't have any time to figure out what we're going to do."

Caleb stood in the rain and looked at the older man in surprise. He had no idea what exactly was going on, but from what little Bobby had said and from what he'd intuitively pieced together, Dean was bringing in an infected John and no one was happy about it. Not wanting to make things even harder, he reached behind the seat and grabbed his duffle, hoping that he wouldn't have to worry about using half the stuff in there.

It didn't take long from the time Caleb walked into the old farm house before the sound of the Impala was heard from a mile off sending both hunter's on edge; it sounded like Dean was pushing his baby to limit, telling them everything they needed to know before the sleek black car even pulled into the driveway.

Barely glancing at Caleb, Bobby reached for the phone and dialed the ingrained numbers by memory. It didn't take long before a tired voice answered, making Bobby feel even worse for what he was about to do.

"Caleb and I have a situation here; we can only guess it's serious. We'll have the package to you soon."

"_Understood, just be careful the roads are getting bad again."_

The call was cut quickly both parties knew there was no time to waste on formalities. Bobby nodded to Caleb before answering the unasked question. "Everything will be waiting for us when we get there."

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Blinking away the sleep from his eyes, Sam stretched a moment before walking from the clinic toward the back of the house and worked on getting a pot of coffee made; he knew it would be needed soon. It wasn't often that Bobby brought him a "package" but when he did then it was usually something that was considered a lost cause. It was funny in a surreal sort of way, he had spent so many years trying to fight the dead to save the living and now he was brought the barely living so he could figure out how to keep them from dying; either way he was surrounded by death and destruction.

Seeing the coffee was made, he quickly drank two cups and walked back into the clinic to get the back room ready. He had built the addition himself with the extensive help of Bobby, Caleb and Joshua right after he bought the place in hopes of having someplace for injured hunters to come and be treated with the privacy that often didn't come with some of the injuries that occurred during a hunt. He had actually laughed about it, saying that for the amount of money he put into it, it would be a shame that it would collect dust. Little did he know just how often it would be used making him wish that he could go back in time and shut himself up.

Looking at the clock he knew that Bobby would still have at least another hour and a half on the road which left him enough time to go back into the lab and see how his latest attempt was coming along. It was slow going but he was determined to find the key to the virus that was being spread throughout the country, and hopefully find a way to neutralize it before more people inadvertently came into contact with it and killed each other.

As he walked back down the hall, he unseeingly passed by the framed document on the wall from Harvard Medical School for one Dr. Samuel Singer.

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AN: Let me know if I should continue it or toss it in a closet and beat it into submission. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I hope everyone likes it... don't forget to let me know!

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Pastor Jim Murphy hung up the phone from his disturbing conversation with Bobby and sent a rushed but heart filled prayer to the very God he had promised to serve so very long ago as he rushed through his small home gathering items as he went. He had known this day would come, it was really just a matter of time, but that didn't alleviate his anxiety any. It had taken them years to pull Sam out of his self imposed exile and back into their lives, and now the boy was about to face his biggest challenge yet; his family.

Tossing his bag into the floorboard of his truck, he didn't bother with the seatbelt as he raced out the driveway and headed towards the very familiar town of Valley Springs in hopes of getting there before things came to a head. From what Bobby said, he hadn't told Sam who they were bringing in which meant the young man was about to get the shock of his life. Taking a deep breath, he tried to push the harsh memory away but it still rushed forward without mercy.

_The living room was filled with men in various stages of injury and none were in the mood for an argument, too bad for them though, one had been brewing for days and it was like a thundercloud about to break. As they watched the force of nature known as Winchester finally blew and it wasn't a pretty sight._

"_What the hell Sam? You were supposed to have had the south end covered, where were you?" John yelled at his youngest son, not expecting the answer that spilled out._

"_Covering your ass… sir!" Sam yelled back as he squared off his sixteen year old body against his imposing father._

"_SAM!" Dean admonished from the side, knowing that this was getting out of control fast._

"_No Dean, I'm not backing off this time. He said he had all the information, he wouldn't listen to anything anyone said about waiting another day and we walked right into an ambush!" Sam said quietly, the anger still boiling over with the situation still fresh in his mind._

_John's face had successfully turned a dark red and his hands had already curled up into fists until they were white. "Outside… now!"_

"_Now wait a minute." Bobby said as he and the others got up from their chairs. "The boy was right John and you know it. We didn't have our act together and…"_

"_If his head had been in the hunt instead of thinking about studying for his next test we wouldn't have needed another day to confirm what we already knew."_

_The silence in the room was deafening with each of the other hunters looking uneasily at each other. Not wanting to stray from the actual issue at hand, they decided to ignore that comment for the moment and try to diffuse the situation._

"_John, we all thought it was multiple poltergeists, that's why we all came in to deal with it; it was going to be too much for one person or small group to handle." Joshua said calmly while placing a hand on John's shoulder. "Sammy's the one who suspected something more and if we had given the situation more time we wouldn't have had our asses handed to us. Now how about we all take a step back and…"_

"_Back off Josh!" John growled without taking his eyes off his youngest. "This is about not following orders, nothing else."_

"_No John, you're wrong. This is about you not being right. You forget we were there too. That damn demon was closing in on you and none of us were going to get to you in time. Sammy's the one who managed to get in a shot to give you enough time to get to cover. If you'd just think about it…"_

"_ENOUGH! Sam knows he's to stay with Dean, no matter what. His disregard to the plan could have gotten everyone killed." John said with such distaste that the youngest Winchester actually took a half step back with wide eyes causing Dean to take a half step forward to try and make up the difference._

_Dean wasn't sure what was really going on but he knew one thing, this was getting ridiculous. "Dad, come on. We're all here in basically one piece. Lets just…"_

"_Its ok Dean, I get it." Sam said quietly. "Dad wants me to be like you, and I'm not." Seeing his brother's questioning gaze, he smiled sadly. "I'm not the perfect soldier he was hoping I would be, and I never will be… will I Dad?"_

_Everyone stopped moving and watched John carefully to gauge his reaction. When he let out a heavy breath they knew that something fundamental had changed and it couldn't be for the better._

"_No Sam, you're not. You're too stubborn to do what you're told, you have no discipline, and you can't follow orders worth a damn. If I had to rely on you to watch my back, I'd be dead inside a month. You're a liability in the field Sam. Maybe once you graduate High School things can be different, but right now your priorities are totally messed up and…"_

"_I graduated last month Dad." Sam interrupted sadly. He had known that his father had forgotten even though Dean had insisted that wasn't the case. Looking at the man he'd admired for so long, but now was so disillusioned with, Sam understood that he wasn't good enough and with that he nodded once and headed towards the door. He wasn't going to allow anyone to see how this was really affecting him; he wouldn't let them see him cry._

"_You walk out that door Sam, you don't come back. You can't just run away every time you get your feelings hurt." John said while staring at the opposite wall, ignoring the protests of the others._

_Only pausing for a moment, Sam knew he couldn't hold back any longer and walked out into the night while trying to stifle the sob threatening to rise up and choke him._

That had been one night that Jim had always prayed to be able to forget. Not only had it caused a rift between John and the other hunters, one that still hadn't been mended, but it had taken the others two days to find the distraught teen and convince him to come back. It had been devastating to watch the realization on Sam's face when he understood that his father and brother had left immediately after the argument, effectively leaving him to his own devices. Now he was going to have to witness a not so ideal reunion and he feared the outcome for this family.

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Dean wasn't sure exactly why he was feeling apprehensive about this. Maybe it was because Bobby and Caleb were intentionally vague about who they were going to meet. It was no secret that his father and the other hunters hadn't voluntarily spoken to each other in years, ever since that night that sent his whole world falling apart, but now he was starting to get concerned that he had made a mistake by going to Bobby for help in the first place.

Shaking his head, he quickly dispelled that thought. Just because Bobby and a few others had stood up against his dad didn't mean that weren't trustworthy, especially in a case like this. Still, he wasn't all that comfortable in not knowing what was really going on. With Caleb sitting shotgun giving directions, and Bobby in the back keeping an eye on a very unconscious John, it was making him more than a little nervous and he had no idea why.

He replayed the scene at Bobby's over and over in his head trying to find some sort of clue as to what he had really walked into, but nothing really stood out leaving him more puzzled than ever. It hadn't been too much of a surprise to see both older men already out the door and racing towards the car in the middle of the downpour. Of course it was only a little odd to watch them situate his dad in the backseat and settle into the car themselves effectively leaving their vehicles behind. The only thing that really stood out was they hadn't told him their destination, instead insisting that they give him direction on the way.

"Knock it off kid." Caleb said quietly. "We'll get there in another hour or so, let's just hope that he'll be able to help."

"You know, that's not the first time you've hinted at someone without coming right out and saying who you're talking about and I have to tell you, it's getting on my last nerve. Just where are we going and why?" Dean asked, trying hard to keep his voice calm but noting the slight shake in it showing that he was too tired to keep up pretenses anymore; he was tired, stressed out and now more than just a little bit worried.

Bobby continued to watch John while keeping an eye out to see just how much longer they really had. "Dean boy, I suggest you cool your jets. If we knew you wouldn't blow a gasket we'd give you more information, as it is though your daddy is about to die if we don't get him the help he needs and that means that you'll shut up and drive until we tell you to stop."

Stunned, Dean continued to drive for a moment before he suddenly pulled onto the shoulder of the road and put the Impala in park. Looking at the men sitting in the dark with him he wondered just what exactly was going on and why he suddenly felt that he needed answers right now. "How 'bout you tell me now what the hell is going on and I'll decided whether or not to continue down the road."

Caleb cursed a moment before reaching over, grabbing the keys from the ignition and tossing them out the window. "Two can play that game kiddo. Now how about we just sit here and listen to that stubborn mule headed father of yours succumb to this damn disease even more? That sound like a plan to you? Great!"

Dean stared at Caleb a moment before he turned to Bobby. "What the…"

"Dean, you need to pull your head out of your ass. Your dad is hurt, he's managed to alienate everyone around him but you, and you want to argue with us? Get real!" Caleb said with disgust, truly wondering what he was thinking in getting involved with the Winchester's again. Then he remembered and he cursed again before getting out of the car to find the keys.

Confused, Dean looked at Bobby for guidance. "What just happened here?"

"He just remembered what was more important than the feud John started so many years ago." Bobby said with a soft chuckle. Before he was able to continue however he heard Dean's voice call out in protest.

"Whoa, wait a minute! I was there, I know for a fact that Dad didn't start this one. He was right, Sam could have gotten us all killed and…"

"Really? Funny how that's not how the rest of us remember it. In fact if it hadn't been your brother's quick thinking, John would be dead. Since we're on the subject though, you want to tell me how you justified leaving your sixteen year old brother behind afterwards?" Bobby asked while looking at the younger man closely. "No answer? Didn't think so. Don't worry about it, the kid survived if it means anything to you."

The car was silent for a few moments before Dean finally answered. "We were only going to be gone long enough for everyone to cool off. It wasn't like we'd really leave him behind, he was our Sammy. We can't help it that he left and didn't look back. I mean how were we supposed to pick him up if we had no idea where he was?"

Connecting the palm of his hand to the back of Dean's head, Bobby hissed out, "Why don't you try thinking for yourself for once boy?" Seeing the shocked look on Dean's face he shook his head. "Did you really think that your daddy had no clue where that boy was? Are you really that stupid?" When he didn't get an answer from Dean, he quickly reined in his temper and turned back to the person he was really pissed off at. "If we hurry, John should stay under until we get him settled in his new accommodations. It's a good thing too 'cause I used the last of the sedative the last time the damn fool woke up."

The sound of the passenger side door opening stopped any further conversation. When Caleb got settled he tossed the keys to Dean and gently ordered, "Go." Suddenly feeling the need to get moving, Dean started the Impala and pulled quickly back onto the road. Still not knowing where he was going, he could only hope that he wasn't walking his remaining family into Hell.

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The sun was starting to peek over the horizon giving the morning subdued bursts of color as the unseasonable rain continued to come down in torrents. It didn't take long for the sleek black car to pull behind a nondescript house that looked like it had had better days a hundred years before. The only sound that could be heard was the Impala's motor until Dean killed the engine and opened the door quickly, anxious to find out what was so important about this place.

"Dean, let's get John inside quickly. We'll go through the back door down the hall and through the door on the right." Bobby said firmly, not wanting there to be any miscommunication.

Already a step ahead, Dean was already maneuvering his mostly unconscious father out of the car. With Caleb's help they managed to drag John into the house and down the hallway to the door which opened into a spacious room which looked like a combination exam/recovery room. Laying their heavy burden onto the table, both men worried that he would waken before help arrived.

The door opened and both Bobby and Jim walked through not looking happy. Seeing Dean, Jim smile though and walked towards the younger man.

"Dean, its so good to see you again!" Jim said while enveloping Dean into a slight hug. "I know that this is a tough time, but we'll get through this."

"Huh… if I didn't know better Jim I'd think this was an intervention." Dean snarked before looking over at John once again. "Look, I don't even know why we're here so how about someone fill me in."

The other three hunters looked at each other before nodding. Jim guided Dean to a chair next to the exam table while Bobby started to pace leaving Caleb to get to the point. "River Grove wasn't the first place that people have been infected by this demonic virus. In fact, it seems that the other places this occurred were trial runs since those infected died within a couple of days usually after they went on a killing spree. We've been trying to spread the word about it, but so far there hasn't been an actual pattern so its impossible to figure out where its striking next."

Dean looked at Caleb with dread. "Yeah but now someone can do something about it, right… that's why we're here, there's a cure?"

Bobby stopped his pacing and looked as if there were a thousand other places he'd rather be. "No son, there's no cure… not yet, but I think… we think that we're close. Normally the victim's alive for only a couple of days, but now with treatment it's been prolonged a week. From what we've heard about this batch though it looks like it's been refined to keep the hosts alive so they can spread the infection to others. If this is the case we might have a chance to keep John alive until an actual cure can be found."

Feeling as if he'd been hit by a sledgehammer Dean tried to understand what he'd been told, tried to understand how something that had happened before had slipped under his dad's radar. The slight rustling next to him was the only warning he had before a strong arm wrapped around his neck cutting off his airflow. "Dad?" he gasped while trying to break the steel grip. He could tell both Bobby and Caleb were kicking themselves but that was going to have to wait, right now he needed a chance to breathe.

"You think you have it all figured out do you? Too bad… I would have enjoyed watching your faces when you finally find out the truth." John sneered as he pulled Dean backwards towards the door.

"Dad, come on… this isn't you, you need to fight this!" Dean croaked as his windpipe was closed off even further.

Any response that John would have made was cut off as he dropped limply to the floor leaving Dean gasping for air. The sounds of Bobby and Caleb talking at once seemed to blur around the edges of his hearing, so much that it took him another moment to realize that there was a newcomer in the room. Turning around he saw a thin man with long wavy hair, wearing a white coat crouching down by his dad checking his vital signs and muttering something that only Bobby seemed to be able to hear. It took a minute before Dean could say something without coughing.

"You better hope you didn't hurt him with whatever you did." Dean said firmly as he moved quickly to assess the situation. "Otherwise I'll kill you where you stand."

The man sighed before he spoke in a low voice filled with sadness. "This wasn't a good idea Jim." As he stood, he motioned for someone to help him and within moments John was back on the table. "I'll do what I can, but I can't make any promises."

"Yeah well, I wasn't asking for any… just make sure you don't make it worse." Dean said before he looked to the other hunters. "So now what… we sit around singing Kumbaya or do we actually go and find the bastards that did this to Dad?"

"You don't do anything except get some sleep and something to eat… leave the rest to me." The doctor said while drawing blood from John's arm.

Feeling the fury build even more Dean tried to figure out where he knew this guy from. Sure he hadn't seen the guy's face, but he was sure that he recognized something about him…but he couldn't place it. "Right, so I'm supposed to leave the most important person in my life to some long haired dude that doesn't even show a person their face. Sorry man, but if you think I'm leaving him here alone with you then you're crazy." He felt a moment of satisfaction when he heard the exasperated sigh from the other man. It was short lived however whenever the doctor turned to face him, leaving him feeling once again like he'd been hit with a sledgehammer.

"Nice to see you haven't changed Dean." Sam said as he faced the brother he hadn't seen in eight years.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint... oh, it's kind of graphic towards the end so be careful when reading it. This of course is for Ephiny... hope you like it, see bribary works! ;)

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Dean stared at the man before him and was struck dumb, he couldn't believe what he was seeing; it looked like Sam, but that was impossible…wasn't it? He continued to stare even as the person who looked like his brother spoke to everyone in the room, and with great effort he brought his attention back to what was going on around him.

"I'll start analyzing this sample and hopefully we'll get some good news. I gave him a large enough dose that he should be out of commission for most of the day, but I want him on an IV, hopefully we can dilute this enough before he goes completely psychotic." Sam said as he prepared to insert the port in John's arm. "There's food in the kitchen, Mr. Schultz had another attack and his wife went a little overboard in the 'thanks' department, so please… eat!" After checking the line and making sure that John was stable, he turned around and walked out of the room with the vile of blood in his hand.

The door closed and for a moment there was complete silence while everyone lost themselves in their own thoughts. Suddenly though Dean couldn't stay quiet anymore. "What the hell? Is this some sort of joke?"

Jim sighed heavily while he watched Caleb flex his fists and Bobby rub the nape of his neck in the attempt to gain control of his emotions. "No Dean, it's not a joke. The only person who's come even remotely close to finding out how to stop this is Sam, so how about we let him do his job and we'll help him get rid of some of that fine food that Mrs. Schultz undoubtedly loaded him up on."

"No way… I'm not leaving my dad here by himself, especially with… with him floating around. He could try to…"

"To what Dean, get revenge… make him pay? Sounds more like John's department don't you think?" Caleb spat out, trying hard to fight the impulse to knock Dean out.

"Whatever… get out! I mean it, get out of here!" Dean demanded as he took a seat next to the exam table making his opinion clear of what he thought.

Shaking his head, Bobby motioned for Caleb to follow while calling out to Jim. "We'll bring a plate back. Make sure the damn idgit doesn't do anything stupid."

Once again the door closed leaving the room in silence. Jim watched the younger man as he sat mulishly next to his father and wondered just how they all had gotten to this point. Refusing to leave these misguided men alone, he sat in a chair on the opposite side of the room and prepared to sit vigil for as long as necessary.

Dean heard every sound in the room and even the absence of it, it was enough to make him go stir crazy but he fought that feeling, refusing to anyone the satisfaction of seeing him break down. As hard as he tried to stay focused on his surrounding, the memories of so long ago crept upon him until he was seeing that time so very long ago.

"_Come on Dad, I know that you're still mad but it's been a freakin' week… it's time to go back." Dean said, frustrated at the man sitting half drunk in front of him. Ever since they had left Blue Earth, his dad had been even more irritable and down right demanding at times. The plan had been to find a place close by and wait the situation out a couple of days before going back and dragging Sammy home, now though it looked as if someone was going to have to be the voice of reason, and didn't he hate to have that job title._

_John looked up at his son for a moment before he tossed back another shot. "He's gone Dean, he walked away from us…from finding the thing that killed your Mother. I talked to Jim earlier and they can't find him… he turned his back on us at the first opportunity and left."_

"_What? Ok... that's it, your drunk Dad, let's get out of here and sober you up…"_

_Laughing darkly John looked Dean in the eyes. "Tell me I'm kidding about this, Dean. Sammy's gone, why do you think we're here instead of packing him up? Caleb and Bobby have been looking for him since he walked out the door and Joshua's been following some leads while Jim's been trying to get the word out about him. We're here because someone thought they saw him, but it was just another dead end."_

_Dean sat in disbelief and let his father's words sink in. They had left a week ago and no one knew where his brother was since then, he was missing… that had to be it, Sammy had been taken and…_

"_Here, you might want to read this before you go charging off." John said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to Dean across the table._

_Not wanting to look at whatever it was, but not able to stop himself, Dean took the page and started reading._

_Dean,_

_I'm sick of this life and I'm sick of Dad. You've always been the better son for him so I'm backing off and letting the two of you do what you do best. Don't try to find me because you taught me better than that… I don't want to be found, so I won't be._

_I love you bro, but not what you're becoming._

_Sam_

_Not knowing what to do with the letter, Dean continued to read it until finally John got up from the table and guided him to the Impala. Within moments they were heading towards a new destination to undergo the patented Winchester therapy, another hunt in another town._

Dean still had the letter hidden deep in his wallet and even now would occasionally take it out and reread it whenever he wondered why he didn't just walk away. It always brought him back to reality; his dad was the only one he could count on. Even the other hunters that he thought were friends had turned their backs on them, making their dependence on each other even more pronounced. Now though he had to rely on those very same people to help keep his dad alive, and he wasn't happy about it.

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Sam stared at the sample under the microscope and allowed his head to drop. The sample was similar to what he'd seen before, but there was enough difference that he'd have to start his analysis all over again. Taking his notebook out of the drawer, he drew what he saw and made notes in the margins taking care to note the interactions with other cell developments. It didn't take long, but he felt as if he'd been there for days causing a weary feeling settle upon him.

Looking over at the clock he knew he needed more caffeine in him if he was going to last the morning much less the rest of the day. As he walked out of his small lab he compared his notes from each of the other samples against what he saw with his fathers and wondered what the changes he saw actually meant. He continued to walk while reading until he made it back to the coffeemaker and then he stared at the dark liquid as if he couldn't remember why he was there. Sighing, he rubbed his face with his hands and wished that he'd gotten more sleep but when you were the only doctor in a very small town there were times when sleep was a rare commodity.

"Hey kiddo, how ya holding up?" Caleb asked as he and Bobby walked into the room while looking at the younger man in front of them.

A slight chuckle escaped Sam's lips before he shook his head. "You know, I have no idea. Right now I'm so tired that I came in here for something and can't remember what I came in here for." He said while not looking up from his notes. It didn't take long before a cup of coffee was placed in front of him and he groaned. "Yeah, ok smartass… thanks for making me feel like an idiot."

Caleb smirked as he saw the self depreciating look on Sam's face. "Anytime kiddo. Seriously though, how are you? I know this is a shock, but we didn't want to freak you out over the phone."

"Yeah Sam, we know how much you've been dealing with around here and…"

"And you didn't want me to panic before you got here, right?" Sam asked Bobby as he drank his coffee. "I still love her you know? There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish that…"

Both Bobby and Caleb knew exactly what Sam wished, and was more than a little thankful that it had never been granted. Neither one would ever forget that day three years ago when every emergency contact for Samuel Singer had been notified that his life was fading fast and they all needed to get to Boston, Massachutes as soon as possible. They knew it had to be bad if all four of them, Bobby, Jim, Caleb and Joshua, were being called in at the same time, and it didn't take them too long to find the next planes out to find out what happened. None of them would forget watching him lying still in an isolation room while those around him fought for his life, it was something none of them wanted a repeat of ever in their lifetimes.

"Sam, son… I know it hurts, but you can't give up. Don't you know how much you mean to us… to others?" Bobby asked, his voice thick.

Sam suddenly jerked up in horror. "Oh God… Bobby! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to… I just… really, just forget I said anything. I know you understand, I didn't mean to make you think that I didn't! I promise Bobby, I'll pull myself out of this. I'm really sorry to make you worry like that."

Bobby grabbed hold of Sam's hand and nodded. "I know son, I know. I just want to make sure you don't forget that you have a life worth living, ok? Don't get so weighed down with grief that you forget that, ok?"

"How can I forget that? If it wasn't for you guys I wouldn't be where I am right now, especially you Bobby." Sam said quietly then looked up again. "Thanks again Bobby, I still don't think I'll ever be able to…"

"Ah c'mon Sam, knock it off before you get me acting like some old woman. You really think I adopted you out of the goodness of my heart? Hell no boy, I plan on you supporting me in my old age… had to make sure you had a way to do that." Bobby said with a grin making the other two men laugh at the absurd statement.

Nodding, Sam smiled and left the kitchen with his coffee in one hand and his notebook in the other mumbling about missing something obvious. Caleb watched him go with a worried look on his face before he turned to the older man.

"How do you really think he's doing?"

Bobby snorted into his coffee effectively answering the question without words; _he ain't._

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Jim was more than a little tired of Dean's silent treatment, but decided to ignore him a little while longer, giving them both a break from trying to be civil. However it wasn't too much longer before Dean was moving around in his chair giving the long known signal that something was weighing heavy on his mind.

"So what is this place?"

Looking around, Jim wondered how it couldn't be obvious but decided to humor Dean anyway. "It's a clinic mostly. The main portion is for the normal occurrences, but this room is for hunt related injuries. The whole property is protected so no one has to feel confined, but discretion is encouraged anyway." Seeing the question on Dean's face he smiled. "Small towns talk Dean, too many of the 'wrong visitors' and Sam wouldn't be able to do what he does here."

Dean snorted once before he looked away making his opinion known about what he thought. He looked around a moment before settling his gaze back on his father. It had been awhile since Bobby and Caleb had followed the man that Jim insisted was Sam, and he still had to wonder if this whole thing wasn't some sort of weird setup. Sighing, he finally looked back at Jim. "So, any way to get a decent cup of coffee around here?"

"Kitchen's down the hall boy, pretty hard to miss." Bobby said as he walked in the door and handed Jim a warmed plate containing several different types of casserole. "Don't get any idea's, I only play waitress for certain people."

"And such a fine one you make Bobby." Dean smirked before standing up and stretching. "So, if I go for coffee, you two will make sure he's still alive by the time I get back?"

Taken aback at the question, Jim could only stare at Dean but Bobby held firm. "Your Daddy is in the best hands possible, so I suggest you cut the crap."

Shrugging his shoulders, Dean gave a quick look towards the man on the table taking in everything about him so he'd know if anything tried anything, then made his way towards the kitchen. Seeing an open area further down, he went to investigate seeing a large living room area complete with couches and chairs throughout the room, a large enclosed bookcase against a wall filled with old and new books all without dust. As he got a better look around the room he noticed something that made the room different from others that he'd seen in his life; pictures on the walls and tables. Each one a moment in time unfamiliar to him, making him wonder what the story was behind each one, especially the ones with a gorgeous blonde with Sam captured inside various frames.

"I suggest you don't move any of them, he's very possessive of them." Caleb said quietly from a spot close to the side windows.

Ignoring the warning, Dean picked up a frame that had the happy couple riding horses through a park somewhere. Putting the frame down, he noticed that Caleb hadn't moved since speaking and walked over to investigate what was so fascinating beyond the windows. Looking out the glass he wasn't prepared to see Sam shirtless in what looked to be a meditative stance. He was even less prepared to see the scars that marred the other man's back and side, making him wonder what had happened since the last time he'd seen his brother.

"If you want answers then I suggest you ask him, but wait until he puts his shirt back on… he's still self conscious about it." Caleb said quietly as he continued to watch Sam meditate in the light rain.

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Meditating had been something he'd done at first to show a girl how open minded he was, but it quickly turned into something much more. He'd never forget the explanation that his friend Missouri had given him, 'you've tapped into the dormant abilities of your mind Sam. Now you need to keep it up before you lose control over them.' He took her words to heart, knowing that Bobby would never have told her about the visions that had practically crippled him, unless she was trustworthy. Now it was a way to try and keep focused in the here and now instead of becoming overwhelmed in the many possibilities. It would have been so easy to lose himself to his nightmares, but with Bobby's and the other's help, he was able to overcome his fear of being something to be hunted and destroyed and concentrate more on how to use his abilities to help others. Too bad sometimes horrible things still happened sometimes even with advanced notice.

"_I'm fine Mr. Moore, honestly. We just need to get back to Jess, I'll explain everything then." Sam pleaded as his girlfriend's father helped him into the rental car._

_Alex Moore had seen many people get hit by sudden headaches, but he'd never seen anything quite like what Sam had just experienced. His first instinct was to rush the young man to the nearest hospital, but something in the other man's voice spurred him to listen and get them to his daughter as quickly as possible. _

_Sam continued to call the hotel room with no success and even resorted to calling the front desk to ask the manager to check on her. In the ten minutes that it took them to get back to the hotel and up to their room, Sam was focused only on one thing; save Jessica. He would never remember the group of people wrestling a man down to the ground, or the sound of a fire alarm echoing through the halls, or even of Jessica's father screaming as he realized his little girl was inside the burning room; he would only remember seeing the room engulfed in flames and Jessica in the center of the chaos tied to a chair screaming as the flames burned hot against her body, the smell of burning hair and flesh as he got closer and attempted to untie her ignoring the flames burning through his clothing as his attempts were constantly thwarted as his fingers became further damaged and wouldn't cooperate, the feeling of helplessness as he was tackled to the floor by firefighters who arrived on the scene and dragged him out of the room while he continued to fight to get to her._

It wasn't until he woke up in the burn unit of Boston General a week later that he found out that Jessica hadn't made it out of the room alive and the man who had tied her up to watch her burn had a long history of mental illness and had been released from prison after serving two years for aggravated assault. It took two orderlies and a strong sedative to keep him from getting out of bed to track the bastard down, even though he was swathed in bandages and being told how lucky he was to be responding to treatment so well for his second and third degree burns.

He'd often wondered why he hadn't seen what was going to happen sooner, and even Jim's explanation didn't soothe him. Somehow 'because you weren't supposed to' just sounded hollow and false to him. So he made a promise on Jessica's grave that he'd get his abilities figured out and would do his best to make sure he got there in time the next time he had a vision. It didn't help the loss that he felt, but it did make him hope that something good could come out of something so horrendous; that was why he continued to meditate every morning and every night, no matter the weather, he couldn't let his Jess down… not again.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Ok... there is a town named Valley Springs, SD... but I don't know anything about it except what I found out from Google. The same goes for Sioux Falls and its hospitals. I am not a dr, so please forgive any errors in the medical areas, even though I do try to research them.

Thanks to everyone who's making this story such a success... as you know the alerts were down for awhile and if I mistakenly missed replying to anyone, please forgive me and know that you are well and truly appreciated.

I hope you all enjoy this one... I'm sort of crosseyed at the moment (tired is now my middle name), so I'm hoping I actually did it some justice... let me know either way. Now, on with the story!

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Caleb saw the car barreling towards the house before Sam even seemed to register the sound of tire on gravel. Taking Dean roughly by the shoulder, he marched the other man back down the hall towards the other hunters, ignoring the protests that were spewing forth. He knew that whoever it was that needed Sam's attention at the moment didn't need to know how many others were already there and why.

"Damn it Caleb, let go!" Dean demanded as he started to fight the other man off. He wasn't prepared to be slammed against the hallway nor was he prepared to hear the fierceness that was aimed at him.

"Look, your brother has a patient and from the looks of it, it's an emergency. So how about you pull your head out of your ass and cooperate for once… or has John really turned your head around so damn much that you can't see what's really in front of you anymore?" Caleb hissed, knowing that if Dean gave him anymore crap he'd end up breaking a promise and knocking the punk on his ass.

Dean stared at Caleb and noticed that the house was no longer silent as harried voices could be heard getting closer. "Whatever, I'll play nice… for now. But once Dad is back up and around, We. Are. Out. Of. Here. Got it?"

Shaking his head, Caleb let Dean go and watched as he practically marched down the hallway and disappear through the other doorway. Sighing, he prayed that John would be able to get back up if for no other reason than he could tell the cold hearted bastard exactly what he thought of him.

Hearing the front door burst open he made his way back to John's room so not to interfere with Sam's work. He was proud of the kid and would never do anything to hurt him. It wasn't that the townspeople didn't know about Sam's 'uncle's', but this was one trip that they all wanted to keep on the down low if at all possible; their last visit had caused way too many tongues wagging as it was. Walking into the back room, he made sure the door was slightly ajar so they could find out what was going on without being too nosy.

"I'm really sorry Dr. Sam, I was really careful I swear, but Buddy got it into this head to head towards the barn and there was no persuading him otherwise. Next thing I know I'm getting whacked in the head with the top of the barn door frame and he's trying to get me off." A tiny voice cried out.

"Well Jimmy, you know the drill. I can try to stop the bleeding here, but it looks like another trip into Sioux Falls for you." Sam said sadly. "Mrs. Myers please sit down, Jimmy will be fine we just need to get some more clotting agents in him and make sure it takes, ok? Now I'm going to call Henry, he's on duty today and you know as well as I do that he loves any excuse to drive that new ambulance of his."

"Thank you Sam, I know that I'm overreacting, but with Tom gone…"

"You're fine, I'd act the same way if I was in your shoes. Now, keep pressure on that cut and I'll be right back."

The sound of a door lightly closing and Sam's heavy sigh could be heard but it was the low conversation that caused the older hunters to worry. "Henry, it's Sam… yeah uh, not so good, the Myers boy took a pretty good hit in the head and… yeah he does. Look I don't want them to worry, but the normal treatment isn't working as well, he needs to get to the hospital and I'm in the middle of… thanks, I knew you would. Yeah, I'll call ahead and make sure everything's ready." There was a slight pause before he started speaking again, this time with more authority and a determination that would put any other man to shame. "This is Dr. Samuel Singer in Valley Springs; I'm sending a twelve year old boy by ambulance due to head trauma with hemophilic complications. Anti clotting agent has been administered, but isn't effective. I need a trauma team already on stand by, ETA forty-five minutes. Very good, thank you."

The sound of a siren became more pronounced and soon the sound of the door being flung open echoed throughout the building and an accompanying voice was heard. "Doc? I got her warmed up and rarin' to go… where's my co-pilot?"

It took less than two minutes for Sam to get the boy and his mother inside the ambulance and the physician orders written for the attending physician's at the hospital. By the time the siren has faded, the house was quiet once again giving the area an eerie feel. Finally, Sam walked back inside and shut the door against the winter morning hoping he did the right thing.

Bobby, Caleb and Jim watched the door as Sam walked back into the room tossing the bloody gloves into the trash can as he walked over to the exam table. No one said a word while he took another set of vital signs and shook his head. They continued to watch as he wrote more notes in his notebook before heading out the door muttering that he'd be right back. It wasn't until the door closed fully that a collective sigh was heard expressing what they felt; Sam was taking this personally, and they didn't know what would happen if something happened to that boy.

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Sam walked back through the living area part of the clinic trying to put his thoughts together. He hated having to send Jimmy to the hospital, but he knew it was for the best especially if his vision from earlier was correct; that knock on the head would have led the boy to his death in less than six months because of an undiagnosed bleed. He knew that in an hour he'd get a phone call questioning his orders for a PET scan, but he knew what he saw and would stand behind his decision no matter how over the top it sounded.

Looking down at his shirt he knew he need to change before going back into the lab to rerun some tests, the blood it the small exam room that Jimmy had just vacated would have to wait until he finished in the lab, he couldn't become more distracted than he was already. Making his way upstairs, he was thankful for all the hard work that his friends had put into the old farmhouse. With the ground floor taken up with most of the clinic necessities, it was nice to be able to escape into the true 'living quarters' that made this his home.

As he walked through the open living area he paused only for a moment as he looked at a picture containing Bobby, himself as well as his 'Uncles' and Jessica. It was taken during Stanford's Commencement and he still felt a sense of pride every time he looked at it, not because of what he had accomplished, but the new family that he had discovered along the way; it wasn't just his moment, but all of their's and he didn't mind letting everyone know.

Standing in his room he once again wished that his Jess was there by his side, but pushed that thought away not wanting to dwell on it any further. "I miss you Jess, with all my heart. I just hope I'm doing right by you now. I love you." He said quietly as he pulled another shirt out of the closet and tossed the other one in the hamper in the closet. Tracing a finger along the jaw line of the picture of her hanging on the wall, he nodded slightly before making his way back downstairs; he had work to do.

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Dean felt like his stomach had just dropped to his feet when he heard Sam talk about the boy who had been brought in. Normally he didn't think too much about life outside of hunting, but there were times even he couldn't mistake the signs of fear lingering underneath the 'apple pie life' he'd so often sneered at. As he looked at the others he saw something in each of them and wondered about it.

"So who is this kid and what's the big deal?" he asked, trying to sound casual, but really wanting to know why these hardcore demon hunters felt compelled to feel sadness over a boy that they probably only barely knew.

Caleb refused to answer the callous question and even Jim looked like he wanted smack Dean upside the head. Finally though Bobby spoke in a low voice. "The big deal is that the kid is a hemophiliac so even a small cut can cause major problems, from the blood on Sam's shirt, I'd say it was more than just a tiny boo boo. If something happens to that boy, his mama is going to be devastated; she's already lost her husband this year, she doesn't need to lose her son on top of that. Any more questions?" Bobby asked, making it clear that the topic for him was closed.

Feeling a little bit foolish, Dean sat quietly for a moment before he looked at Bobby again. "So, you what…let his talk you into adopting him? We weren't good enough for him so he started working on you instead of dealing with the consequences of his actions?"

Bobby bolted out of his chair and towered over Dean before snarling, "Now you wait a damn minute boy, it was me trying to convince him of it first off, and second you have no room to judge. You and John made your feelings about him more than clear enough on more than one occasion so I suggest you keep your opinion to yourself before I cram it back down your throat."

"Bobby, enough! I won't have you threatening people around one of my patients." Sam said calmly as he walked into the room and hooked another saline bag to the IV. "We have to start from the beginning and go from there, at least until I can figure out what I'm missing." He looked over to Jim and smiled slightly. "Do you link you could whip up some more holy water, this time with some of that herbal tincture that's in the kitchen? I'm hoping it'll keep it from gaining strength before we have a chance at beating it."

Jim smiled and knew exactly what Sam was talking about; if you're fighting a demonic virus then items used to get rid of demonic influences probably needed to be used. Nodding, he walked out of the room to get started on his project, hoping he wasn't making a mistake by leaving to help referee.

"Hey kiddo, what do you need me to do… and don't say 'nothing' because I know that you don't have as near as much time as you keep claiming. So how about the leak in the roof, you ever get to that or is that attic getting flooded as we speak?" Caleb asked and then chuckled when he saw the sheepish grin on Sam's face. "Ok, the roof it is. It looks like its stopped raining for a bit, so I'd better get out there now before it ices over." He saw the grateful look on Sam's face and his suspicions were confirmed, the kid had been burning the candle at both ends again causing his worry meter to ratchet up another two notches. Hesitating only another moment, he made his way towards the shed where he knew the supplies were there waiting patiently for someone to come by and utilize them.

As Dean watched carefully, Sam made sure that his father was still out for awhile before turning back towards the door to get back into the lab. He knew that he was missing something vital, but he couldn't seem to get his thoughts organized. 'Now would be a great time for a vision.' He thought wryly to himself, and then thought better of it since he knew exactly how his father and brother felt about people like him. Sighing, he was almost through the door before he was stopped by Dean's question.

"By the way, what did you give him to knock him out so fast?"

Not bothering to look back, Sam answered over his shoulder to his very shocked brother. "Ketamine."

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As predicted, almost an hour after young Jimmy Myers was sent to the hospital, the phone rang shrilly causing Sam to curse continuously down the hall to the phone. He was sure he was on the right track before the sound of the phone had tossed his line of reasoning right out the window. Forcing himself to calm down, he answered the phone and wasn't surprised by the voice on the other end.

"Is this Dr. Samuel Singer?"

"Yes, it is. Do I assume this is Sioux Valley?" he asked while rubbing the edges of his eyes in the attempt to rid himself of the tension that was starting to build there.

"Yes, this is Dr. Terry Mansfield and I needed to consult with you about a set of orders that were given to me about one of your patients."

Sam gave a tired chuckle before he shook his head. "I've been expecting your call. I know that it's unorthodox, but if you could run the PET even if you do a CT at the same time it would alleviate my concerns." Sam said as diplomatically as he could when all he wanted to do was yell over the phone that time was wasting and the kid didn't have much of that left.

As Dr. Mansfield contemplated what Sam said, Sam was contemplating what he could do to make the other doctor see his point of view. It felt like a life sized stalemate until the other physician spoke again. "You're right, it's unorthodox, but you know your patient better than I do. I'll make sure it's taken care of. I'm assuming you want a copy of the scans and finding as soon as we get them?"

Taking a deep breath, Sam nodded before answering, "Yes, that would be great to have in his file. I've attached the fax number as well as my email to his paperwork."

After finishing the pleasantries, Sam was able to hang up the phone feeling as if a large weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Lost in his thoughts he didn't realize he had company until Dean spoke right behind him.

"I take it the kid's going to be ok?"

Nodding, Sam smiled before turning around. "Yeah, he is. It'll take a little bit of time, but he'll be better in the long run." Seeing the time, he groaned knowing what would happen if he didn't make his standing appointment. Knowing that he couldn't leave, he hoped to keep the wolves at bay for awhile and picked up the phone once again, praying that someone answered the phone.

"_Hello?"_ a slightly frail voice warbled over the line.

"Hi Ms. Millie, it's Sam did I catch you at a bad time?" he asked, knowing full well what he'd interrupted.

"_Why Sam… it's so nice of you to call. No, no… you could never interrupt an old woman like me. Now what can I do for such a sweet boy like you?"_

Knowing that he was asking for trouble he jumped in feet first. "Ms. Millie, I need to reschedule your appointment for either tomorrow or the day after."

"_My, such a sweet boy you are. I hope you're not working yourself too hard, you know Altha's granddaughter is coming to town next week and I think she needs someone to show her around…."_

Letting is head drop to the wall Sam couldn't help but wonder how anyone needed to be shown around a town that had less than a thousand people total living in it. He suddenly realized that there were more voices across the line than Ms. Millie's and that was all he needed to confirm his fears.

"I take it Ms. Millie is at it again?" A voice from the door way called out in amusement. "What is it this time, her bridge club suddenly stopped by, or is it her Sunday school class who just happens to be young and female?"

Smiling, Sam shook his head and covered the mouthpiece with his hand, "Hey Josh! Neither, apparently Martha Albernathy's granddaughter needs an 'escort' while she's in town."

Joshua barked out his laughter as he closed the door behind him, pointedly ignoring Dean while he walked over and gave Sam's shoulder a squeeze. "All I have to say to that boy is… better you than me!"

"Yeah thanks Josh, just remember you said that once she gets word out that I rescheduled her weekly check up because I'm 'obviously working too hard', we'll see who's laughing when she gets the Merry Matchmaker's marching over here before the end of lunch."

Groaning, Joshua shook his head and raised his hands in defeat. He'd been witness to the madness that that particular group of ladies brought about when they had their eyes set on someone, and right now they had Sam in their cross hairs.

Knowing he'd won, Sam smiled smugly while he still listened to his patient carry on about the virtues of a wife. He knew the old woman meant well, but his heart still belonged to someone else and he couldn't see it ever being another way. "Ms. Millie, I promise you I'll be by in a couple of hours, but you have to promise me not to send anyone over to check on me, ok?"

It took another ten minutes to convince the elderly woman that he was indeed fine, just in the middle of an extremely important project, but that once he got it running then he'd be right over. He had been so caught up in the conversation he had forgotten Dean was still watching him and that Joshua had mentioned something about finding leftovers.

"You know, I always thought it was an Urban Legend about small towns and matchmaker's. How'd you get stuck with one on your ass?" Dean asked as he once again picked up a picture of Sam and the blonde woman, this one was of them playing on a beach somewhere. Suddenly the picture was snatched out of his hands and gently placed back in the exact spot it had resided earlier.

"They're not harmful; they actually think they're helping me get over Jess. Now, is there something you needed? If you want a shower or to lie down for awhile you can go upstairs and use one of the guest rooms. I have to warn you though; Joshua's pretty territorial about the lighthouses, so I'd stay out of that room if you could." Sam said as he watched Dean's face trying to understand what was going on inside that brain. Feeling more than a little frustrated, he started to walk away.

"That's right walk away, that's what you do best, right Sammy… oh wait… Sam Singer?" Dean sneered, hoping that whatever happened next he'd be able to vent the anger that had been boiling close to the surface for so long.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Tissue Alert!! Trust me...

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Sam stood in the middle of the living area and sighed. "Is that what all this is about? You got your feelings hurt so now you want to make me miserable?"

"What I want is for you to explain why the hell you decided to leave and then stick around to do the same damn things you said you hated!" Dean sneered at Sam's back, his disgust clear in his voice.

Turning around, Sam looked at Dean as if he'd just lost his mind. Then again being a Winchester that might not have been so far off. "You know, you stand there asking me a question that you lost all right to ask eight years ago. If you want to know something about my life then ask, but don't you dare judge me, not after what you and… dad pulled." Seeing the unmasked fury in Dean's eyes, Sam shook his head and made his way to the lab; he'd already wasted too much time and he was determined to make sure he didn't do it anymore.

Dean watched Sam walk away and he felt the anger burn hot within him. This was the second time his little brother walked away from him without looking back and it was really starting to piss him off. Determined to hold onto his anger, he ignored the slight tickle at the back of his brain, the same tickle that told him that something wasn't right that he didn't have all the pieces yet. Ignoring the feeling he decided to take his _host_ up on the offer of a shower and made his way up the stairs to scout the area.

Surprised, Dean looked around in appreciation. The top of the stairs led to a large open area that included a large couch as well as a couple of comfortable looking chairs. The large rug that lay in the center looked to be warm and soft giving his toes the urge to curl themselves into it; not that he'd ever admit to it, even under extreme torture. The wood paneling on the walls didn't detract from the look, but accentuated it enough to make it more inviting for relaxation. A computer sat upon an old wooden desk, surrounded by notepads and books, true to that geeky persona that Dean had always teased Sam about. Seeing the doors that flanked the room, he decided to find out just how much of a Suzy Homemaker his little brother had become.

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Jim was worried and he couldn't seem to hide it from the others. It had been one thing to bring John here, and in extension Dean, but now that they all were seeing the ramifications of it, it was quickly becoming a bad idea. With Dean's hostile attitude hanging over everyone it was no wonder that Sam was more pensive, and it didn't take much to know exactly why. John and Dean had definitely continued to blaze a reputation throughout the hunting community, and he'd love to be able to say that it was all good, but he'd have to stay up half the night paying penance for lying. In the effort to avoid long term friends, the Winchester's had hooked up with those who didn't see the shades of grey of the supernatural, those who also saw that breaking the law was just a form of payment for their 'community service'. No, things had definitely changed and they all worried about what would happen if Sam's abilities would make themselves known while his family was there.

"Quite worryin'." Joshua said as he walked into the room. "If anyone else saw you right now then it wouldn't take long to put everything together and how long do you think Sam would last after that?"

Bobby made a sound that mimicked a 'harrumph', but when they looked his way he still had the same expression as earlier as he watched John to make sure he wasn't coming around. Everyone knew his opinion, and the fact that he hadn't voiced it under these circumstances was a testimony to the whole situation. Standing, Caleb was about to leave to stretch his legs when Sam entered once more.

"I need another blood sample to see how it's progressing." Sam said wearily as he walked over and looked down at the man who he, at one time, considered to be his father. Now as he looked, he understood just how conflicted he was. Before him was the man, who for many years raised him, but then there were the men also in the room who had done so much more while asking for so much less. Shaking off his thoughts he concentrated on the task at hand making sure to be as quick and gentle as he could, John might not be his dad anymore, but he still didn't want to see the man hurt. "I'll get this started, but I have to run over and check on Ms. Millie before she sends the whole town over to find out what's going on."

Once again Bobby made a noise that was a cross between a laugh and a cough causing the other men to follow suit. They all had witnessed the town's determination to see their young doctor married off, and if they didn't know better, they would have thought there was an actual contest to see who could get their Sam hitched before anyone else.

"We'll watch things from here, just don't take too long." Caleb said, knowing that it wouldn't be too much longer before John would wake up and become a raging bull.

Nodding, Sam disappeared through the door, once again leaving the other men to their thoughts.

"So, which one of us is going to knock some sense into his brother's head?" Joshua asked calmly as he looked around the room.

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Dean was standing in the last room and wondered about it the most. It was obviously Sam's considering the clothes hanging in the closet, but other than that it looked more like an office than a bedroom; with filing cabinets along one wall and a computer niche along another complete with laptop, printer, phone and reference books galore. As he continued to look around he saw a repeating theme throughout the whole house, a beautiful blonde haired girl with a bright smile.

"Okay, who are you and what do you have to do with anything?" he asked a particularly large picture on the wall. Not getting an answer he was going to leave when he heard the door close behind him.

"Her name is Jessica. She's not an object to be ogled or fondled, so kindly keep your thoughts to yourself." Sam said with disgust as he walked over to the closet and grabbed a clean shirt off the hanger.

Turning, Dean wondered what flew up Sam's ass, but thought better of asking straight out. _'Messy breakup obviously.'_ He thought as he watched his brother walk into the bathroom. He hadn't meant to stand there where he had a perfect view inside from the mirror hanging on the wall, but what he saw froze him where he stood. The scars he had seen earlier on Sam's back were just the beginning as they seemed to continue to worsen the closer they got to his chest, arm and… hands. Feeling as if he were watching a train wreck, he couldn't take his eyes off Sam's upper body as he put the clean shirt on. Whatever had happened to his brother had to have been painful if the scar tissue were anything to go by and something told him that those were just the beginning of the tale.

"What are you doing here Dean?" Sam asked as he tucked the buttoned shirt into his pants and walked back out into his room. "Surely one of the other rooms would have done just as well?"

Stunned for a moment, Dean wasn't sure what Sam was talking about, but suddenly everything slammed into him and he tried for a normal response. "Well you know the first one I tried seemed a little… uh… homey, and the second had all those lighthouses in it, I thought I'd get seasick if I stayed in it any longer, and well, that last one…"

"… had all the toys in it. Yeah, sorry about that. One of the Hartmann kids stayed here for about a week with the flu, their little girl is undergoing chemo and can't be around illnesses, and they have five other kids so it made sense for Tyler to stay here until he felt better. When I get back, I'll clean it up for you."

Dean stared at the man before him wondering when he became such a stranger to him and then realized that eight years can make a big difference. Nodding, he walked out of the room and down the stairs towards the exam room. He suddenly didn't want to be away from his dad even a moment more, there was too much that could go wrong in such a short amount of time. He was about to go into the room when he heard the large engine of a truck crank over, then the sound of rubber on gravel disappearing into the distance, making him feel a certain loss that he hadn't allowed himself to feel for quite awhile.

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It didn't take long to get to the small farmhouse on the other side of town, but for Sam it seemed like a death march. Every week Ms. Millie had someone lined up to meet him, or speak with him, or even in need of his assistance which had long ago turned out to be a euphemism for 'would like to show you a good time.' Try as he might he couldn't be mad at her for it, it actually made him feel cared for in some archaic sense.

Pulling his ancient Bronco into the driveway he groaned slightly when he saw not one vehicle parked in the yard, but five leaving no doubt that the whole women singles group at Ms. Millie's church had been invited for some sort of soiree. Grabbing his bag out of the seat he hadn't made it up the front steps before the door swung open and several young women came out to greet him.

"Dr. Singer, how good of you to come and see her at home. We were just having some lunch, how about joining us?"

'_Sure, and the thought of talking me into staying for awhile hasn't crossed your mind at all.'_ He thought to himself. He knew that the old woman inside had her heart in the right place, but this had to stop, he couldn't remember the last time he had been able to buy groceries without walking back out with at least two invitations to dinner and a very forward push towards 'something more'. It had become such a standing joke that Stan the owner of one of the grocery stores made sure to deliver a standing order every week, freeing Sam of having to deal with it.

Seeing a room full of women, he smiled politely and hoped that he sounded sincere. "Hello ladies, I'm sorry to interrupt but I really do need to check Ms. Millie's condition in private, so if you could give us about twenty minutes?" As he waited for the others to congregate into the kitchen at the far side of the house, he looked at the woman in question and saw her smile. _'Great, now she has something else up her sleeve.'_

"Well Sam, you certainly know how make an entrance." Ms. Millie crowed as she patted a chair next to her. "Come on now, you can't possibly think that I'm going to give up do you? Why, when I was your age I was already happily married and had my third son on the way, you have quite a bit of catching up to do my dear boy."

"Ms. Millie, I doubt I'll ever be able to catch up with you especially since you're determined to outlast us all until every last person is married with babies on the way." Sam said with a smile. He was already taking her pulse and watching her respirations, but he knew already what he was going to hear when he listened to her heart; her condition was rapidly worsening. Sighing, he looked at her and understood that she already knew and was more concerned about him. "How do you do it? Get up every morning and face everyone?" he asked as he wondered about her strength.

"Oh Sam, you still have a lot to learn about life. To truly experience it, you must not be afraid to fail. Once you've accomplished that small task, then everything else is unimportant." The old woman said while returning Sam's smile. She knew that she had become pushy in her need for him to have a wife, but such a good man deserved to be loved in return. "You still think about her everyday, and this is good… as long as you only think about her and not use her as a reason not to live. My Charlie has been gone for forty years and I still think of him everyday, but I am not afraid of loving him less if I continue with my life."

Looking at the frail woman next to him, Sam wondered about what she said and knew that she was right. However he would never love anyone like he did his Jess and he didn't want someone else to settle for something less than one hundred percent. "You know what's happening so I won't insult you by pretending that what you're feeling is nothing. I asked you before to think about the arrangements you wanted, and I need to ask about them now."

Smiling, Ms. Millie took Sam's hand gently as if he was the one who could break. "I will stay in my home as I have for almost eighty years. You cannot prolong my life Sam, please do not prolong my death."

Nodding, Sam bent down and kissed the fragile fingers on top of his hand before kissing her cheek. "Thank you Ms. Millie, for everything."

As he stepped back out onto the porch he knew that would be his last visit with her and it nearly broke his heart.

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It shouldn't have been a surprise that John woke up when Sam wasn't in the clinic, in all actuality it should have been a clear indicator that that would be the exact moment that the eldest Winchester would make his consciousness known. Unfortunately none of the men were truly prepared for the onslaught that they were about to endure to make sure that more damage wasn't done.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME! John shouted as he continued to fight from their grip. "You want to help out that bastard, after everything he's done?"

Dean, as shocked as he was that his dad had woke from the drug suddenly and ready to do battle, could only stand there and try to keep his father from getting off the table by putting all his body weight onto the other man's chest. He wouldn't register anything said in the room until later, and then the questions would really begin.

"John, you need to calm down. You've been infected with some sort of demonic toxin and you're not thinking rationally." Jim said with as much patience as he could muster after being kicked full on in the face by John's boot.

"You're lying! You're all in on it to stop me and I'll see you burn for it!" John continued to rant as he strained against the five men holding him down on the table.

Caleb was getting tired of feeling like a rag doll and his temper was taking just as strong of a beating. "Damn it John, calm down! You're here to get help, nothing else. You need to listen!"

John roared with anger and finally got the upper hand by loosening the pressure of his left arm and taking advantage of Dean's shock in order to fling the younger man away from him. In the amount of time it took Dean to stand back up, John was already working his leverage to his favor and gaining ground, it would only take another minute for the hunters to tire and he'd once again have the upper hand.

Seeing the danger they all were in, Bobby let go momentarily to reach into the top drawer and grab a pre-filled syringe in hopes that it would at least slow the raging man down long enough to tie him down. It took two tries before Bobby could depress the plunger and empty the contents into John's arm, but it was worth it as soon as he became more compliant to the point that he actually was starting to look confused. Before he had a chance to ask any questions though, John passed out leaving the others wondering what had just happened.

"I didn't give him that much!" Bobby insisted as he looked at the label on the side of the cylinder. "This shouldn't have done anything more than loosen him up a bit."

"That's not a good sign Bobby." Sam said as he walked into the room. He could hear the commotion as soon as he walked in the door. Luckily he hadn't had any visitors waiting on him; that wouldn't have been a pleasant conversation. Feeling the need to once again look over his patient, he took the standard vital signs and became more concerned the further he got into it. Reaching behind him he took another vial out of a drawer and immediately drew the blood, walking quickly out of the room without uttering a sound.

"Well what do you think that was about?" Joshua asked as everyone collapsed into a chair.

"Looks like one of prissy Sammy's tantrum's to me, I'm surprised you're not used to them by now." Dean smirked, not expecting the reaction he got.

Bobby was rushing towards Dean when Caleb and Joshua intercepted him and pushed him towards the other side of the room. Seeing the danger he allowed himself to get maneuvered into, Dean immediately started to plot a way out. There as no way he was going to let them keep him from taking care of his dad his way, not anymore.

"Damn fool… thinks he knows everything just like his daddy." Bobby growled out before he turned towards Dean again. "You think you know everything? Well how about explaining how the great and mighty John Winchester was fooled by a bunch of lowly demons." Seeing the puzzled look on Dean's face, he ignored the warnings from the others and barreled through. "Do you really think that he had no idea what was going on...that you two stumbled across something bigger than what you thought? Well let me tell you something boy, you're daddy knew exactly what he was getting into but thought he could handle it without help… and he dragged you right into it!"


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I want to thank everyone who has not only reviewed but taken the time to read up to now. To the person who sent an anonymous review... feel free to PM me with any comments, I welcome questions to motives and even concerns towards plot lines. Thanks again everyone... I hope this one lives up to the majority's expectations! Take care... see you all soon!

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Dean had no idea what to think about what Bobby said, and he continued to stare at the older man a few moments before he walked back to John and carefully watched over him. His feelings had been more than a little conflicted since running back into his brother especially with the feeling that he'd been missing something huge along the way. However, he was determined not to let his dad down, especially with everything they'd been through. They might not be able to bring his mother back to life, but the two of them together had managed to save a lot of people and get rid of a bunch of evil creatures along the way. No, he wasn't just going to ignore the lessons his dad had taught him, that he and others should pay attention and not ignore the signs around them. Right now, he might have questions about his brother, but he was willing to ignore them as long as there were other things to deal with; mainly how to help his father break away from the demons that infected him.

Sam walked into the room noting that the other hunters were in the living area debating something that he didn't even want to deal with. It was bad enough that he hadn't had a chance to face the date earlier in the week, but now the others were determined to go at it no matter what he thought. As he watched Dean though, he couldn't help but wonder how different things could have been if they had stayed together many years ago, but then he felt nauseous at the thought. He had spent too many years trying to push the others away and dealing with their reactions when he had made his own choices along the way, and it was definitely something that he really didn't want to think about since he still felt it was his past actions that helped to contribute to his Jess' death.

"There's no improvement at the moment, but it doesn't look like its getting worse." Sam said softly as he watched Dean's face tighten. He wasn't sure what to do about the situation but he was hopeful that he could find a way to give Dean a break.

As he stood watching, Dean couldn't help but wonder if Sam was really doing the best he could to find out a way to help find a cure, or if this was some sort of sick payback. Unable to read the man on the other side of his dad, he didn't like putting his family's fate in someone else's hands, especially someone he didn't fully trust.

"Ok then…" Dean began, unsure exactly how to do what he wanted. "How about giving me a hand with him."

Puzzled, Sam looked over at Dean and wondered what he was talking about, but seeing his brother already taking the IV out and pulling their dad into a sitting position he suddenly understood. "Dean, you can't move him. We have no idea what's going on, and what if he gets violent while you're driving?" he asked, hoping to talk some sense into the other man.

"Look Sam, you just admitted that whatever it is that you're doing isn't working. I'm not going to stand here and watch you use him as a guinea pig, so either help me get him into the Impala or get out of the way." Dean said as he continued to maneuver the older man into a better position.

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing much less seeing. "You can't just take him Dean, he needs help, just because I don't have an answer right now, doesn't mean I won't!"

Glaring at his brother, Dean was about to ask what right Sam thought he had when he heard a groan coming from the man to his side. Surprised, he looked over and saw his dad waking up. Looking at Sam, he wondered which version they were about to deal with.

"Dean? What's going on?" John asked as he looked around the room before settling his gaze upon Sam. "Ah… let me guess, you called Bobby."

Feeling the disappointment from his dad, Dean was about to apologize when Sam jumped in. "You were infected with a virus, Dean did what he had to do to keep you alive. The question is… do you want to stay here and give it a shot, or do you want to risk killing Dean during one of your rampages?" Sam asked, truly wondering how far his father's obsession had gone.

"You really think you can help?" John asked, groaning at the headache that seemed to crush his skull. He took a moment to look around the room and noted that it hadn't changed since the last time he was here, although he knew that Sam had no idea that he had been there more than once.

Confused, Dean wondered about the change in attitude coming from his father, but decided that the man knew what he was doing; after all, he'd gotten them this far.

"I can try. This is a different strain from what I've seen before, but I'm willing to do what I can. The question is, do you trust me enough to let me." Sam stated as he watched the older man closely.

Looking at Dean, John nodded. "Hey Ace, how about you leave the two of us alone for a bit."

Seeing that it wasn't a request, Dean turned towards the door and paused only for a moment before walking into the hallway and close the door quietly behind him.

"So, I take it you already know." John said firmly, not willing to look at Sam but instead kept his eyes towards the door where Dean had gone through.

"Yeah, I know. Why didn't you tell us, didn't you think that was something we needed to know?" Sam asked as he helped John lay back down.

"Honestly? No, I didn't." John said before he looked at Sam. "So how'd you find out?"

Sam sighed before running his hands through his hair. "Bobby. He figured that I wouldn't be safe if I didn't know what I was dealing with. He was pretty upset with you for keeping us in the dark about so much. Is that why it was so easy leaving me with Jim?"

"Sam." John growled, making it known exactly how much he didn't want to have this conversation. "Look, either fix me up, or don't but I'm not going to go over something that has nothing to do with what's going on right now."

A bark of laughter erupted from Sam's mouth as he wondered just how much he was going to let this man get to him. It made no sense why after so long, he was still affected by his father's opinion. "Fine, let's make a deal. You and Dean stay here for a couple of days. If there doesn't seem to be any improvement, then you both can leave and do what whatever you want. You need to stay in here where I can continue to monitor you, and occasionally I'll have to sedate you because of the outbursts but…"

"Wait… what outbursts?" John asked, clearly confused about what Sam was talking about.

"You become influenced by the virus and start attacking people. So far no one's been hurt, but I can't let anyone else become infected, so I've been trying to keep you unconscious while I run some tests."

"Damn it! We wouldn't be in this mess if Dean had followed orders!"

"Let me guess what those orders were… kill you?" Sam asked, knowing that that would have been his father's mentality. "You know he'd rather kill himself before he did that. Why would you ask him to do it?"

"I'm not going to turn into something we hunt. Now if you don't have any idea how to stop it, then get out of the way so I can take care of it myself."

Knowing that the man before him was serious, Sam did the only thing he could think of; sedated him once again, ignoring the curses being tossed his way. Satisfied that his patient was sleeping, he quickly restrained him in hopes that it would hold while he checked on the others. Somehow he knew that this was just the beginning and they all were going to be in for a very long night.

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Dean hated being dismissed as if he didn't have a say in what happened, but then again he'd been getting used to having his opinion ignored for awhile. Actually it wasn't often that his opinion differed from his dad, but when it did it would be nice if every once in awhile his ideas were at least noticed.

Frustrated, he walked around the first floor of the clinic and took note how Sam had tried to keep a sort of homey feel to it, probably since it was a small town and he wanted people to feel comfortable. The magazines that were laid out were actually fairly new, surprising him since all he'd ever seen were year old copies in whatever waiting room he'd had to visit. Then again it shouldn't surprise him since it was Sam he was talking about, Mr. Anal-About-Everything. Making his way into the kitchen separate from the clinic, he saw Jim sitting at the table nursing the bruising on his face. As he walked in he noticed the quiet throughout the building and wondered about it.

"The others went to see if they could get Bobby to cool off. Somehow I think its going to take more than a walk to get that accomplished." Jim said kindly as he motioned to the coffee pot. "How's John doing?"

"I don't know, he woke up then wanted to talk to Sam." Dean said brusquely as he reached for a mug from the cabinet. "What are you reading?" he asked, seeing what looked to be a magazine of some sort in front of the pastor, even though he could distinctly remember the man only reading books, claiming that magazines 'didn't have the same intellectual stimulation.'

Jim looked at Dean for a moment gauging the younger man's mood before swinging the magazine around towards him. He watched as Dean's expression changed from puzzlement to anger to curiosity.

Taking the magazine, Dean stared at it for a moment before he started to read the article by none other than Dr. Samuel Singer about the benefits of folk remedies vs. fad medicine. He was almost half way through when something started to bother him about it. He'd always known his brother to be very articulate and precise when writing a paper for school and it looked like he continued that while writing this article, but something kept niggling at the back of his brain and he couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him so much.

"You can imagine he hasn't made too many friends in the pharmaceutical area." Jim said casually as he continued to watch the younger man. He could tell Dean was wresting with something, but couldn't figure out what it could be.

Dean read the whole page twice before he suddenly looked at Jim. "What exactly happened after Dad and I left?"

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Bobby was still ticked off and it didn't look like he was going to be able to calm down anytime soon causing the others to worry that he would do something he would regret later. Caleb tried to keep an eye out for visitors while Joshua tried to calm down the mechanic, knowing that it wouldn't be an easy task.

"I can't believe this!" Bobby growled as he once again tried to head back to the house, immediately being stopped by Joshua. "Dammit, get out of the way."

"No Bobby, you need to calm down before you do more any more damage." Joshua said calmly. He knew how the other man felt, but it wasn't going to do anyone any good for everything to be brought out into the open right now. In fact there were things that he prayed would never be brought to light, but somehow he knew that it was only a matter of time and he was concerned about Dean's reaction.

"Move Josh, I'm going back in there. Sam doesn't need to be alone with them right now."

"Jim's in there Bobby so calm down. You know as well as I do that nothing's going to happen to Sam." Joshua said as he continued to block Bobby's way. "Sam isn't going to do anything stupid, you need to trust that."

Deflated, Bobby knew that his friend was right, Sam wasn't going to hurt himself and he wouldn't allow anyone else to hurt him either. Feeling better, Bobby nodded and relaxed, hoping that he hadn't made a huge mistake by bringing John and Dean to Sam.

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Jim had no idea what Dean was talking about and stared at the younger man for a moment before he shook his head. "What are you asking Dean?"

"You know what I mean. What happened after we left… did Sam have a party, did he have a hissy fit… what?" Dean practically exclaimed, not taking his eyes off the man in front of him. "You seem to know him so damn well… what happened?"

"You mean after it took us two days to find him?" Jim asked. "We finally found him at the bluffs, and it still took quite a bit of convincing to get him to come back with us… we still haven't figured out why exactly."

Dean thought about that a moment and wondered about it. He and his little brother had a spot at the bluffs they would always go to when they wanted to be by themselves. They had considered it their own secret hiding place and often went there when they knew they were in trouble for something. "It took two days to find him? That's it? Did he run off again later or what?"

Puzzled, Jim shook his head. "Not in the meaning you're thinking. We knew where he was at all times, even when he was doing things that he shouldn't have been. It was tense for awhile, but we were finally able to get him to focus on something and, even though it still wasn't easy, it was better than what it was."

"So a week after we left, he was with you?" Dean asked carefully, trying to ignore the itch he had to pull out the letter from his wallet.

Nodding, Jim watched Dean as the other man started to get agitated. Before he could find out what was going on however, Dean rushed out of the kitchen without a word.

Sam was in the hallway and nearly collided with Dean. As both of them stared at each other it became obvious that each of them had questions but neither of them knew where to start. Finally, Dean pulled Sam into the large living area.

"How's Dad?" he asked, hoping for some good news for once.

"Sedated. He was talking about offing himself so you wouldn't have to do it. I figured it was best for now."

Nodding, Dean had to agree. Funny how he didn't have a problem putting a bullet in the head of the possessed if it came down to it, but when it came to his own father he'd fight it every step of the way. "Yeah, ok… look… I don't know what's going on, but I need some answers and it looks like the only way I'm going to get them is to ask you."

Shocked, Sam took a step back. "Why now? And why me? You can get the same answers talking to Dad, right?"

"Damn it Sam, normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass, but this has gone on long enough. I want some answers!" Dean demanded as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and holding the folded letter out to Sam. "Starting with this!"


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I hope you all like this one, don't forget to let me know...

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Startled, Sam looked at the worn folded page in Dean's hand and wondered how things could come full circle so easily. He knew he didn't really know what was in his brother's hand, but the situation struck him so similar that he could barely contain his laugh.

_Walking in the front door of his garage apartment, Sam was tired, moody and definitely not in the mood for visitors; not that it mattered since at any given moment in time he could have one or all of his 'family' show up unannounced. Dropping his backpack onto the floor, he crossed the room to the fridge and hoped that they had at least stocked it up while they were at it. _

"'_Bout damn time boy, you have any idea how long we've been waiting?" Bobby growled as he, Joshua, Caleb and Jim walked in from the only bedroom in the apartment. _

"_My guess is too long?" Sam shot back, ignoring the brusque tone and going back to digging into the food that he was sure was Joshua's idea. So intent on making himself a sandwich he wasn't prepared for the slap against the side of his head effectively making the other side hit the freezer door. "Hey!" he shouted as he whirled around and faced Bobby who looked angrier than Sam could ever remember seeing him._

"_Don't 'Hey!' me you idgit! What the hell is the meaning of this?" Bobby demanded as he held out a piece of paper firmly clenched in his fist. "Well boy, you become deaf, or did you think we wouldn't find out?"_

_As Sam stared at the men in front of him, he couldn't figure out what had them all upset, and then it hit him. Groaning, he took the page and quickly scanned it. "It's not what it looks like…"_

"_So you're not failing every class, it's just a misunderstanding, right Sam? Because I have to tell you that from the looks of it, if you don't pull your head out of your ass right now and bring a decent grade in from mid-terms, then they're going to toss you out on your ear!" Bobby continued as he glared at the boy in front of him._

_Jim stepped forward and held up his hand to try to calm the situation. "Sam, if you're having trouble, or if this all too much, then you can tell us and we'll try to find a situation suitable for everyone."_

_Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, Sam looked around and hoped that he could find a way out of this without completely letting them down. Seeing Caleb's gaze track to his backpack he knew that he was about to be found out, and that wasn't going to bode well for him. "Uh… I've just been a little sidetracked, that's all. I'll make sure I ace the mid-term, will that make you happy?" He asked, while hoping that it not only made everyone happy but they would leave before finding out what he'd been doing. _

_Seeing how tense Sam was becoming, Caleb reached over and picked up the backpack, unceremoniously dumping its contents onto the small coffee table, and instantly finding what he was looking for. Looking up from it, he stared directly into guilty eyes and asked, "Care to explain this?"_

Admittedly, it was funny now, but at the time the whole situation had him sweating bullets. The agreement was that he would be able to attend the University of San Francisco without a whole battalion of hunters on site as long as he kept from hunting alone and kept his grades up. That first semester had been a major adjustment and looking upon it now, he understood their fear and how hard it actually had been for all of them to allow him to attempt to stand on his own two feet; especially after the summer he'd had.

Now though, he was staring at a crumpled piece of paper in his brother's hand and had a feeling that it had nothing to do with a Warning of Possible Failure. Puzzled he reached out to take it when the sound of a car horn broke the silence and sent him rushing towards the front door.

Dean watched the flicker of something on Sam's face and wondered about it, but before he could actually comment, the sound of a car horn caused his brother to rush off as if hell hounds were on his ass. Feeling no other recourse, he chased after him through the front door and stopped suddenly when he comprehended what he was seeing.

A small Ford Escort was stopped against the porch of the house/clinic with a small child working her way out from behind the wheel. It would have been comical except for the words the little girl were shouting and the crying coming from the front seat.

"Dr.SamDr.Samdaddygotdrunkagainandwouldn'tstopandmommy'sbleedingandthebaby'scomingandIputDavidinthecarandhelpedmommyinthebackandIdrovejustlikeyoutaughtme!"

Sam was already in the backseat when the little girl paused to take a breath, but before she began again, Sam looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"You did good Addie, real good. Now I need you to be a big girl for me and take David into the kitchen and help me eat all those cookies that Mrs. Shultz brought, ok?" Sam asked, then as soon as he saw Addie nod he turned back to the woman under his care. "Brenda? Hey, Bren… can you hear me?"

Dean looked on as Sam tried to get a response from the bleeding woman. He might not have a lot of experience with pregnant women, but he was pretty sure they weren't supposed to be bleeding from… uh… _there_. "Sam?" Dean asked, not knowing what to do, but hoping that something could be done for this mass of bruises under the care of his brother.

"Easy Brenda, I got you." Sam said softly as he cradled her close and eased her out of the car. "Dean, get the door!"

As they both rushed into the clinic, neither one cared about any unfinished business they had, their one concern instantly turned towards the woman and baby who's lives rested in their hands.

Settling Brenda onto an exam table, Sam already knew what was going to happen if they didn't act quickly, however he still had protocol to follow. Quickly taking the vital signs of the mother, he noted them quickly before turning his attention to the unborn baby. His fears confirmed he knew that every second counted and he only had two hands. Hoping Dean was otherwise occupied he quickly brought a tray over and quickly laid out his instruments as he pictured in his mind talking to the trauma team in Sioux Falls. As the call connected, he was already starting the C-Section and as the call was finally answered, Sam saw the horrendous damage.

"This is Dr. Samuel Singer; I have a twenty-eight year old female in her third trimester with hemorrhaging due to repeated blunt force trauma. I need a Life Flight sent to my location with a neo-natal unit on board. Notify team that emergency C-Section is in progress."

"_Roger that, we have a team en route ETA 20 minutes, neonatal unit is already on board."_

"Thank you."

As Sam cut the call he focused all of his energy on his two patients and doing whatever it took to take care of them. It didn't take long to deliver the small baby, but without the appropriate equipment, he was concerned of his chances. Swaddling the infant, he quickly suctioned the fluids out of his mouth and nose before securing him on top of his mother's chest; at least that way the child could hear his mother's heartbeat.

Setting his focus back to stop the internal injuries, Sam was totally oblivious to what was happening behind him.

Dean watched as Sam talked on the speakerphone instructing a helicopter to come and transport the woman and her new baby. Funny how he didn't remember seeing Sam dial the phone on the wall or hit the speaker button, but then again he had other things to occupy his mind like how anyone so small could be that injured but still be alive. That though stuck with him until the baby was born and he witnessed something that he knew he couldn't dismiss – small towels floating towards Sam as he started to tend to the baby in his arms.

Instantly reaching for his gun, he was surprised to hear a similar click behind him and a growl in his ear. "Don't even think about it."

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Joshua and Bobby knew that something was going on as soon as they saw the small car barreling towards the clinic, but they hadn't been prepared to see little Addie climbing out of the driver's seat and yelling to anyone who would listen. Knowing that Sam was about to have his hands full, they both decided to get inside and make sure that John was still secure and that Jim had left plenty of cookies.

Meeting up with Caleb, they hurried through the back door and double checked the protection charms innocuously placed while they made their way first to the separate exam room then to the kitchen. It wasn't too much longer before a nine year old little girl walked inside while holding onto her three year old brother's hand. Although the men weren't strangers around town, they weren't known as regular visitors either and none knew how their presence would be received.

As Addie looked around she saw the plate full of cookies and instantly led her brother to it. As she helped him into a chair, she grabbed two off the plate and said simply, "Dr. Sam said we could."

Smiling, the hunters nodded while Jim pushed the plate closer to the little girl. As they watched, she made sure that the little toddler had a continuous stream of cookies in each hand while she sat content in nibbling on hers until it became crumbs causing the hunters to smile once again at such a sight.

The sound of a baby crying caused every head in the room to turn towards the door. Not sure if any extra hands were needed, Joshua motioned for everyone else to stay while he checked on the situation.

As Joshua quietly made his way down the hall he couldn't help but wonder about the situation they all found themselves in, which led to concern on how they were going to deal with it. Approaching the exam room he saw Dean at the doorway but before he could call out a greeting he saw the other man reach for his gun as the base of his back. Without hesitation he closed the distance while cocking his own semi-automatic and gave a warning from deep within him to leave no doubt what he'd be willing to do. "Don't even think about it."

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The sound of the helicopter leaving brought Sam out of his thoughts as he watched from his side yard the disappearing view of the Life Flight quickly transporting Brenda and her brand new baby boy. Sighing, he turned to go back inside but thought better of it. Even thought the temperature was dropping, he suddenly felt more welcome outside than he did in his own home.

Dean hated being surrounded, and right now was no exception. As he looked around he saw the people who had once been friends, people that both he and his dad would have trusted with their lives. But now he was starting to see what the big secret was, why no one had gone out of their way to try and keep in touch; they were protecting Sam, and he didn't even want to think what that meant.

"Dean, you need to listen. There are things that you don't know, things that your father wouldn't have told you but you need to know so you can be better prepared." Jim said calmly, praying that it wasn't too late to mend a broken family.

"Yeah, I can see why Dad wouldn't mention that Sam's one of those freaks! Do you know that we ran into a couple of them? One was a homicidal maniac and the other could control people with his mind, either way, they needed to be taken care of. It's not pleasant but you used to know what's at stake… people's lives!" Dean exclaimed, not caring if he scared the kids that were now in the larger living area, all he knew was his dad's treatment was determined by the very thing that they hunted, brother or no brother.

"You think we've forgotten that boy?" Bobby demanded before running his hand through his hair. "If you know everything, how did your daddy and I meet?"

Stunned for a moment, Dean could only stare at the older man as if he were out of his mind. Looking at the others, he settled on Caleb who seemed to be amused at the whole situation. "What's so funny?"

Caleb shrugged his shoulders before answering casually. "You're so determined to classify your brother as some big bad evil thing, that you have no idea how much he's actually done. I for one am happy he's the way he is, if for no other reason than I'm alive because of it." Seeing the genuine puzzlement on Dean's face he smiled. "While you and John were playing Colt tag with a bunch of demon spawn, Sam was warning me and Jim here that they'd upped the ante and could cross sacred ground. Definitely put a whole other spin to what we thought we were dealing with. Of course your dad knows all about it, so it shouldn't be that much of a surprise to you."

Dean glared at the men around him before demanding, "What are you talking about? We haven't talked to any of you in eight years, right after you made your decision about hiding Sammy!"

Bobby laughed a moment before he shook his head. "Just because your daddy don't share what he knows, doesn't mean he doesn't know it. After your momma died he was a mess and started looking for answers, that landed him in the company of a psychic by the name of Missouri. The two of them found out that something was after certain children and it didn't care what it had to do to get them, either then or now. Later Missouri brokered a meeting between me and John and the rest I guess is history."

"I suggest you talk to Sam, he knows about a lot of this since we didn't have any reason to hide it from him. We're not saying he took it well, but he's at least wrapped his head around it." Joshua said as he looked out the window and watched Sam sit on the frigid grass and stare out towards nothing as if the ether had all the answers.

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Sam couldn't seem to concentrate and he knew it was because of what almost happened inside the clinic. He hadn't wanted to believe it at first, but then he remembered that Dean had been trained by their father and that meant that if it was supernatural you killed it. Sighing, he had just stood when he sensed the person behind him.

"You really were going to do it." He said quietly, no accusation in his voice, just fact.

"Yeah, well you have to admit it is something that can throw a person off their game." Dean said as he looked at Sam's back. He really wanted to be able to turn back the clock and start fresh from before the time that his family had been split apart, but he knew that would never happen so he had to deal with what he had now, unfortunately he had no idea what to do with it. "So, Dad went to a psychic?" he asked casually, hoping to find out something useful while trying to ignore the itch he had to pull his gun.

"Yeah, Missouri. She's the one who helped him figure out that something big was happening." Sam said as he turned to look at Dean. "You saw me and thought I was either possessed or something that needed to die."

Smirking, Dean had no real answer except, "Yeah well, you go with what you've been taught."

"Maybe we were taught wrong." Sam said sadly before he sat on the bumper of his Bronco. "Dean, I know you're angry with me, and that's fine, just don't judge me without knowing me, that's all I ask."

Not sure what to say, Dean looked around. "So, you know it was a demon that killed Mom."

Sam nodded while taking a deep breath. "Yeah, and not much can kill him, he's at least a midlevel demon. When did you find out?"

"Not too long ago. You know how Dad is…"

"Need to know!" Both Sam and Dean said simultaneously.

Chuckling, Sam stood once again. "You wanted me to see something." After watching Dean pull the page out once again he hesitantly looked it over before looking at Dean then back at the page. "I didn't write this Dean. I could go into detail about how I'd put more structure in the note or how I wouldn't leave you hanging like that, but you already suspected that didn't you?"

"It looks like your handwriting Sam, how do you answer to that?" Dean demanded as he ripped the page back.

Sam shook his head and smiled wanly. "We both know at least half dozen hunters who could pull that off without breaking a sweat." Walking away from his brother, Sam started to make his way back to the house before he called back. "You know; if you still think you need to kill me to save mankind Dean, go ahead… you'll be putting me out of my misery."


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I hope you all like this one... sorry its taken so long, had some problems with a dental procedure then another migraine to deal with. Take care!

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Dean stood and watched the back of his little brother move away from him before disappearing through the door of the clinic, leaving him once again alone to his own thoughts. He didn't like what he had found out in the last half hour; in fact it would be fair to say that the new information that was handed to him actually pissed him off; if it was true. That was the problem though, how do you trust people who you haven't seen in so long and have obviously kept more than just a few important things from him. Pushing that thought back a bit he ran the whole conversation through his mind and came up with the same issues over and over again. First and foremost was his dad knew what was going on with Sammy from the very beginning, and wasn't that a kick in the crotch. If everything he was told was true, then he really needed some time to figure this out because it would mean that his father had tossed his little brother to the wolves eight years ago and who knew what would have happened if the others hadn't stepped in.

Looking around to the quickly darkening sky, Dean wondered how far he could get with the gas he had already in the tank. It seemed like everyone else could just walk away without caring about anyone else, maybe it was his turn to do the same. Growling in frustration, he jammed his hands back in his pockets and made his way inside, he needed answers first and he could only think of one place to get them.

Sam watched Dean from a window and saw the conflicting emotions that passed over his brother's face. He knew that this whole situation wasn't fair, but he had no idea what to do about it. Sighing, he turned away from the window as he saw Dean walk back towards the house; he still had two exam rooms to clean up before straightening the bedroom for his two new guests. Making a quick call to the Sherriff, he let the older man know what had happened and that Brenda's kids would be fine with him for the night, then he got down to business and took his frustrations and fears out on the blood on the floor and equipment that he relied so much upon.

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Dean stood by his father's side and waited until he saw the older green eyes look at him. Not sure which version he was watching, he waited until finally he heard the very familiar voice speaking to him as if nothing out of the ordinary was occurring.

"Hey Ace, how ya feeling?"

Staring at the man in front of him, Dean took a moment to take in the scene and could honestly say he didn't like it one bit. The restraints being used were a combination of soft straps along the chest, arms and legs, with handcuffs around the wrists anchored underneath the bed. Under any other situation he would have burst in with guns blazing putting bullets into anyone who dared to do this to his father, but now he was standing by allowing it to happen all because he hadn't been quick enough to get through a damn door to prevent the whole situation from happening.

"How long have you known about Sam?" he asked, not really wanting the answer because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to believe it. As he watched his dad close his eyes and take a deep breath he suddenly felt the bottom of his stomach drop and he knew. "Since this whole mess started? You knew after Mom died?" he asked unbelievingly.

"Dean, it's not that simple. Yes I found out that something came after your brother and other children, but I didn't know what… not until years later and by that time, well let's just say Sammy and I weren't seeing eye to eye on things by then."

"By then, or was it because of what you found out?" Dean demanded, suddenly feeling as if a huge piece of a very large puzzle had just been put into place. "Is that why you forged that note from Sammy, pretended that he's the one who abandoned us, that everyone turned their back on us? It was you all this time and I just stood there accepting what you said because I was supposed to!" he exclaimed, allowing the fear and frustrations from the past eight years to come forward and once he started he was finding it very hard to stop. "All those times you'd disappear, you weren't just researching another hunt before we tackled it, you were keeping an eye on Sammy and you didn't want to get caught! What… you thought you'd catch him in the act of doing something… what…evil? All this talk about saving people and you're the one who turned your back on someone who needed us the most…"

"HE KILLED SOMEONE DEAN!" John screamed back effectively stopping Dean's barrage of questions and accusations. "He's not as innocent that you seem to think and the sooner you see that the better. As soon as I get over this we're out of here and the first thing we're going to do is make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else. You got me?"

Dean stared at the man he had followed for so long, the man he had looked up to and wondered what the hell had just happened, and then he saw something flicker in those eyes that he'd memorized when he was just a small boy in Lawrence. "You're not him." He said softly as he shook his head. "I have to admit you almost had me, but you still have a lot to learn."

John laughed harshly before he started to struggle with his bonds. "You think you know that brother of yours? Ask him about the man he killed, and you'll see that you don't know him at all. You'll see that he has a destiny to fulfill and you won't be able to stop it, then what are you going to do? Ask him about Azazel, ask him about good old yellow eyes!" he demanded with glee as he saw the horror flash across Dean's face before he went slack once again seemingly aware of his surroundings as the human host.

"Dean? What the hell?" John asked as he looked around again as if just now seeing the room he'd been in. "Damn… so you know?"

Surprised, Dean just shook his head. "Apparently not, want to fill me in, 'cause I have to say that the versions I'm getting doesn't put us in a very good light."

John gave a slight smirk before he nodded defeated. "Yeah ok, you deserve to know what's going on, if for no other reason than to be better prepared. The thing that killed your mother is a demon and he's been putting together an army for quite awhile now. He tries to get special children, psychics really, to turn to him and from what I've been able to tell he'll do anything he can to make it happen, even drive the kid insane if necessary." He said while looking up at the ceiling and prayed that he didn't have to burden his son with this. All the years he'd put into trying to keep Dean out of it, and now he was tossing him headlong into it. "The ones we ran into, Max Miller and that Andy kid, they're just a few of a longer list who usually comes into their power around their twenty second birthday. I know that not all the kids lost a parent on their six month birthday, and I'm still trying to figure out the significance of it."

Dean waved off his father's words before he pulled out the letter. "That I've already figured out on my own… while we were in the middle of hunting them! How about why'd you make me think that Sammy left us… left _me_?" he demanded as he waved the letter in front of his dad's face.

"Dean you have to understand, one way or another he was going to get us killed! His head was always somewhere else, and with the new information I was getting he was an even bigger liability to have around." John said as he tried to plead his case. "Look, once I got rid of this demon I was planning on getting all of us back together, but until then…"

"No Dad, quit lying… you'd always find something to hunt, always find something to blame Sammy for. These are your issues, and you dragged me into them. Do you know how that had to feel for him, knowing that the one person he could always count on turned his back on him? Do you?"

"You have to understand Dean, it was either turn away from him or lose the both of you and I couldn't allow that. So yeah, maybe I did turn my back on him but…"

"NOT YOU…ME! Not everything revolves around you Dad! God! You really think what you did was for the best… and that just shows how delusional you really are. I stood up for you when you'd miss a birthday, parent teacher conferences, or when I'd have to hustle someone for food… hell, I even made excuses for you when you didn't show up for his Graduation! How many sixteen year olds do you know graduate High School… especially with as much moving around as we do? Did you ever once tell him you were proud of him, or maybe give him any indication that he was good enough even for a moment? No… that was on me, so don't sit there and tell me how you had the tough choices to make, 'cause you know what… that's crap! You wanted to do what you want and Sammy was in the way so you cut him loose. I just wish I'd seen it sooner, it would have saved us all a lot of pain."

John watched Dean walk out the room and wondered if he'd well and truly lost both sons this time.

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There was no use in pretending that they didn't hear the yelling, the walls might be thick, but they weren't _that_ thick. So now as Dean entered the kitchen, the other hunters could only sit and watch as he poured a cup of coffee then slam it down on the counter splashing the contents everywhere. It was his question though that threw them off guard.

"How much does Sam know?"

Jim had known this was going to happen, but he'd been hoping that they'd be able to avoid it. Finally though he knew it was time to get the rest out in the open. "Most of it. You have to understand Dean, after you and your father left, Sam lost all respect for himself. He truly believed every harsh word that your father said and took it all to heart. He couldn't understand what he did wrong and no amount of telling him it wasn't his doing was convincing him, so we did what we thought was best… we told him about the demon and the children and what we thought was coming. I won't say he took it calmly, in fact it was quite the opposite."

Dean looked at the hunters and had to wonder what they had been thinking, but then who was he to judge, he'd taken a piece of paper with his brother's name on it and took it as gospel truth effectively doing in that one moment what their father had been doing for years; abandoning Sammy. "You keep saying that he didn't take it well and that he'd 'done things that he shouldn't', so how about you tell me what's really been going on?"

The sound of a chair being pushed back brought everyone's attention to Caleb who looked like he was ready to plow his fist into something solid. "How about you tell us why you suddenly care?" Ignoring the objections of both Jim and Joshua, he continued. "You made your decision Dean, now you need to deal with it. You weren't there when that kid thought he was nothing but wasted air; that everyone would be better off if he didn't exist. Every damn word that came out of John's mouth was pounded into him until he couldn't tell the difference between what was crap and what was really staring him in the face. You were the only person who made him feel like he mattered, and you did exactly what your daddy said you'd do – you left! So don't come walking in here demanding answers, you lost that right a long time ago."

Puzzled, Dean could only stare at Caleb and wonder what else he'd been missing. Up until that fateful day in Blue Earth, he'd never dreamed of leaving Sammy anywhere. Now he was being told that his little brother had actually been expecting him to do it? It was more than just a little bit unsettling and if he was completely honest with himself he knew that once again he probably had his dad to thank for it. Before he could ask anything else though, the object of their discussion came rushing in looking as if he was ready to do battle.

"Damn it, do you think you can keep it down? I have two small children upstairs scared out of their minds and none of you are helping any!" Sam hissed out, obviously at the end of his rope with the whole situation. "Caleb sit down and finish your coffee, Dean sit down and eat something, and the rest of you do what you do best… there's a damn vengeful spirit about to go on a rampage and somehow I don't think the newlywed's are going to know how to deal with it." Before they had another chance to say anything he glared at them all and left as suddenly as he came but not before he called out over his shoulder. "I've been called in to cover a short shift at the hospital; I'll take another sample there. Those kids better be alright when I get back!"

Dean stared at the others and shook his head. "Uh… what just happened?" he asked as he saw Jim and Bobby get up from the table.

"Obviously Sam had a vision and since he has his hands full he's passing it off to us. Joshua and Caleb will stay here and make sure that John behaves himself and that the children are taken care of while we take care of it." Jim said sadly before he looked at the others. "I just hope its not beginning again; he doesn't need that right now."

"Need what?" Dean asked, now getting concerned that they knew something he didn't yet again about his brother.

"The kid can't say 'no'. Usually it's no big deal, but sometimes… well let's just say the end result can get a little messy."

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Dean had stayed up throughout the night, only taking a small nap when it was his turn. Caleb and Joshua encouraged him to sleep in between the times of keeping watch over the clinic and his father. He had hated to have to do it, but once it was explained that Sam had a knack of knowing when something supernatural was getting close and with him gone they needed to be prepared, he was all for it. The kids were sleeping soundly in the full sized bed upstairs that Dean had planned on taking for his own, but he didn't begrudge them that small comfort; he only hoped that their mother and baby brother was doing fine.

During one of his midnight wanderings, he saw a pattern of his brother and knew that he was seeing a piece of him that the others already knew, his brother still felt with his whole heart. There were pictures around the clinic of different townspeople in various stages of celebration or just every day happenings, but each one had a small label on the frame explaining who it was and where and why it was taken. It was obvious how much Sam really cared about these people and wondered how different things would be for him if they knew what he really was.

Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his face with his hand and knew he wasn't being fair. It wasn't as if Sammy had asked, at the age of six months, to have a demon rip through his life, but it still didn't change the fact that a demon did exactly that and they all had paid for it dearly. Now, years later, Sam was the very something that they had hunted. Well… that he and his dad had hunted. There had never been shades of grey before, always black and white… either it was supernatural or it wasn't, if it was it was just a matter of time for it to have to be put down. Now he was facing a whole other side of the spectrum. Not only did his father know a true psychic, but apparently had befriended one, making him wonder if maybe the whole reasoning behind what they did was wrong or at least a little misshapen.

Now he was getting himself confused. He couldn't allow himself to change his whole life's thinking just because he was being told something that could either or not be true. And even he knew that a decision like this should never be made on an empty stomach with only two hours sleep under the belt. Bleary eyed he watched the lightening of the grey clouds and new that it was definitely going to be a cold dreary day, but at least he'd made it to see another one and with that he was thankful. He'd seen the worn faces of both Bobby and Jim as they had stumbled in earlier in the night. Apparently the spirit that they had to deal with wasn't too keen on the idea of first sharing her fiancé, then their house, but then being told to move on was just too much and she wasn't going to go peacefully. From what little they said, it had been close, but they finally got it done with minimal damage to the couple but probably a total loss to the house. Thinking about that actually made him more thankful that he didn't have a permanent home to go to. Why try to build up something that was only going to be ripped away?

The sound of Sam's Bronco getting closer pulled him out of his thoughts and he couldn't help but wonder if his brother had managed even an hour's sleep. Seeing the look on his face, it was evident that the answer would be no. Seeing the folder in Sam's hand he could only hope that it held good news and that this whole mess would be over with soon. He needed to get out of this place and deal with the new information that had been shoved down his throat before he exploded. Turning away from the window he started towards the kitchen to try and down the sludge that Joshua claimed to be coffee. He was half way down the hall when it occurred to him that he still hadn't heard the Bronco's door shut, and that Sam hadn't gotten to the porch yet. Curious, he slowly made his way back knowing that it was going to make him out to be some sort of girl for making such a big deal about nothing. He had just made it back into the larger living area when he saw a glimpse of his brother hit the ground and some guy standing over him ready for another swing.

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Sam really hated times like this. In his hand was the answer he'd been dancing around ever since Bobby and Caleb had brought his visitors to him, and it was an answer that wasn't going to be well received. It had always amazed him how sometimes in medicine you had to make the person worse before you could make them better. It was a conundrum that he'd never liked much less appreciated and even now was more than a little thankful that he hadn't gotten into Oncology, he just didn't have the stomach for it. Of course the irony of that was he had gotten into trauma medicine instead, making him responsible for some extremely difficult decisions in extremely critical times, not all of them popular.

Seeing his home, his new life's work, come into view he could only feel a sense of relief that he'd been able to accomplish something good. Brenda was recovering fine and was already demanding to see her new baby and the number of a good divorce attorney, and her baby boy would be fine as long as his vital signs continued to stay stable. He knew that the Sheriff would be along sometime after breakfast to pick up Addie and David to take them to their Aunt and Uncle's on the other side of town, but for right now they could all have something to eat and hopefully the kids wouldn't be too traumatized from the events that landed them in his care.

As he got out of the vehicle he really wished he hadn't worked last night, but was still glad he had the results he had in his hand. It might not be popular, but at least it was a small bit of hope. So lost in his thoughts he hadn't realized he wasn't alone until he heard the car stop behind him. Turning around he saw Brenda's husband Keith coming towards him.

"Where is she you son of a bitch?" Keith demanded as he hit Sam in the jaw with enough force to knock him off balance onto the ground. "She's here isn't she? I knew you were just waiting for her, well I'm taking her back and if I have to kill you to do it, then by damn I will!" he continued to yell as he lifted his shotgun and aimed it at Sam's head.

"Step away from my brother asshole before I put another hole in your head!" Dean growled as he stepped onto the porch with his gun raised. He gave Sam a glance and in that instant knew what he'd been missing. This was who he was, a big brother… _Sammy's_ big brother and no one, not some fugly demon bastard, not some deranged supernatural hunter, and sure as _hell_ not some backwoods jerkoff was going to hurt his little brother - not anymore, he'd see them all in hell first.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: So very sorry for the wait...had a root canal done so everything's a bit out of whack. I hope you all enjoy!

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Sam lay on the ground stunned, either from having a shotgun pointing at his head or the fact that Dean had just threatened someone for him, he wasn't sure. As he continued to stare up at Keith he couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed, after all it wasn't even twenty four hours earlier that his big brother was going to kill him himself, and now that same big brother was about to commit murder.

"Dean, it's ok, Keith was just leaving." Sam stated calmly as if he truly believed it even though his pulse was racing and it was taking more than a little effort to calm his breathing.

"Like Hell!" Keith yelled as he repositioned his shotgun to make sure he didn't have any chance of missing his target. He had pointedly ignored the other man who claimed to be the doctor's brother and instead continued to aim his gun with deadly accuracy.

"I said drop it!" Dean said once again as he walked slowly off the porch. There was no way he was letting this guy get away with threatening his little brother, but first he had to make sure that the guy was well and far away from Sammy before he taught him his lesson.

The sound of a siren getting closer only seemed to agitate both Keith and Dean, but for Sam it was like hearing angels sing since he knew there was no way that Keith would do anything in front of the Sheriff, especially since Sheriff Lamont was Keith's older brother.

"Damn it Keith, what the hell are you doing?" Sheriff Daniel Lamont shouted as he got out of his cruiser and started towards the small group of men. It was bad enough that he had already been to see Brenda, talked to her and the baby's doctor, and already got an earful from his own mamma about how out of control his little brother was the night before, but what really took the cake was when his phone rang not five minutes ago with little Addie on the other end screaming that her daddy was going to kill Doctor Sam… well that was more than enough for him to forgo his second cup of coffee and leave his cinnamon roll half ate on the kitchen counter. "You didn't succeed in killing your wife and baby so you've come to try it on the doc here? You really need to get a grip little brother."

Dean listened and wondered what type of lunatics his brother had been hanging around, fully prepared to take out the lawman if he had to in order to keep his own little brother safe. However he was surprised when he saw the Sheriff reach over and yank the shotgun away from Keith and start the process of arresting him right there on the spot before he took the opportunity to cuff the younger man upside the head.

"Do you have any idea what you did last night?" Sherriff Lamont demanded as he pushed Keith towards the car. "I have to charge you with attempted murder, child endangerment not only for those babies in the house but for that newborn in the hospital, assault and battery, and I'm thinking about tossing in disturbing the peace just because that damn fool attorney of yours is going to try to plea down to a lesser charge." He had managed to get Keith in the backseat and had paused to hear something his brother said before his ears started turning red. "If you weren't 

my brother I would have already shot your worthless ass! How Brenda has tolerated you this long I have no idea, but this is stopping now. She's going to get the house, the land, the kids and you're going to jail even if I have to bury you under it!" he yelled as he slammed the car door. After taking a deep breath, he walked over to Sam, eyeing the man stepping off the porch carefully.

Seeing his friend's trepidation Sam smiled and motioned towards Dean. "Dan, this is Dean."

Nodding, Dean wasn't sure about the look that passed between his brother and the Sheriff but he didn't have long to figure it out before the other man was sizing him up. Not sure whether he was passing the scrutiny, he continued to walk toward Sam in the effort to see for himself if that Keith guy hadn't done more damage than he'd initially thought.

"I take it you were only pointing your weapon at my little brother to protect your little brother?" the Sherriff asked knowingly while trying to ignore the fact that there were two little faces pressed against the window trying to get his attention. "Sam, I think the kids want to make sure everything's ok. How about you check on them while Dean and I discuss what happened." Seeing that Sam was about to argue, he turned his attention fully to Sam. "I won't shoot him Sam, I just need a little information and I don't need them running out here."

Dean watched a moment as Sam nodded and headed inside to get the kids to calm down a bit. It took a moment to remember that the Sheriff really wanted to talk to him, and it took another moment for him to decide to care.

Dan Lamont wasn't a lightweight considering he was six foot three and weighed in at two twenty five, but he had a feeling that if he ever got in a rumble with the shorter man before him then he'd have to watch out. "I don't know where you've been the last couple of years, and honestly I don't want to know, I just hope that you're going to be a help to him in the next couple of weeks because he's going to need it." Seeing the puzzled look on Dean's face he shook his head. "Look, it's no real secret that Miss Millie isn't doing as well as we'd all like, but there are secrets and some people around here might not look upon Sam in the same favor once they're revealed. So whatever your beef may have been before, I need to know if you're going to be here for him now or not."

Of all the things he was expecting, this wasn't even in the ballpark. Dean stared at the Sheriff and wondered yet again what type of lunatics his little brother had been hanging around. "I'll be here as long as my brother needs me, but how about you fill me in what he might need."

"Just know that money has a strange way of showing people's true colors." Dan said as he started to walk back to his car. "By the way, I'm sure you have a license to carry that peashooter, right?"

Smiling, Dean took the hint and nodded. "Yes sir, I sure do." Knowing that it just depended on which person he was today whether he was lying or not.

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Bobby, Caleb and Jim were already in the living room trying to convince the kids to get away from the window by the time Sam walked in the door. Sensing that something else was going on, they watched closely to the conversation going on outside but decided not to interfere unless things turned ugly. Before any of them knew it, Sam had somehow convinced both children that it was time to make breakfast instead of watching the events unfold from his living room.

As they continued to watch the Sherriff and Dean talk, they listened vaguely the sounds of Sam talking to the kids in the kitchen as if nothing out of the ordinary was actually going on; then again with the life Sam's led, then maybe it was more accurate to think that this was more normal than anyone would expect.

It wasn't too much longer before the Sheriff was leaving and Dean was walking back through the door. "That was… unexpected." Dean stated flatly as he looked around to the other hunters. "Not that I'm complaining, but any idea why I'm not under the damn jail?"

"It's no secret that Keith has been the black sheep of the family and Dan's never been one to turn a blind eye to what his brother does; especially if it involves hurting his wife and kids." Jim said sadly already knowing the questions that had to be racing through Dean's head.

Dean stood still for a moment while contemplating what Jim had said. "So he's hurt his wife before? Is that how Sammy knows her?" he asked, trying to fit what happened with what he'd learned already.

Nodding, Bobby started walking towards the kitchen, knowing that Sam had more to do today than babysit until the Sheriff could come back. "Brenda is Miss Millie's granddaughter and Sam's first patient here. Not everyone wanted a young doctor taking over the practice of one of their long term residents, but that night something changed and they've come to accept him as much as anyone else around here."

More than just a little curious, Dean couldn't help but ask, "What changed?"

"Miss Millie."

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Sam wasn't sure which was wearing him out the quickest, chasing after a cure for a demonic virus that had never been seen before while at the same time keeping a very affected John contained, or chasing after two kids through his house. If he had to lay odds it would have to be 

chasing after the kids and felt sympathy for Brenda is this was how her days usually went. Sighing, he grabbed a rag from the drawer and started cleaning the kitchen knowing that it was his own fault for trying to make French toast with the help of a three year old. Smiling at the memory of little David getting into everything his mind started to wander back to what ifs like it normally did when he started to get too tired and too wrapped up in a project. He'd managed to clean the table and the counters and put the mixing bowl in the sink to soak before he felt himself sinking in the despair that was often so easy for him anymore. His thoughts were slipping back to a time when his dreams included Jess and as many children that they could fit into their home, but it was a sound behind him that brought him back to the present.

Dean stood there watching his brother clean up the mess that occurred while making breakfast and wondered what had put such a forlorn look on the face that he was getting to know again so well. When he saw the raw pain in Sammy's eyes he wanted to find whatever put it there and eradicate it, but then he had a suspicion that it wasn't something so easily dealt with.

"You ok?" he asked as he continued to watch his brother closely. He might not have all the answers, but he knew that his brother was actually working on something and it looked like it was tearing him apart.

Nodding, Sam sat down and looked up at his brother. "The virus only attaches itself to healthy cells; it doesn't affect degenerating cells at all."

"So you're closer to a cure, is that what you're telling me?" Dean asked clearly enthused by the news, the sooner his dad was cured, the quicker they could deal with everything else.

"I have an idea and I'm sure it'll work, but…"

"But what? Whatever you're thinking has to be better than what's going on right now." Dean said firmly sensing that this was what his brother had been mulling over all day and it was past time he shared.

"Dean, you don't get it. The virus can't survive attached to dying cells… the more weakened cells it's exposed to, the faster it starts to die off." Sam said sadly hoping that Dean would pick up what he was saying without him actually having to express himself with words.

Not understanding what the problem was, Dean was about to toss a sarcastic remark Sam's way when suddenly something hit him hard enough that he could only stare at his brother in shock. "Wait, you mean…"

"That in order to get him past this, we have to kill off the healthy cells."

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Jim had been doing his best at keeping Bobby and John apart as much as possible, and under the circumstances it hadn't been an easy undertaking. When it had been necessary for Bobby to deal with the eldest Winchester, it was agreed that the time was limited to make sure that neither one of them pissed the other off too badly. So far the arrangement was working, but then again John had been unconscious through most of it.

Running his fingers through his hair he had to wonder what had brought them all to this point. He remembered meeting John for the first time and helping him see his Mary one last time before the harshness of the supernatural world fully crashed upon him. Now as he looked back he felt that maybe it had been a mistake to help with that one last visit, maybe their lives would have been better if he hadn't interfered.

"Jim, you really need to stop thinking so loud." John said gruffly as he once again started to surface from the deep sleep that his son had put him in. Looking at his long time friend he knew that this was bad and wondered how he was going to get out of it. He heard Jim's chuckle and smiled, knowing that at least for this one moment they all could pretend that everything was fine.

"John, I've never been able to figure out how you get yourself into some of these messes." Jim said good naturedly all the while his heart was breaking. He'd considered John not just a friend, but a brother for many years and now it could all be slipping away with none of them able to stop it.

"Yeah… just lucky I guess." John quipped as he looked around the room. "He's done pretty well hasn't he?" he asked, knowing already what the answer was. Just because his sons didn't know about his involvement in getting the clinic and house fixed up doesn't mean the others didn't, but he had his reasons for not letting his secret known. He and Sammy might not have gotten along for quite awhile, he still loved him… even if he was the magnet that drew the demons to their family so long ago. Some would think it was a love/hate relationship he had with his youngest and to be completely honest, he wasn't sure that that assessment was too far off.

"You know that if anyone can find a cure for this, it's Sam, right?" Jim asked as he watched John's expression carefully. He and the others had tried to get John to see the whole picture about the demon that was playing havoc with psychic children, but nothing they'd said had helped to sway the other man's opinion. As the years passed and Sam's stubborn streak grew it was easy for the father to look towards other causes of the sudden shift in attitude instead of his own stubborn streak that had orchestrated the whole mess. Now as he thought back he knew that he should have insisted that the boys stay with him more, but somehow things kept getting in the way making him feel as if he was also to blame for the chaotic shambles that the Winchester family was now in.

John didn't answer, partly because he wasn't sure but mostly because he wasn't sure he wanted there to be a cure. He'd spent over twenty years tracking down a demon that most people had told him didn't exist, and the ones that knew better advised him to stay away. Now though, he 

knew that Dean was experienced enough to take over the family business while Sam was determined enough to do his own thing anyway, so it would be so easy just to allow the virus to take over and finally get the peace he had secretly been craving since his beloved wife died. He wasn't so ignorant to believe that he'd be with Mary instantly, but maybe one day he'd pay his penance enough so he could finally glimpse her again if only to tell her how much he still loved her.

The door opened, drawing the attention of the hunters and causing Jim's concern to skyrocket. Bobby and Joshua looked like they wanted to bite through something while Caleb's expression was set in stone. Once the three hunters were fully in the room, Dean walked in looking as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders and Sam looked positively ill. Whatever had happed in the last hour was enough for all of them to look like condemned men making Jim wonder if it had anything to do with the treatment Sam had been working on. His musings were confirmed as soon as the young man spoke.

"I think I've come up with something, but chances are it would kill him before it cured him."


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: I hope you all like this one...thanks to Sammygirl1963 for giving me some nudges! :)

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The sound of an active three year old echoed through the house causing the older occupants to smile fondly. It wasn't everyday that the Winchester's were able to take a break and visit their friends in Blue Earth, but when they did the whole visit was usually filled with laughter and mischief; mostly from the Winchester brothers.

"_No regrets I take it?" Jim asked softly as he looked at his friend with appraising eyes. He had seen too many surviving spouses become overwhelmed just at the thought of taking take of children on their own, and this man in front of him had two healthy and happy boys to contend with._

"_What? No… I mean I'd like Mary to be here of course, but since that's not possible then I'll keep doing what I'm doing." John said matter of factly as he continued to listen to Dean admonish Sammy for taking his cookie. One thing about it, he had his hands full with those two._

_Jim sat quietly for a moment before airing his concern. "So you don't blame him for what happened?"_

"_WHAT?" John practically yelled as he turned to face his friend, not believing what he just heard. "Are you out of your mind?"_

"_I'm only asking John, it's not like I really thought it. With all the things we see every day you can see why I ask."_

"_No Jim, I don't! Sammy is a baby, he didn't have a damn thing to do with Mary's death!" John exclaimed before he realized that they could be overheard. Quieting his outrage he demanded, "Is that how you see him, Jim? Tell me now and we won't darken your doorstep again."_

_Shaking his head, Jim tried to calm his friend down in hopes to explain his thoughts. "No John, I don't see that. Sammy's such a sweet and loving boy, but some other people might not see him as such. There are those out there who can't distinguish the differences of being a victim and being involved. That's all I was pointing out. I'm glad that you don't blame Sammy because there is nothing to blame him for, he didn't cause your wife's death."_

_It would be several years later after he actually came face to face with the yellow eyed bastard for the first time that John would look back on that conversation and laugh bitterly at the turn his life had taken and why._

"_So I bet you think I just accidently stumbled upon little Sammy." Azazel sneered as he watched John try to break his hold. "Ah… I guess I could leave you in the blissful dark a little while longer, but what would be the fun in that?"_

"_You think I'm going to listen to anything you have to say?" John asked incredulously hoping to keep the attention of the demon diverted from what he was doing, he just hoped the calvary arrived soon._

_Azazel threw his head back and laughed in genuine delight, how he loved the arrogance of humans. "Oh you'll listen, mainly because you've already started to suspect that there's something… extraordinary about that boy of yours. Maybe even… supernatural?" he drew out his question knowing how it was _

_irritating the man before him. Seeing the puzzled look he couldn't help but laugh once again. "What, you thought that the boy's brilliant mind came from you? Or how he knows when something's…just…not…right." Seeing the subtle change he drove it home. "Almost as if he's… oh I don't know… psychic?"_

_John felt as if he'd been kicked in the gut and couldn't help but show the shock on his face. He might have had his suspicions, but that was completely different than actually believing it._

"_I have to say Johnnyboy, Sammy has shined brightly ever since the day he was born; a demon would have had to be blind not to see it. So you see... you really can't blame me for being curious now can you?"_

_Gritting his teeth, John refused to listen, knowing that as soon as he allowed the words to permeate into his brain then everything he'd fought so long for would be gone and this creature would win. No, he would not listen, because he knew the truth; this demon bastard took his Mary from him and Sammy was just an excuse._

"_Do you really think that I was there for Mary? Oh I have to admit that it was nice to see her again, but really… of all the nights for me to show up, it was on little Sammy's six month birthday? I'm sure that even you can find the … symmetry in that. Now, how about we get back to my initial question and then you can get back to what you do best… interfere with things that don't belong to you. Where's Sammy?" Azazel demanded as he increased the pressure on John's neck effectively cutting off the protests of the other man._

_John had woken up alone, wondering what he'd missed and if there was any way for him to find out. Knowing that the best way to deal with the situation was to be as prepared as possible, he made several phone calls before returning to the motel that he'd left the boys. It wasn't until after he assured sixteen year old Dean that everything was fine and started to check the salt lines and wards that the demon's words started to play over and over in his mind and what he remembered of the conversation wasn't something that he really wanted to remember. His gaze involuntarily rested upon his youngest son and the very thing that he had fought so hard against started to happen; the sorrow of losing his wife, raising his sons alone and fighting against the creatures of the darkness suddenly started to turn from the bastard that ripped everything from him to the son he had sworn on his wife's grave to protect. For the first time since the death of Mary, he actually felt rage towards his youngest son and knew that in that moment everything changed._

John laid there and heard Sam's words _I think I've come up with something, but chances are it would kill him before it cured him _and made his decision before he listened to anything else. "Then I guess I'll take the chance with the virus, better yet how about you live up to our agreement?"

Stunned, Sam stood there and stared at his patient. He'd dealt with stubborn people before, but he'd usually been able to turn them around to his way of thinking. However it was obvious that 

there was no changing his mind. Nodding, he turned around and left the room without another word leaving the others wondering what had just happened.

"Ok, so which one of you are going to untie me?" John asked as he looked at each hunter in turn before letting out a long suffering breath. "Look, we had a deal, we'd stay here for two day and if there wasn't any improvement then we could move on."

Dean stood there and watched in silence as his father had basically tossed his one chance to beat this thing out the window. His anger grew as he realized that that had probably been the plan the whole time, possibly even twisting things around so the blame could be laid at someone else's feet. Suddenly though the whole mood in the room shifted and his father looked like he was ready to rip the bed holding him into pieces and the sounds coming from his mouth definitely made him understand that the players had once again changed.

"Aren't you done with this? Untie me… NOW!" John yelled as he once again fought against the bindings making the others rush towards him in the effort to try and keep him from hurting himself.

Between the curses spewing from his mouth and the frantic thrashing of his body, it was taking a lot of energy to keep John's body still until finally his body wore out and he succumbed to the exhaustion that fighting the virus was causing. With a collective feeling of relief, the hunters took a step back and wondered what to do next. Since John had adamantly refused any treatment, then the only thing they could do was let him go – in the normal world anyway. Right now though, in the real world it was obvious that they couldn't release him out into the unsuspecting public which left only one other thing to do; keep him hostage until the virus ran its course either way.

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Sam couldn't pull his thoughts together since he left the other room. He had put himself into an impossible position, and he would have kicked himself for it if he had the presence of mind to come to terms with it. As it was though he was standing in the middle of the hallway staring out into space trying hard to push down everything else in order to focus on only one thing at a time; unfortunately it wasn't working very well and the effects were starting to be felt.

The pictures were trembling on the walls while the glasses clattered in the cabinets harmonizing in a weird torrent of sound, combining in his head to increase the pain that was starting to blossom behind his eyes. The sound of a door slamming against a wall brought him crashing back to that one precise moment in the many that he'd been temporarily lost in.

"SAM!" Dean screamed again, the fear evident in his voice as he tried to get his brother's attention.

Turning around, Sam stared for a moment before he recognized Dean and tried to smile. "Sorry, sometimes it gets away from me." He said, trying hard to inject some humor but stopped suddenly when he noticed the unease oozing from his brother. Sighing, he nodded and turned back toward the living portion of the house in the effort to make the whole situation easier on Dean.

Sudden understanding slammed into Dean and his actions came back to him and he could see how his reaction was perceived. Admittedly he was freaked out. It was one thing to know someone who could do things like that, and it was totally something else to see it firsthand. As he watched his brother walk away he cursed silently and followed Sammy to wherever he was going. Just because he didn't know what was going on didn't mean that he was going to let his little brother face it alone.

As they walked outside, Dean noticed that it was still cold even though the sun had broken through the clouds for awhile earlier in the day. Now though the temperature was starting to drop again and he could only stay back and watch as Sam once again took position and started meditating. As Sam stayed busy, Dean took that time to reflect over what had happened in the course of one lousy day. His little brother had come close to being killed, a possible cure had been revealed even though the risks outweighed the gain, his father was still under the influence of a virus that he was refusing treatment for, and now the brother he'd just started to accept again had some sort of psychic short that had caused some mayhem in the house. He gave a sardonic laugh at the Winchester luck and shook his head in the attempt to ignore the fact that he knew he still didn't know everything that was going on.

It took him a few moments to pinpoint the prickly feeling he was getting on the back of his neck, but when he did he turned his attention back to the younger man in front of him. "You ready to go in?" he asked, knowing that if he was cold then Sam had to be freezing.

"Why are you here Dean?" Sam asked, truly puzzled by the change of events. "I mean it's not as if you'd really trust me to try this treatment, so I have to wonder why you haven't taken Dad already and shagged ass out of here."

Dean smirked at the idea before he shook his head. "You really don't get it do you Sammy? Whatever happened before doesn't matter, right now does though which means we need to stick together.

"Dean, our family doesn't do well together, or have you forgotten?" Sam asked as he stretched a moment before starting the short walk back to the house. "Dad wants to go, so I guess you'll be leaving soon."

"Are you nuts! There's no way I'm taking him anywhere Sam! He's obviously not in his right mind and as next of kin I have the duty to make sure gets the treatment he needs which means 

he's staying right here until you can cure him – end of discussion." Dean said as he stood in front of Sam and dared him to contradict him.

Slowly Sam turned around and stared for a moment before he shook his head. "No Dean, I'm not doing it. If he doesn't want me treating him then he has the right to refuse, I'm not denying him that."

"Well I say he doesn't know what he needs therefore I'm making the decision. We're staying, that's final, end of discussion." Dean stated firmly as he walked past Sam and into the house, leaving Sam to stand there completely confused.

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Bobby looked at John's unconscious body and actually felt sorry for the man. Out of everything he'd hunted and gotten rid of, he'd effectively became the very thing he hunted. He knew that Dean wouldn't want anything to happen to his daddy, but sometimes it's hard to protect those that you love from harm, especially if that harm was from themselves. He hadn't been kidding when he'd said that it had taken months for Sam to come to accept any of them, and if he was completely honest he'd have to admit that the kid still held a part of himself totally aloof from them as if it was his last reserve that needed to be protected from anything and everything.

He remembered when they had found him on the bluffs and the completely lost look on his face when he saw that it wasn't his brother who had found him. That look had barely had time to fade away before he was taking off in the attempt to outrun what he'd learned. In the end though it probably was for the best, with Sam out there trying to find his own way he had been able to see that not everyone thought of him as useless and instead he grew even more as a hunter and a man. Not to say that the kid didn't still have a stubborn streak, it had taken all of them to drag his scrawny ass to California and finish his registration at the University of San Francisco. On the day that Sam became an official college student, he had presented the kid with his new life in more ways than one. It hadn't been difficult to prove that John had abandoned Sam, but it had taken time for the appointed Judge to agree to an informal hearing bright and early one morning in order for him to hear from Sam's own mouth that he wasn't opposed to Bobby's adoption. It had actually been harder than it should have, mainly because the kid had already felt like there was no point in going through with it since he didn't deserve to have a family. Finally, after explaining for the umpteenth time that it would guarantee that he'd always have a family, Sam turned to the Judge and gave a brief nod and a quick "Ok". After waiting for all the paperwork to be filed and copies made, they got on the first plane to San Francisco and met Joshua, Caleb and Jim who had already set up the garage apartment to keep the baddies out, and met with the Moore's who apparently knew Jim from some sort of trouble several years ago. Although the 

specifics were never mentioned, it was obvious that neither man thought whatever debt was owed had been paid.

"Thinking about that deal?" Caleb asked quietly while watching John's chest rise and fall softly. "You know we should have known that the kid wouldn't have been able to resist a hunt that was so blatantly obvious."

Smirking, both Bobby and Jim nodded. The one condition that Sam had put on them in order for him to agree to go to stay in school and not continue his summer activities was that he could live there by himself, while their agreement was that if he was going to live there by himself then he couldn't hunt without backup.

"I still can't believe that he tried to convince us that a mangy mutt was considered back up." Joshua said. It had taken everything they had not to beat the boy's ass black and blue for that one, but even they had to admit that they never once stipulated what was to be considered suitable backup for a hunter.

Jim rubbed his eyes in an effort to erase clear images out of his head all the while stating wearily. "Yes, well I'm just glad we got him away from Zack. I don't know about you but I was having nightmares about our Sam chasing after serial killers cross country like he was; I never once dreamed that he'd grow up and become a bounty hunter of all things."

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The door hadn't fully closed so the sounds of voices carried down the hallway and met Dean's ears. What caught his attention the most though was Jim's statement about Sammy being a bounty hunter. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at that point which led him straight into denial. Bounty hunters were tough with a harsh attitude, and although he knew Sam could take care of himself, there was no way his little brother would be able to come across as harsh.

"Drop it Dean." Sam hissed in his ear as he started to walk past.

Grabbing hold of Sam's arm, Dean brought him up short before looking directly at him. "It's some sort of joke, right?"

Sighing, Sam shook his head and motioned upstairs. If he was going to talk about it at all, then he was going to get comfortable. As they sat on the couch, Sam became even more nervous because he was about to admit to his brother just how weak he was, and that definitely didn't have any appeal.

"Look Dean you have to understand something, me going on the road with Zach was more to make sure I deserved to be here. Bobby knew where I was… mostly… Zach made sure of it. I spent three weeks with him tracking this serial rapist and murderer down. We hardly slept, the 

food was lousy and the only time we took off was to fill up his Range Rover and shower and even the shower was more to knock the top layer of grunge off. I never thought it was glamorous, and to be honest I didn't go to bring justice for some families; I went because I wanted to know that if I was going to die it was going to be quick. I honestly didn't care about anything else; I just didn't want to suffer anymore. I didn't know about my abilities, but I did know that if my own family didn't want me around then I had to be something awful." Sam ignored the pained look on Dean's face and continued. "We caught up with the guy on his way out the door of girlfriend number eight's house. He fought, but we fought harder and in the end we were splitting the bounty after a two day wait and heading towards a bar with one thing in mind – get drunk off our asses. It was a small… well it wasn't even really a town, more like an area of convergence out in the middle of nowhere. Nobody cared who or what you were as long as you had money, and we had plenty of that so it worked out pretty well. Zack even offered me a permanent place as his partner saying that we worked well together and it was obvious that I knew what I was doing. Man…you can't imagine how that sounded to me. I couldn't remember the last time someone said that and there I was eating it up like a starving dog on a bone."

Dean had a feeling build up in his stomach as he heard his little brother talk and knew that he really didn't want the answer but couldn't seem to stop himself from asking. "So, what kept you from it?" Sam looked at him and his answer seemed to stop time.

"I killed a man."


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Hey everyone... I hope you like this one, I'll try to update again soon... take care!

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Dean couldn't believe what he just heard and in fact was sure he misunderstood, but then his father's words came screaming back into his brain and he had to wonder if this is what he had been talking about. Seeing the devastated look on his brother's face he scoffed before he spoke again. "Ok Sammy, so you had to kill a bounty right? That happens, right? I'm sure the guy deserved it."

"No Dean, you don't understand… I. Killed. A. Man." Sam said firmly, trying to get the point across to his stubborn brother. Seeing the disbelief he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and looked down on the carpet. "We were in the bar getting wasted and having a good time, Zach was flirting with more than a few waitresses and I was tossing beers back and playing pool feeling on top of the world. It seemed like half the town was there and the mood was good so we didn't think anything about it. We had been there awhile and I'd just got back to joining Zack at the bar when this guy comes walking up to us demanding that we leave his girlfriend alone. The guy was more than a little blitzed and the girl was getting pissed insisting that they had broken up months ago, but the guy wouldn't listen. At first we ignored him, but it wasn't long before he was taking a swing at Zack causing the whole place to change. The bar erupted into a brawl and we were the center of attention. Somehow we were holding our own and we kept trying to find a hole to get through so we could get out of there. Finally though things were calming down and it looked like we were going to get out of there in one piece… until the guy takes a broken bottle and comes at me. I swear Dean I don't even remember what happened, but I still know what I did. He came at me and I struck out at him… hard. His head connected with the edge of the bar and broke his neck instantly, he didn't have a chance. Zack was able to get me out of there and the Sherriff who had been a witness to the whole thing escorted us out of town so no one would go after us, but it still felt wrong; I killed a man and I was walking away as if it was nothing."

Sitting there listening to Sammy tell him about killing someone was not what he had planned to do that day, but then again it seemed like any plans were still up in the air anyways. "Sammy, it was self defense… the guy was looking for a fight and it sounds like he didn't care who it was." He said calmly, knowing that he was going to have to tread lightly.

Smirking, Sam shook his head. "Yeah, I know that Dean. It's taken me awhile, but I finally get it. But it doesn't help Dean… I killed a man, not some evil creature out there terrorizing innocent people, and that's something that I have to deal with every day of my life. I knew right then that I couldn't be a partner to Zack, just like I couldn't be what Dad wanted. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Bobby being a stubborn jackass, I would've been dead on the side of some road or railroad tracks somewhere, 'cause at that point I really didn't care anymore."

That revelation hurt Dean more than anything else, knowing that his little brother had been so broken that he had wished for death. "So you decided to go to school instead?"

Sam laughed and looked at Dean. "More like the choice was taken from me. One minute I'm standing in front of a judge being asked if I wanted to be adopted by Bobby and the next I'm on a plane to California already an enrolled college student. Apparently they got it in their head that I needed something to work towards, and there was no reason to let my brains go to waste."

Dean laughed a moment and understood where Jim and the others had come from. Sammy had always done well with school; no matter where they were he could take to a subject like a duck to water. Obviously they thought it would be more like therapy for him. "Guess it worked."

"Yeah, I guess. That first semester was tough since I was still trying to prove I could take care of myself and they were still trying to show me that I didn't need to. I managed to pull my head out and get my grades up so that Stanford actually allowed me to finish my undergrad studies the following year." Seeing his brother's puzzled face he shrugged. "I wasn't allowed to hunt by myself and I was too young to go partying since it was a condition for me living in my own apartment, so I threw myself into my studies and got more credits in during the semester after testing out of several. I graduated Stanford after nailing my entrance exams and was accepted into Harvard Medical School, I don't even want to know how that was paid for." He stood and stretched before he looked around then looked back at his brother. "Anymore questions?" he asked.

Before he could stop himself, he heard the question that he'd been wondering for so long. "What happened to your hands?"

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Jim had heard Dean and Sam talking in the hall and knew instantly what happened. Looking at the others he saw that they knew it too but had no idea what to do about it. Leaning back they continued to watch John and hoped that the man would stay under awhile, the virus was taking a toll on his body each time the other persona broke through.

Their thoughts were broken when they heard a knock before the front door opened. Looking around the corner Jim saw the Sheriff walk in looking as if he had the world on his shoulders.

"Sheriff, is there a problem?" Jim asked as he stepped out of the back room and firmly closed the door.

Daniel looked at Doc Sam's uncle and wondered once again just how this family was so in tune with the kid that they seemed to be around anytime they might be needed. Shaking his head he responded sadly, "I need to see Sam, he around?"

"Daniel, I thought I heard your car… what's going on?" Sam asked as he slowly walked down the stairs.

As Daniel and the others looked up and saw Sam they were suddenly worried about the pale man in front of them. Something must have happened to make him look like he could collapse at any moment. Feeling horrible to bringing this up now, the Sheriff hoped that it wouldn't be too much for Sam to handle. "Sam, I thought I'd give you a heads up before the morning paper comes out." Seeing Sam's hesitation he nodded solemnly. "Ms. Millie passed away earlier and… well; she wanted you to have this before the whole town makes a spectacle out of it." He said as he handed the younger man a sheet of paper. "She wanted it printed in the paper so that everyone would know her wishes and no one would be able to hide anything."

Sam took the page and glanced at the top but stopped when he realized what it was. Nodding he turned and walked back up the stairs effectively blocking everything else out.

Dean watched as Sam walked passed him as if his world had ended and couldn't understand what had just happened. Turning towards the Sheriff he waited until the other man's attention turned towards him before demanding, "What was that all about?"

"Ms. Millie insisted her Will was put in the paper. By midmorning tomorrow everyone will know that her estate has been split between two people, her granddaughter Brenda and Sam. It's not going to be a popular decision and to be honest I'm worried about how some people are going to take it."

Confused, Dean could only stare at the Sheriff as he tried to take in the meaning of what was being said. Still not understanding, he finally had to ask the question that was beating around his brain. "So what are we talking about here?"

Daniel ran his hand through his hair before looking up towards Dean. "All total, there's about a thousand acre ranch still being worked, the house in town, some investments and a few bank accounts that are being looked at right now. Most everything will go to Brenda, but the cash accounts and half the ranch is earmarked for Sam and his medical practice."

Jim stood in shock and waited for the punch line because even he couldn't imagine the old woman being that generous especially when she had other family members who had been expecting their 'fair share'. Looking at Dean he could tell the other man was in shock as well but soon the situation full took hold and he watched Dean rush back up the stairs to make sure Sam was alright because it was obvious that if the old woman cared that much about the youngest Winchester, then they must have had a stronger bond than what any of them thought.

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Sam had stared at Dean hearing the question and not having any idea how to answer him since that would open up to another story that he was definitely not up to telling right now. All his brother knew about Jess was that she existed, nothing else and right now he didn't have a problem keeping it that way. He had never been so thankful to hear the Sheriff's cruiser pull up close to the clinic; it was the perfect diversion even if it was only temporary.

Now though he was back on the couch and staring at the page in his hand. He'd never intended for this to happen but he knew it wouldn't matter, people would believe what they wanted no matter what he said. Sure Ms. Millie had joked about adding him to her Will, but he'd always took it as a good natured ribbing to show how much he appreciated him. Now though the proof was in his hand and he had no idea what he was supposed to do about it, the pain in his heart was so raw he was having trouble remembering that he had someone else who needed his attention right now. He remembered the first time he met her and wondered now if that was when she had done this, if maybe she had known this long that she would do something that would turn his life upside down.

_Doctor Sam Winchester had just managed to get back from Sioux Falls after spending a shift in the ER trying to take care of the people who seemed to have nothing else to do than visit the hospital due to their own stupidity. He couldn't understand why people kept insisting that they were ok to drive after having a couple of drinks, even if their kids were in the car as well._

_Feeling the tension from the day start to ease, he was sure he would be able to get some sleep. Although his clinic had been open for a couple of months but no one wanted to risk their health to a young doctor even though the previous physician had heavy endorsed him around town. In order to make ends meet he had to resort to the long drive to Sioux Falls where he was known as a 'moonlighter'… a doctor who only worked when needed. Knowing that he probably wouldn't have to make the drive again for another couple of days he thought he could get a few more things done around the old house so Bobby would quit worrying. Funny how the older hunter would worry about him while he was safe and sound in a protected house, in the middle of a small quiet town that didn't even have a friendly ghost hanging around, while he was out there actively searching for demons. Smirking to himself he just put on a pot of coffee when he heard what sounded like someone pulling into the driveway. Knowing that Bobby and the others weren't due for a visit for at least another week, he couldn't figure out who would be dropping by. _

_Stepping out onto the porch he quickly realized this wasn't a social call and immediately jumped off the porch to help the old woman behind the wheel of the car. He was shocked however when she spoke harshly to him and motioned to the backseat._

"_Not me… Brenda! She hasn't said a word since we left the house." The old woman said bitterly as she worked her way out of the car._

_Looking in the backseat he saw a young woman unconscious in the backseat and worried about the cause. As he climbed into the backseat it became increasingly obvious what happened and it angered him to the point that he had to take a moment to get himself under control before he could even touch her to get her inside. It took over an hour to evaluate Brenda and get her injuries treated, all the while the old woman watched intently._

"_She'll be alright now. Once she wakes up we can move her to a more comfortable bed until she's up to heading back to where it is she wants to go." He said as he continued to recheck vital signs and write them on a chart by the bed._

"_You going to ask what happened?" the old woman said harshly._

_Shaking his head Sam replied, "Obviously she fell down the stairs and walked into a door." Seeing the scrutinizing look she was giving him he smiled. "Too bad that I know for a fact that she lives in a single story house and that it doesn't have that many doors."_

_The old woman laughed heartily before nodding her head. "Well now that we have that settled, what are we going to do about it?"_

_Before he had a chance to answer another car pulled into the driveway causing both of them to look at each other before Sam once again walked out to the porch. Seeing a large man get out of a truck he knew that it wouldn't take rocket science to figure out who this was._

"_I'm here for my wife."_

"_Well if I see her I'll be sure to tell her." Sam said stiffly, blocking the porch._

_Keith grew angry and stepped forward. "Do you have any idea who I am?" he asked harshly, obviously drunk and not caring who knew it._

"_Yeah, you're the one who likes to beat on women." Sam said as he kept his stance firm. When the other man swung at him he easily ducked and shoved the man back toward the truck. Once there he wrestled the man into his vehicle and issued a warning. "I don't care if you are the Sheriff's brother, you come back her like this again and you'll be my next patient." Seeing the man was about to argue he gave a quick jab to the man's head and silently dared him to argue again._

"_We're not done here." Keith threatened as he peeled out of the driveway fully intending to come back with his friends to take care of this punk kid who didn't have sense enough to be scared._

_When he walked back into the house he saw the old woman standing there with appraising eyes and wondered what she was thinking._

"_You didn't seem to be scared of him." She stated as she watched the young man before her._

_Sam smirked and shrugged. "Faced scarier things than him."_

_The old woman laughed once again and held out her hand. "Well in that case why don't you call me Ms. Millie… all my friends do."_

It hadn't taken long after getting Brenda back on her feet that business started to pick up and a friendship between him and Ms. Millie began. She was there when the loss of Jess hit him harshly again, and he was there when her big health secret came to his attention. They both worried about Brenda and the kids and neither one stopped trying to talk the young woman into leaving her abusive husband. Now it looked as if Ms. Millie's final act had done just that and it was a bittersweet feeling for Sam to know that even towards the end of her life she was thinking about everyone but herself.

He didn't even realize he had company next to him until he raised his hand to wipe off the tears, that's when he saw Dean sitting close watching him. "I never asked for this… she was my friend… my one and only friend."

Dean felt like he was being ripped apart and knew that Sam hadn't meant to make it sound judgmental but it still hurt but he quickly pulled himself out of his self pity with the reminder that his brother was only saying what he knew, he didn't know that to him Sammy was still his best friend and he'd do everything he could to try to get that back.


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: Sorry for the wait, too many irons in the fire this week... just hope this week isn't as odd. Hope you all enjoy!! :)

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I, Mildred Schultz Bodine, am both sound in mind and (as much as my old age allows) body, hereby declare this my last will and testament to be carried out to the letter upon my death. Should any part of this not be carried out then all assets should immediately be liquidated no matter of loss and given to a charity for children in need overseas, preferably endorsed by UNICEF.

_To my darling children who have always benefited from the good works and labor of their father, I leave you with the knowledge of what you have gleaned over the years in hopes that you understand how truly lucky you have been throughout your lives._

_To my darling grandchildren I grant you the same as your parents since you too have had many things given to you as you grew into adulthood and beyond. Take what lessons and other gifts you have received and make your own way in the world._

_To my wonderful great granddaughter Brenda who has been given the opportunities of her family, but has chosen to the harder, harsher road of life, I give to you all of my investments, the house in town as well as one half of the family ranch which is even now turning a profit. You have so much more to give, it's time you are truly granted the means to do it with no strings attached. However, should you refuse this gift, then your portion shall be treated as above mentioned._

_To my other great grandchildren, look upon your parents and grandparents during this time and learn from it and their mistakes, it will make you better people in the end._

_To Dr. Samuel Singer, my friend and confidant, I grant you all the money in my bank accounts as well as the other half of the ranch. You too have so much more to offer, and should be allowed to work on your ideas without worry of how to eat (which I expect you to do young man). Take this gift and make the most of it. As with Brenda's, should you refuse, then your portion will be treated as aforementioned._

_To those who expected something for nothing, then let me alleviate your fears… I am not insane, just wiser than you gave me credit for. I have done things to ensure the future of my children and have watched as those choices have seemed in vain. My husband whom I still love fully and completely was ill with cancer and although everyone said to have faith, we both knew that modern medicine was prolonging his death. Forty years ago a decision was made and a promise kept, now that I am obviously dead I can be released from my promise and my conscious is clear._

_My dear husband Charlie's death was not natural, but by my hand. The cancer had spread quicker than the doctors anticipated, leaving him in agonizing pain. Not wanting to linger any longer, he asked for my help and having never been able to deny him anything in his life, I could not deny him request for death. It did not take much more morphine than his normal dose and he did not suffer, however he made me promise not to tell a soul in fear that I would be judged. Although I have broken that vow only once and only recently, I know my Charlie understood why I had to, in order to save a friend the pain he was feeling from the loss of his true love._

_Trust in love as the guiding factor and you all will make the right decisions._

_Sincerely,_

_Ms. Millie_

The morning paper was delivered by six am and by six ten the phones were already ringing around town, most people were in shock but others were more outraged than anything. Sure they all had known Ms. Millie as an eccentric, but that had been her charm. Now though, after several hours of making the circuit, the consensus was drawn that someone had convinced her to do something so outlandish and that only meant one thing… Dr. Sam had to go.

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Sam knew the instant the paper had been delivered because his phone hadn't stopped ringing for the last hour and a half. It wasn't as if he could ignore the calls, so he let the machine pick them up and was thankful that it was set on a fifteen second limit, otherwise his tape would have been filled up with the threats of just one caller. After turning down the volume to the point that he could still hear it in the lab in case a patient called, Sam returned to his work and hoped that people would find other things to do soon… this sort of distraction was exactly what he didn't need right now.

John had spent half the night swinging back from rallying against the virus to being tossed head over heels by it, causing him to lash out at anyone and everyone. Each episode caused his red blood cell count to drop rapidly making Sam rush to save the man that didn't want to be saved. It was a definite conundrum, but one he would deal with one step at a time. Right now though he needed to find a way to kill the virus without killing his patient and he had no idea how to do that at the moment.

"Man Sammy, if that's your fan club calling, I'd really hate to hear what your enemies say about you." Dean quipped from the doorway.

Barely looking up from his notes Sam smiled a little before shaking his head. "Yeah, well the funny thing is she never promised anybody anything, she was more of a 'make your own way' type person. How so many people thought they were going to get part of her estate, I'll never know."

"So you had no idea?" Dean asked as he made his way to a rolling chair and leaned back watching his brother process the question.

Sam shook his head before turning around and facing Dean head on. "No, I had no clue. She would come by at least once a week and check my cabinets for food and if she didn't like what she saw I'd have a box of groceries delivered before I even knew what she was doing, but she always refused the money I offered her saying that she needed a doctor who was healthy enough to stand on his own two feet. How was I supposed to argue with that? After awhile we got into a routine… I'd get onto her for doing too much with her enlarged heart, and she'd get onto me for working too hard at the hospital then coming to work at the clinic. She helped me get over Jess and I helped her worry about Brenda and the kids. I always thought there was no score being kept, that we balanced each other out no matter what occurred. I really have no idea why she did this."

Dean shook his head in amazement. For someone so smart, his little brother could be really dumb. "Because she always wanted your relationship to be balanced. She knew that after she died you wouldn't look after yourself, you'd always help people to the point that you'd go hungry or leave something undone in order to do it. She wanted to make sure that you continued to do what you do best – help people, just like she wanted you to."

"But… that doesn't make sense. If that's right, then I'd always owe her and…"

"Sammy, these people are her family… she wants you to take care of them even when they're too old to do it themselves. This was the only way she knew that her family would be taken care of… by taking care of you."

They both sat in the quiet room with the occasional sound of another phone call being picked up by the answering machine in the background. Finally Sam had enough and looked at his brother. "He's not responding to the treatment anymore. We either have to watch him slowly deteriorate, or we convince him of a more aggressive treatment… either way could kill him, but I'm thinking he'd rather fight it."

Nodding, Dean turned and walked out of the room, he had some convincing to do.

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Brenda couldn't believe what she was hearing from the very people that her grandmother had called friends for so long. After everything she had done for them and now they turn on her, it made her want to scream at them all. Turning back towards her car however she knew that whatever was being said to her was nothing compared to what Sam had to be going through. Although the doctor hadn't released her to drive, there was no way she was going to be subjected to relying on her so called friends for a ride.

It took longer to get to the clinic than usual since she had to go a little slower since her muscles ached so much, but she knew that she was doing the right thing. With her babies in the car with her, she was going to find out exactly what was really going on in the town she called home. Finally pulling up close to the clinic, she was thankful when Addie took the baby's seat out of the car and carried it up to the front door and knocked. By the time she and David made it to stand next to her little girl and baby boy, Sam had opened the door and had the most shocking look on his face.

"Oh my God, Brenda! What the hell are you doing? Get in here and sit down." Sam exclaimed as he scooped the baby seat up and guided Brenda inside to the warm kitchen where he immediately went and maneuvered a recliner in there so she could relax. "What's going on?" he asked, hoping that she hadn't done damage to herself in the effort of coming over.

"Sam, as you know the town's buzzing about the will and I know that vicious things are flying around, but you haven't heard all of it and I thought you needed to hear it from me." Brenda said, thankful that Sam had helped get her more comfortable before she did this. "Keith has been making calls from jail claiming that you and I are having an affair and that's why…"

"Mommy… what's an 'affair'?" Addie asked as she looked between her mommy and Dr. Sam.

Feeling as if she was the biggest fool, Brenda was just about to try to explain when a scream broke the silence leaving them all shocked. Sam ran out the door without a word leaving Brenda to wonder just what exactly she had brought her children into.

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Dean knew that it wasn't going to be easy to convince his dad to try any treatment that Sammy came up with, but he also knew that if his dad was in his right mind then he'd want to go out fighting this thing. Walking back into the room he noticed just how tired everyone was and knew that if they were that tired, his brother had to be exhausted. Thinking it over he knew that Sammy hadn't slept since they got there and he had a suspicion that he hadn't slept much before then either.

"How's your brother doing?" Bobby asked gruffly as he rubbed his eyes. Seeing the question in Dean's eyes he nodded. "He sounded pretty beat when I called telling him we were coming. Don't worry; I've never known him to let lack of sleep impair his judgment when it counted." The rest of the men in the room nodded their heads in agreement knowing that it was easy to assume that Sam wouldn't be able to give his best at the moment.

Hearing his brother in the kitchen he paused a moment and listened, instantly able to tell that Brenda and her kids were there. He had to wonder about the young woman and her grandmother but before he had a chance to ask what he wanted John arched up as much as he could and gave a heart rendering scream. Panicked, Dean rushed over and tried to hold his father down as the others moved items out of the way knowing that the door was about to open and Sam would immediately need the room.

As soon as Sam rushed through the door he started to assess the situation and knew that this wasn't a good sign, the virus was starting to accelerate its damage and he knew that it was either now or never. "Josh, I need you to take Brenda upstairs and help get her settled with the kids. Bobby, I need you to bring the ice chest from the truck… don't open it, just take it to the lab and put it on the counter. Jim, get Dean to sit down, I don't think he's ready to see this."

Shocked at Sammy's insinuation Dean was about to argue but was held still by Jim's hand on his shoulder. "Let Sam do what he needs to." Jim said gently as he guided the middle Winchester towards a chair. Looking between Sammy and Jim, Dean wasn't sure what was about to happen. As soon as his brother started to speak he really wished he hadn't.

"It's accelerated its progress. Dean, it's not a matter of if now… it's a matter of when." Sam said sadly. He had one option if Dean decided to go against his father's wishes but it wouldn't be easy and could be just as deadly as the virus itself.

Knowing that he had a decision to make Dean looked at his father then his brother and took a deep breath. "Do it… whatever it is that you're freaky assed mind thinks might work, do it."

Nodding, Sam left the room leaving both Dean and Jim to wonder what the plan was. Bobby walked back into the room with a forlorn look on his face and they both knew instantly that whatever was about to happen, they wouldn't like it.

Sam walked in holding an IV bag that had dark liquid inside giving the appearance of something that would be right at home in a horror movie. Seeing Dean's questioning gaze he looked at the bag then back at his brother. "The virus survives on healthy cells, the healthier the cell, the stronger the virus and the faster it takes over. We need to weaken the cells."

Dean felt as if he was supposed to understand what was about to happen but at the moment he couldn't seem to put the situation they were facing with the bag his little brother was holding with trepidation. It wasn't until he felt Jim's comforting hand on his shoulder that the pieces started to fall into place like the tumblers in a lock and he knew that Sammy was just waiting for permission… permission to possibly kill their father.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Hope you like it... let me know...

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Sam watched as his brother stood staring at him before looking at the IV in his hand and knew what was going on in that overwhelmed brain. Sighing he continued to wait, refusing to watch the confusion turn to horror any longer. It wasn't until they heard John's breathing alter once again that he knew it was either now or never and only then did he allow his gaze to fall upon Dean once again.

Knowing that he was being watched didn't bother Dean, it was the fact that the situation of what his brother was about to do finally struck home that made him wonder what the hell he was thinking. Taking a quick look at his dad, he knew what he needed to do, give him as much of a chance as he could, but what exactly that entailed he wasn't sure. He was just about to ask Sammy what to expect when his dad's breathing changed once again and he knew he couldn't miss this opportunity. Looking at his brother he nodded. "I understand… do it!"

Nodding, Sam rushed to the bedside and immediately started the IV before administering more medicine to open the bronchial airways, all the while praying they weren't already too late.

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As the day wore on it became obvious that John's health was fading fast and Dean was once again second guessing his decision of bringing his father there, but the alternative wasn't any prettier so he fought down his feelings of panic and sat vigil by the one person who had been a constant throughout his whole life.

Once again he watched as Sammy took more blood and sequestered himself in his lab as if he would find a cure just by sheer determination alone. He didn't know what his brother was expecting, but he could tell that whatever it was he was seeing wasn't meeting with the youngest Winchester's approval… and no matter what anybody else said, Sammy was still a Winchester. Making a decision he stood from his chair and ignored the curious looks from the others and walked out of the room, he needed to find out what had his brother tied up in knots.

Sam felt like he was permanently attached to his microscope and laptop at the moment but he wasn't about to leave them considering they were the only hope that his patient had at the moment. Once again he sighed and stretched his tight muscles thinking about the strange situation that he had found himself in, it wasn't everyday he was asked to save the very person who walked away from him years ago. To be fair though he knew that he hadn't actually been _asked_, but it was widely known that he would never turn down a hunter in need… no matter who it was.

Hearing the door open he knew instantly who it was and wasn't sure if he was ready to face Dean at the moment. One look at his brother's face and he could tell the sentiment was shared. Motioning to the microscope he moved so his brother could see what he was agonizing over and was only mildly surprised when Dean spoke.

"It's not working."

Shaking his head Sam moved towards his laptop and pressed the Enter button initiating the slide show of the past blood samples. "The virus was making pretty good headway on his blood cells as it was, but here's when I introduced the chemo… there was a slight lull in its progression but then about two hours ago it kicked back in with a vengeance."

"So basically we just gave it something else to feed on?" Dean asked, unsure that he was hearing correctly.

"Yeah, basically. Now it has something else to take over while its still munching away at…"

Dean laid a hand on Sammy's shoulder, he could tell his brother was getting more upset by the moment and that wasn't going to do anyone any good. "Look, you've been able to do more than anyone else whose dealt with this. We knew it was a long shot, now we know that there isn't anything that's going to work so I'll just take Dad and…"

"And what Dean… fulfill his last wish? Are you insane?" Sam exclaimed, not believing what he was hearing. "Look, stay here… if I can't come up with something else then at least we can make him as comfortable as possible. You're not alone Dean, please quit acting like you are."

Surprised, Dean was about to make one of his patented sarcastic comments when the sounds of a fight filtered through the door. Rushing out into the hallway they both were surprised to see John heading towards the backdoor.

"Dad?" Dean asked, not sure whether or not he believed what he was seeing. As his father turned to face him though he could tell that this wasn't his dad, it was that demonic persona that was fighting them tooth and nail to get what it wanted. It wasn't until the fact that his dad was getting closer registered in his brain that he understood that he was in major trouble.

"Don't worry Dean, this won't hurt… much." John said as he grinned cruelly, leaving no doubt about how much damage he really wanted to do. Just as he reached Dean however a puzzled look formed on his face as he looked around for the cause. "You!" he growled as he looked at Sam. "You have no idea what you are doing boy, let me go and I'll make sure you live."

Dean turned around and saw Sammy looking straight at their dad with intense concentration and he suddenly understood what was going on. "Sammy, you ok?" he asked, knowing that there was a huge difference between lifting towels with your mind and keeping a large grown man subdued in the same manner.

Sam barely glanced at Dean but nodded slightly as he forced his father back into the exam room and the chaos that was within. He waited for Dean to move some of the chairs out of the way and check on the other hunters before he allowed Dean to position their dad onto the bed and strap him back down all the while the older man's screaming was giving everyone conscious a headache. It took a heavier dose of the sedative Sam had been using, but finally the fighting stopped and he was able to relax his hold and check on the others quickly before succumbing to the headache that had been forming for so long. Vaguely he heard what sounded like his brother calling his name but he couldn't seem to pull himself out of the dark fog that was consuming him.

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Dean saw Sammy start to collapse and knew he would barely get there in time to keep his little brother's head from hitting the floor. He had no idea what to do since at the moment he was the only one conscious in the room and he had no idea how much damage his father had inflicted upon the others.

"Damn it Sammy, what's going on with you?" he asked as he stared down at his brother's face noting the rapid eye moment behind closed lids.

"Let's hope he's just having one hell of a vision and not completely crashing on us." Joshua groaned as he forced himself up on his elbow while taking a look around the room. "Damn, John can really do some damage."

Dean gave a humorless snort in agreement but didn't take his eyes off his little brother, something told him that there was more than what any of them had experienced before going on and he wanted to be close in case he was needed. "He checked on you guys before he passed out. I'm guessing you'll be fine."

Joshua nodded as he got up and checked Bobby first before removing the chair that was on top of him, then quickly moved to Jim who still hadn't stirred since he was tossed into oblivion by his long time friend.

"Damn it, don't tell me that idjit got the better of all of us… I'm not that old yet." Bobby groused as he gingerly sat up and took in his surroundings before setting his eyes on Sam. "How is he? Did John do that? How long's he been out? God tell me he didn't just pass out… anything but that."

"Calm down Bobby, if was the strain of everything I seriously doubt we'd have to question it, alright. So Dean, what did happen?" Joshua asked as he helped Jim in a chair and started to treat a cut on the clergyman's lip.

"I have no idea… one minute Dad's making a break for the door then started towards me like he was going to tear me apart, then… nothing. Sammy had him in a weird mind hold and we managed to get him back in here and strapped down so he could get knocked out again… then all of a sudden Sammy dropped like a stone." Dean said calmly even though everything in him was screaming 'THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.'

Nodding, the hunters seemed to understand what was going on and allowed Dean his time with his brother, there would be time for explanations later.

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Sam had no idea what was going on. He knew that he was still in his clinic with the people he considered family, but he also knew that what he was seeing wasn't where he was sure he was… in fact if he could describe what he was seeing it would be nothing… complete and absolute nothing.

Confused, he continued to look around what he could only describe as The Big Empty and was more curious than worried as to why he was there instead of with his family.

"Sam." The soft sound behind him startled him not because he didn't hear the person join him, but because of who it was.

"Jess?"

Smiling, Jess walked up to him and took his hand. "I've missed you, baby."

Stunned, Sam could only stare at her and whisper her name again before something occurred to him. "Why are you here? I thought…"

"I'm fine Sam; your Mother sent me to help you." Seeing his confusion she smiled sadly. "My sweet sweet Sam, you try so hard, but sometimes the best thing to do is to let go."

"What? No Jess… I can't, I have to…"

"Sam, listen to me… to beat this, you have to leave it alone."

Confused, he wasn't sure what to think, but sensing his time was limited he knew what to say. "I love you so much Jess. Please forgive me?"

"Sam, sweetie, you have done nothing to be forgiven for… you tried to save me, I know that, I saw that. Please Sam, it's time to let go."

Knowing that the subject had changed, he was about to argue with her when suddenly he was opening his eyes and looking into a pair of green eyes that matched his own… Dean.

"I think I know what we have to do."


	14. Chapter 14

AN: Sorry for the delay... it's been a stressful week and it's taken me days to get this written... hopefully it was worth the wait.

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Dean had no idea what to think. At the moment he was sitting in the kitchen staring at a cup of coffee trying not to think about what just happened, unfortunately the harder he tried to avoid it the harder it came to surface.

_Sam looked up at Dean and knew he was about to bring his brother's world crashing down, but he couldn't help it. "I know what we have to do." He said as he gingerly got up from the floor._

"_That's great Sammy! So you figured it out, huh? If I'd known that all it would have taken was for you to pass out, I would have knocked you out earlier." Dean joked; knowing that the tension everyone was feeling was getting out of hand._

_All Sam could do was look at Dean for a moment before he turned towards the bed and started unhooking the IV's from his father's arm before leaving the room quickly to make a phone call._

_Unsure about what was going on, Dean looked at the others but saw they were just as confused as he was. It wasn't until his brother walked back in and spoke that it made some sort of weird sense and he wondered just how badly he screwed everything up._

"_We've been feeding it, no matter what we do it just grows and it's making his body weaker." Seeing that he wasn't getting their understanding he shook his head. "Possession is usually accomplished when there is either physical, emotional, or mental turmoil… it's trying to take over his body so it'll be easier for its original host to do what it wants."_

"_Son, you know as well as I do that there's no way that…"_

"_I get that Bobby, normally I'd agree with you, but we've seen the outbursts which made me wonder if maybe whatever it is is close." Sam said sadly. He knew how much pride Bobby had taken in making sure that wherever he lived was as safe as possible, and now he was standing there telling him that his best might not have been good enough._

_Nodding, Bobby turned and left the room not looking or talking to anyone else. The sound of the back door opening and closing was the only sound heard._

Now he sat waiting for only who knew what to happen and he had to wonder if maybe he had started to trust someone too soon. Hearing a knock on the front door, he walked into the hallway in time to see a man in a paramedic uniform walking inside with what looked to be a small ice chest.

"Hey, the doc around?"

"Uh… yeah, hold on…"

"Henry, thanks for getting here so fast." Sam said as he walked out of the back room. "I know it's your day off but…"

Henry Anderson smiled and held up his hand. "Don't worry about it, as you so eloquently put it… I love any excuse to get the new rig out of the barn."

Smiling, Sam nodded and saw the stricken look on Dean's face. "Jeez Dean, calm down… he's been known to go on burger runs in that ambulance."

"Amazing how fast I can get around when I have the sirens on." Henry laughed before seeing himself to the door. He knew that if Sam was ordering whole blood, then there were other important issued to be dealt with. Now he just had to figure out an excuse as to why he had to go into Sioux Falls.

Confused, Dean looked at Sam and waited for an explanation but when none came he followed Sam into the lab where he was putting the ice chest on one of the counters.

"I wanted some blood on standby for when the virus finally fades out. When it does I'll start the transfusion." Sam said as he rubbed his face, still trying to get the image of his Jess out of his head.

"Transfusion… you're waiting for some demonic virus to what… suddenly disappear before you start a damn transfusion! Damn it… Dad was right; you're nothing but a selfish bastard!" Dean yelled as he left the lab and encountered Pastor Jim looking like he could eat through nails; definitely not a good look on the older man.

"Come with me Dean, I think it's time for us to have a talk." Jim said, not giving Dean any choice of the matter since he was already guiding him towards the front door and onto the porch.

"What is going on Dean? One minute you're willing to trust your brother with everything and now you're what… wanting to take it all back?" Jim asked the young hunter as they stood on the porch and looked out over the yard.

Dean couldn't believe he was being cornered like this. "Yeah, ok… you've made your point, Saint Sam strikes again."

Jim shook his head. "You know, after Sam understood that you weren't coming back for him he did everything he could to be a pain in the ass." Seeing Dean's shocked face he nodded and smiled grimly. "It was a very dark time that thankfully didn't last long, and I'm even more thankful that he survived it. Oh sure, he had help, but it was still a very dark time for him and one I'm hoping will never be repeated."

"Ok, so what does that have to do with me?" Dean asked wondering what he was missing.

Sighing, Jim smiled slightly but motioned to the area in front of them. "Dean what time is it? Don't you think that with what you've already learned about your brother that there should have been at least one patient by now?" Seeing that Dean was starting to understand what he was pointing out, he decided to add one more thing. "With most of a town already doubting the type of person he is, do you really think that Sam needs his brother doubting him too?"

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Sam knew that he probably deserved everything Dean was ready to lay at his feet, but at the moment he could only concentrate on two things, the dream he had of Jess and what the message had meant. He would have liked to say he was confident of his interpretation, but he had to be honest… he wasn't. Sighing, he looked at the latest blood sample and could only pray that they wouldn't be too late to do the transfusion. He previous patients bodies had wore out before the virus could fully take over, this was the first time he had been able to see the progression accelerate to this point and he was both fascinated and horrified at what he saw.

"Sam, you need to come in here." Joshua said from the doorway, his face showing his concern more than the tone he used.

Sensing that there had to be a major shift he quickly followed the other man into the other room and quickly took the vital signs before making a decision. "I'm not sure if it'll work, but I'll get the first batch of blood ready. Watch him please Josh… I know he doesn't deserve the title, but he's still my father, you know?"

Nodding, Joshua could only agree… John _didn't _deserve the title, but decided to let that slide for now. He was surprised when Sam turned back towards him when he reached the door.

"You know, he might be my father, but I've been really lucky to have so many Dads."

As night drew closer, the hunters continued their vigil on John all the while trying to convince Sam that he needed just as much rest as everyone else. With everyone taking turns upstairs to rest, it became evident that the young doctor was using his time in the lab or on his computer in his room and the lack of sleep was starting to take its toll as every now and again something would fall off a counter or drop off a wall showing just how much his telekinesis and his health was tied together. To make matters worse however, Dean refused to be in the same room as his brother going as far as leaving anytime the younger man walked into the room. Sam insisted that everyone leave his brother alone to deal with whatever it was that he needed to deal with, but the others couldn't help but wonder just how the situation could have turned so drastically once again.

"So you don't know what we're dealing with?" Caleb asked Bobby unsure of what to do with that information, after all Bobby was the go to guy on any number of subjects.

"Nah… and it bugs the hell out of me. I mean it's one thing to know that something's been creeping around the perimeter, but to think that maybe it found a chink to start working through makes my blood run cold… especially with the thought of Sam being the target." Bobby said clearly frustrated that he didn't have any answers.

Caleb nodded and looked back at John aware that the other man's breathing had started to calm a couple of hours previous. Joshua was upstairs trying to get some sleep while Jim was attempting to make some dinner without burning the house down, and they all knew that Sam had locked himself in his lab again going over everything from the beginning… starting with the first patient he had who had been affected by this virus.

"So what are we going to do to keep my geeky little brother safe?" Dean asked from the doorway surprising the other men. "What, you really thought I was mad at Sammy? Nah, just wished I knew what to do… since I don't I have to figure out a way to make sure everything else is taken care of so the one person around here who might have a clue doesn't fall flat on his face." He said with a grin as he held up a small bag. "Chocolate milkshake… figured if he's doing what I think he's doing he won't come up for air until this is all taken care of so maybe if he drinks this it'll buy us a little bit of time before he makes himself sick."

Shocked, the other hunters looked at each other before turning back to the now empty doorway suddenly realizing just how much they had underestimated Dean. The sudden coughing coming from the bed made both Bobby and Caleb look at John in surprise.

"Dude…what the hell?" John croaked out while looking around the room in total confusion.

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Dean knew what the others had thought about him throughout the day, but he really couldn't bring himself to care. Seeing his brother interact with everyone so easily while he, his own brother, had to regain some semblance of normalcy was often just too much. His outburst about Sammy being selfish only held a grain of truth, but when he examined the motives behind it he realized it was because he was jealous of what his brother had gained without him.

Not sure what else to do, he started to look around for things to do and found the house itself had more than just a few things that needed adjusting and the old vehicle that he'd seen his brother drive was in decent shape but still needed a bit of TLC, but he spent the majority of time going around the property to see what type of protection Bobby had set up and had to admit he was impressed especially with some of the sigils that was camouflaged to look like foliage on a tree. It was obvious that the old hunter loved Sammy, but that was the thing… so did he. It didn't take a genius to see what his brother was doing so it made more sense to go into town and get something from the diner than to try to temp Sammy to eat with some mangled concoction that Jim was trying to put together.

Not bothering to knock he opened the door to the lab and quietly walked in and watched silently as his brother grumbled to himself as he rushed back and forth between notes and a whiteboard occasionally scribbling some obscure note on the board before repeating the process. He continued to watch until he remembered what he had in his hand.

"Hey Sammy… brought you something."

Startled, Sam turned around and stared at Dean. "What?" he asked, sure he had missed something important.

Laughing, Dean pulled out the milkshake from the sack and held it out to his brother. "Thought you could use a little reprieve from Jim's cooking."

Taking the cup from his brother Sam shook his head. "Actually his cooking has gotten better." Seeing Dean's disbelief he smiled. "Ok, it's actually gotten more edible."

Nodding, Dean returned Sam's smile before motioning to the whiteboard. "So… whatcha doin' besides driving yourself crazy?"

Sam shook his head. "I know it doesn't look like a lot, but it's every bit of data I've been able to put together. I really thought I was getting closer, but now it looks like it's mutated… it's not behaving like it was."

"Which is frustrating you to the point of forgetting to eat and sleep." Dean said wryly.

"I eat…" Sam practically whined suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going.

"Uh huh… you do know that eating means more than grabbing a handful of Doritos and heading back out the door." Dean said, not surprised by the shocked look on Sammy's face.

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. "This from the guy who thinks M&M's are a food group?"

Laughing, Dean motioned at the empty cup. "Got you to finish that didn't I?"

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

A slight knock on the door brought their attention back to their current situation and they turned to see Caleb sticking his head in the doorway. "John's awake, barely but awake."


	15. Chapter 15

Dean stood in disbelief as he watched his brother rush out the door to tend to their dad. It wasn't that he had thought Sammy would ignore the man once became conscious, but he had briefly wondered what his reaction would be. Now though he had to deal with his own, after all it wasn't everyday that a person finds out that they had been lied to every day for years in order to keep you away from the only person you felt truly comfortable around; worse yet, that that same person purposely set out to completely obliterate any feelings you had for that same little brother.

Sighing, he leaned back against a cabinet and wondered, not for the first time, what life would have been like if he hadn't believed that Sammy had turned away from him. Knowing that hindsight never really solved anything he was ready to chalk it up to lessons learned when suddenly a horrible thought occurred to him and he could no longer stand still, instead he rushed to demand the answers that had been denied him for so long.

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Sam was more than a little nervous. He was about to come face to face with the very man who had turned his back on him years ago and he had no idea how he was going to deal with it. Pushing his personal feelings to the back of his mind he quickly made it down the hallway and into the back room once again thankful that there was no one in the clinic at the moment. Walking through the threshold he barely glanced at the others as he went to the counter and retrieved the items he knew he needed.

"Boy, if you think you're sticking me with that thing you better have a bigger army than these clowns behind you." John said gruffly as he eyed the syringe and tubes in Sam's hand.

Ignoring the remarks around him, Sam looked at his father in the eye. "If you really wanted to die you would have pulled the trigger yourself instead of expecting Dean to do it, so don't lay there acting as if you have a choice in the matter. Now… give me your arm so I can make sure the virus is gone, then you can do whatever you want."

John stared at Sam before allowing the younger man to take blood from his arm. He was about to make a very rude comment when he saw Dean rush inside and he had a feeling that his day had just gone from bad to worse. Looking around he could tell that the others sensed it too and wasn't surprised when they all left him and his son alone as soon as Sam rushed once again out of the room.

Shutting the door, Dean took the moment to try to put things into perspective, but he found he couldn't justify what his dad had done. Any other situation he would have backed him up without question knowing that there was a good reason behind whatever decision had been made, but now he had to wonder how many times his blind loyalty was the wrong road to take.

"So, mind telling me the real reason why we left Sammy?" he asked before turning back to the man on the bed, secretly hoping that there was some bigger plan they he just hadn't been told about yet.

"Nope, not really."

Dean smirked before nodding, "Yeah, didn't think so. So how's this, I talk you listen and then by the time we're done Sammy can let you know how much time you have before I kick you to the curb." Seeing his father's shock Dean continued cutting John off. "That's right. As soon as you're well enough to get someplace else, then I'll make sure someone gets you out of here. Do you have any idea what you've done Dad?" he demanded as he approached the bed.

"Yeah, I was saving your ass Dean! How long do you think it would have been before he messed everything up more than he has already?" John questioned Dean, trying to justify what he'd done without revealing his true motives.

"Right, so that's why you tossed him to the wolves, right? You wanted to see if they would take the bait." Dean demanded as he started pacing across the room. "You know, I couldn't figure out what was going on in your head, but now I'm pretty sure I have. You thought he was some sort of demonic spy didn't you? Sure, not purposely, but we've seen some weird things, and you probably figured that the damn demon was able to tap into Sammy somehow, right? Well guess what… you were wrong. All this time that you were trying to outsmart old yellow eyes, my little brother was trying his damndest to make everyone else give up on him too." He gave his father a moment before started towards the door again. "I'm glad that he was able to have a little bit of happiness, 'cause it's damn obvious that he was never going to get it from you."

John watched as his son left and he had to wonder where exactly he went wrong. He could understand where Dean would think those things, but mostly his boy was wrong. He had been ready for the demon, but the cost would have been too high.

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Joshua looked at Bobby and knew it was taking everything the older man had not to wring Winchester's neck. He knew that Jim was upstairs attempting to find a safe house for John to stay until he was back on his feet, but he couldn't help but think that that was the wrong way to go. There were too many issues that were just starting to come to light and he knew that if there was any chance of Dean knowing the full truth then everything needed to come out in the open.

"Do you really think that's going to solve anything?" Caleb asked quietly as he leaned back against the wall looking at the other hunter shrewdly. "Don't look surprised, it's all over your face. How do you think Dean's going to react when he finds out that Sam's known about the missing pieces to the puzzle for awhile… hell how do you think he's going to react anyway, he's his dad's shadow you know."

Irritated, Joshua knew that this was the wrong time to get into this, but he couldn't just let it go… not with what they knew. "Yeah, and how do you think Sam's going to deal when Dean finds out later and turns his back on him again? If you think he'll bounce back from that then your fooling yourself."

"Fooling yourself about what?" Dean asked from the kitchen entryway knowing that he'd walked into what seemed to be a powder keg.

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John had dosed lightly until he heard the door open and instinctively knew who it was and wondered if it was too late to go to sleep for real. Feeling Sam's long fingers resting upon his wrist, he waited until his youngest son spoke before he opened his eyes and acknowledge his alertness.

"You haven't told Dean." Sam stated simply, knowing that he was right when his father's eyes flickered slightly before settling once again. Nodding, he took a step back and looked at the man before him with curiosity. "You helped fix up the clinic didn't you?"

Taking a deep breath John weighed his options and knew that if he failed to answer then he would be the coward his friends had once accused him of being. "Yeah… Joshua and Bobby were handling a werewolf in Utah and Jim knew that you weren't going to be back for awhile because you were caught up at the hospital finishing your residency."

Nodding, Sam thought about that. "Yeah, I thought something was up when I walked in and the room was completely finished and ready to go… Jim's scary with a hammer and Caleb gets sidetracked too easily."

Laughing lightly John agreed. "Yeah, neither one were that much help but I'm glad we got it done… you've helped a lot of hunters."

"As opposed to what you thought I'd be doing, right?" Sam asked, already knowing the answer.

"I had my reasons…"

"I already know your reasons. It's hard not to figure it out when a demon is tormenting you while you're dying in a hospital bed. It's hard not to know what was going through your mind when everything's laid out so plainly that you prayed for death instead of the knowledge of what the damn demon had planned all along. I just want to know why you didn't come and tell me that the best way to get rid of it was to either use me as bait, or kill me. 'Cause you know what… if you had just told me, I would have walked away myself and let whatever happen, happen. I would have done everything I could to make sure you and Dean were safe, but you left me to think that I was worthless… do you have any idea how that feels?"

Not looking at Sam, John tried not to allow himself to feel the pain he was feeling. He had hoped that the others would have been able to help his youngest son through the adjustment of not having his brother and father right there with him. It hadn't been until he started to hear rumors of how reckless his boy had become that he worried that maybe he had been too late and that the demon had won. Now though, after taking a step back, he was able to see what he had done had been the worst possible thing to do, it had left his boy open to attack at the worst possible moments of his life and if he could do it all over again he wouldn't make the same mistakes.

"I did what I thought needed to be done. You might not agree with it, but there was so much riding on it and I took the easy way out. I just didn't want to risk losing anyone else." John said quietly, hoping that they could get over this soon because he was starting to feel as if his head were being crushed by a vise. It wasn't until Sam spoke again that he understood that he didn't explain himself well.

"I know, you didn't want to risk Dean anymore."

Horrified, John turned and looked at Sam intently. "No Sam! I didn't want to lose you! If we had used you to track the demon and bring it to us I could have lost you and that would have killed me. I already lost your mom… I couldn't lose the last gift she gave me."

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Bobby knew he should have sewed Caleb's mouth shut years ago, but with Dean's question he wondered if it was too late to still do that. Looking at the youngest hunter among them he motioned for Dean to sit down.

"Well since you heard some of it, how about you telling us just how much you actually heard."

"Nope, how about you all actually answer a question without stringing me along." Dean said as he continued to stand and glare at the others. He knew something big was going on and it had something to do with Sammy. Looking around he wondered exactly what it was he didn't know and just how badly it could affect his little brother.

Before anyone could answer Sam walked in to get a small bottle of juice out of the refrigerator. "The virus is gone, he's resting right now. I've hooked him up to another bag of whole blood, so if you could unhook him for me when it's done then I'm going to go upstairs and get some sleep." Worried, Bobby was in the process of standing to go after the younger man when Sam turned around and smiled. "I'm not dying Bobby… it's just sleep, I promise." He said before walking back out of the kitchen.

Dean had no idea what to think about what his brother said and looked around. "What the hell was that all about?" he demanded harshly.

Sighing, Caleb shoved himself away from the wall and made his way to the door. "When your brother pushes himself this far he has a hard time staying in one… uh… reality?" Seeing Dean's confusion, he shrugged his shoulders. "He has a tendency to dream walk if he's too tired to stay focused. I won't lie to you Dean. Usually it's kind of funny, but there's been times…" taking a deep breath he looked back at the others and saw their agreement. "Dean, there's been times that he's stopped breathing because he's gotten hurt in someone else's nightmares."


	16. Chapter 16

AN: Ok, I have no idea what to think about this chapter, I hope you all like it though. Oh... and who else couldn't believe Dean's 180? 'You're not going darkside, I won't let you.' my ass!!

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It was pretty obvious to anyone who knew Sammy that the kid was exhausted, he was actually snoring lightly as he slept oblivious to Dean's entrance into his room. Satisfied that he wasn't disturbing his little brother, he looked around the room for a moment before he found a chair in the corner and brought it closer to the bed; he wasn't going to allow anyone close to Sammy without a fight. He had barely acknowledged how quiet the room seemed when his own eyelids started to slide shut though.

_Looking around Dean wondered what was going on. Sure he'd had some vivid dreams before, but this felt completely different. It wasn't until he heard a familiar voice behind him that he suddenly wished he was anywhere but here._

"_Jess, I have to go. I promised your dad that I'd spend one day with him before the two of you went back home." Sam said, trying to placate the young woman in front of him._

"_Home… I like the sound of that Singer." Jess said with a wanton smile. "Promise me again that as soon as you graduate you'll come home for good."_

_Smiling, Sam kissed Jess passionately before looking into her eyes and promised, "My home is anywhere you are, Jess. I love you and I'll do whatever I have to, to make this work."_

_Jessica knew that when Sam made a promise, he kept it. Stretching herself slightly she whispered in his ear. "Hurry back, baby… I have a surprise for you."_

'_Not as much of one as I have for you.' Sam thought as he went over in his head what he would ask Jessica's dad._

_Dean watched and knew instinctively that this was a memory and a very happy one if his brother's smile was anything to go by. He was almost embarrassed by his intrusion into it, but quickly dismissed that thought as soon as he saw the scene change and his Samdar started to kick in. He saw his brother and a tall slender man walking towards him with huge smiles on their faces, but before he had a chance to wonder what was going on he actually heard part of their conversation and he felt as if someone had just punched him in the gut._

"_Sam, I know you'll take good care of my little girl, I have no doubt about that. Now I know you haven't asked her yet, but I was wondering if you'd indulge a sentimental father with the privilege of paying for the wedding." Mr. Moore said before he held up his hand. "Now I know that neither of you will want anything extravagant, but I was hoping to allow history to repeat itself… Jessica's mother and I were married on the beach with only our closest family and friends to stand with us, but the outrageous reception afterwards was for everyone." Seeing the shock on Sam's face made the other man smile, but that smile faded as soon as he saw his future son-in-law grab his head and drop to his knees in pain. "SAM!"_

_Not knowing what to do, Dean stood helplessly as Sammy told the other man that they needed to get back to Jess. He had no idea what was happening, but he was definitely dreading finding out. The sound of a fire alarm brought him back to a whole other scene and what he saw terrified him more than anything else he could think of… his baby brother had rushed into a burning room to save his girlfriend. He rushed forward to help, forgetting that he was merely an observer, and he prayed that this was just some sort of twisted version of what happened, but as the flames started to engulf his brother and make his task of untying the ropes harder he understood that even his mind wasn't that demented to make something like that up. It wasn't until Sammy was tackled by firefighters and knocked out that Dean's perception changed once again, this time leaving the victim's visage forever burned into his brain._

"_Mr. Singer, I have to be honest with you. With the trauma that Samuel has experienced, the infection that's trying to take hold even with all our precautions is making more headway than we are in preventing it. I'm sorry sir, but it is still a possibility that we'll lose him before he fully wakes."_

_Feeling suckerpunched, Dean looked between Bobby and the other hunters gathered in front of a large window before he turned and saw his brother hooked to numerous machines that were monitoring his vital signs for any changes, then to the bandages that covered the severely burnt hands, arms and torso._

'_What the hell Sammy… how did I not know about this.' He thought as he watched a machine do the hard work of breathing for his little brother. He didn't know how long he stayed there staring at the prone body in front of him but the rest of the world seemed to move in fast forward, leaving him to his own devices. However it was during one of Sammy's slumps that Dean noticed something and he started to concentrate on it more… his little brother was standing outside his body next to a man with yellow eyes; the demon!_

_Momentarily forgetting that he wasn't actually there, Dean moved to tackle the thing that had destroyed his family. It wasn't until he managed to pass through the demon's host and land across the room that he was finally able to focus on the discussion his brother was having, and God he now wished he hadn't._

"_All you have to do Sammyboy is come with me and I'll make it all go away… no madman killing pretty little Jess… no fire… no dying body lying there all alone in the world. All you have to do is say one. little. word… yes… and you can go back to living that wonderful life of yours."_

"_Right, you'll just snap your fingers and give me everything back… no strings attached." Sam said as he rolled his eyes before once again turning his attention towards his body that seemed to have trouble staying stabilized at the moment._

"_Let me make myself perfectly clear… you don't agree, you lose everything." The demon said lowly as he moved his hand slightly and suddenly the machines started to whine causing nurses and doctors alike to rush into the room. "Or you could just do what you've always done… die and no one notice until it's too late."_

_Sam ignored the doctors and nurses and turned to the demon before grasping the host on the arm. "You forget one thing… you might have had plans for me and the others, but we're the ones who decide."_

_The demon laughed before turning back to the action unfolding in front of them. "Ah yes… there's that optimism you're known for… wonder how you're going to feel once you find out the truth. That the only reason why I'm still around is because your dear sweet daddy didn't want to lose his perfect son… his soldier. Oh, that's right, you don't know." He said as he leaned closer Sam and whispered, "He found the secret weapon that would have destroyed me, would have ended my plans once and for all." Pulling back he watched as the hospital staff fought to bring the young man back and he smirked. "But he knew that Dean would never have let you act as the lure to bring me close. Your brother would have rather died himself than allow you to risk yourself… why do you think that dear old dad just walked away and never looked back? Did you really think it was just because you were useless to him? No Sammy… it was because he knew that you were the cause of it all and he prayed every night that he could find a way to stop you from killing anyone else. Hell, he still does."_

"_DAMN IT, SAMMY… DON'T LISTEN… DEMONS LIE!" Dean screamed even though he knew that his brother couldn't hear… but what happened next stopped his next words in his throat. He stood transfixed as he watched in shock as his brother turned towards the demon._

"_GET OUT!" Sam demanded before he grabbed the man once again and repeated, "GET OUT!"_

_The demon dissolved into nothing, leaving the apparition Sam to watch as his body starting to once again stabilize before the room emptied of the staff._

Dean woke with a start and saw his little brother still caught in up in the nightmare but before he could reach over to try to wake him Sam bolted straight up with eyes wide open and a gasp caught in his chest. Feeling awkward, Dean did the only thing he could. "Well… that was different." He said attempting to bring Sammy's focus back to the here and now but only succeeded in sending the younger man falling out of bed and onto the floor.

"Whoa Sammy… dude, you ok?" Dean asked, concerned that something else had happened after he left the dreamworld he had witnessed.

"Oh God… tell me it wasn't real… please tell me it was just a strange nightmare like walking through school halls naked." Sam practically whimpered. It wasn't until he felt himself cringe under his brother's touch that he understood that it had actually happened… somehow he had pulled his brother into his dream and didn't that scare the piss right out of him. "Oh God… I'm so sorry Dean… I'm so sorry…"

Puzzled, Dean had no idea what to think but instinctively knew that he needed to do something before his little brother came completely undone. "Sammy… it's ok, look at me, you didn't do anything wrong. Sure it was odd, but c'mon, what isn't in our lives right?" he asked, hoping that if he kept Sammy talking then it would calm both of them down because with what he saw he knew he needed some major answers. "All that happened, huh?"

Taking another deep breath, Sam first nodded then shook his head. "Yeah, most of it… I mean it was missing stuff." Sam whispered before looking from the floor to anywhere but Dean.

"Like what? I mean I get that it was more like sections of memories, but…"

"That was the last time he visited me. The other times he would drag me to the past to watch how things used to be… how I messed up and Dad would get pissed. At the time it made sense why you and he left… it was better for both of you… but then…"

"He dropped the mother of all bombshells on you, right?" Dean asked, understanding perfectly how Sammy was feeling. Knowing that they could have stopped the bastard years ago didn't sit well with him and he had to ask. "So, this secret weapon… what exactly is it?"

Sam turned and looked at Dean, knowing that if there was any chance of him and his brother regaining what they lost then he had to tell him, and pray that it wouldn't make a difference. "Me."

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It didn't take long for word to get around that there was going to be meeting to decide what to do about Ms. Millie's will, the problem was there were a lot of people who hadn't really cared how Ms. Millie spent her money and they thought she had the right to burn it to the four winds if she really wanted. However there were still quite a few who believed that the sweet old woman had succumbed to false promises from a certain young doctor. Of course if those rumors were started by no other than Brenda's husband, then it was usually just ignored… not many people really listened anyway… just those who were crazy enough to listen to his solution.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: Ok, I really hope that you all like this one, and again, I'm soooo sorry for not updating sooner... if you want to know what's going on, check out my profile, I'll have a little note there.

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Sam waited for the explosion to happen, but when silence continued in the room, he looked at his brother and saw the shock and lack of understanding. Sighing, he levered himself off the floor and hated that he had allowed that little bit of information to slip out. Now he was going to have to find a way to deal with the fallout, and he wasn't exactly sure how to do that.

"Uh, Sammy? What do you mean it's you?" Dean asked, still staring at the spot his little brother had vacated.

"Dad knew that I had the ability to kill it, but no one knew what would happen if I did so he made the decision not to risk it. I didn't know about that until Jim told me, and even he didn't know everything." Sam said quietly as he looked out the window. "The original plan was that I would be used to lead the demon close enough to trap it, then I could try to get rid of it. But, he knew that you wouldn't risk me and could get killed in the process of trying to protect me. Now the demon's still running around and everyone that gets close to me dies."

Dean stared at his brother not believing what he was hearing. "So you're telling me that you have some sort of mojo that'll kill the bastard, and the only reason why you haven't done it is because why?"

Not knowing what else to do, Sam continued to stare out the window and waited for Dean's outburst to stop echoing throughout the room. He knew he had been wrong in letting him in on that little piece of information, then again he couldn't just let Dean stay oblivious to what had caused their lives to be torn apart to begin with.

"Sammy, I'm asking you a question here. Why didn't you do it anyway?" Dean asked as he turned to look at the younger man, but as he saw his little brother turn around he instantly knew the answer. "It would kill you too wouldn't it?" he asked, and seeing the flicker of doubt that flashed across his brother's face he couldn't contain his anger. "DAMNIT!" he yelled as he turned and ran his fist through the plaster and slats that formed the wall.

"DEAN!" Sam shouted in horror as he watched his brother do something so horrendous, he wasn't sure what to do about it. Rushing over, he grabbed Dean's hand and gently looked it over until he was convinced that his brother was still the toughest man he knew. "You idiot, you're lucky you didn't break it!"

Scoffing, Dean shook his head. It always made him laugh at the thought that his little brother was more concerned about everyone else than himself. "You know what, you really take the cake, you know that right?" he asked before he noticed the self depreciating look on Sammy's face. "I mean, no matter what else is going on, you're always worried about everyone else – especially when you should be worried about yourself."

"Look Dean, I get that you're pissed at me, but at the moment it doesn't help. Right now we need to get…"

"Right now we need to get you some rest before something else weird happens, got me?" Dean demanded but changed his tone when he saw the defeated look on his little brother's face. "Dude, do you really think that everything's going to stay nice and rosy for you here?" he asked as he pushed Sammy towards the bed. "Man, you really did, didn't you? Fine, you sleep. I need to get a few answers and I won't be able to do that if you're tripping around in someone else's head. So get some sleep and we'll talk again in a few hours, ok?"

Sam had no idea what just happened, one minute he was listening to Dean yell at him for not stopping the demon sooner, the next he was practically being tucked in as if he were still three. Finally settling on the reasoning that this whole episode was some sort of bizarre dream that his unconsciousness had cooked up to really confuse him, he decided that he'd play along if for no other reason than the avoid the headache later. It took only a moment to settle into the pillow close his eyes, welcoming the warmth that sleep had to offer him.

As Dean watched his Sammy drift back to sleep he couldn't seem to get the conversation out of his head and knew that if anyone had the whole story, it was the man downstairs.

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Brenda didn't like what she was hearing around town and she was determined to stop it going from going any further, however she really didn't feel comfortable doing what she was about to. As her hand paused at the door she thought about how many times she had tried to keep her extended family out of it, but somehow they always seemed to know what was going on between her and Keith. Making her decision she knocked on the door firmly and waited for it to open.

"Bren? What's wrong, you ok?" Dan asked, as he took in her overall appearance to check for some sort of sign of what had his soon to be ex-sister-in-law knocking on his door.

"Dan, I have a problem and I need your help. Keith is calling everyone he knows and is trying to…"

"Get a lynch mob together to go after Sam?" he asked as he nodded his understanding. "Yeah, I know. I've limited his phone calls and visitors, but I think he's already got the footwork laid out for this. All I can do right now is try to get everyone to calm down before they do something stupid." He could tell the protests that were forming, but he held up his hand. "I already know about the meeting, but I also know that hardly anyone will be there. Ms. Millie did a lot of good for a lot of people, and those who really knew her know that there was no way she could be brainwashed; she was too headstrong."

Smiling, Brenda knew that Dan was right and she felt better knowing that he was already aware of the problem that was brewing. Feeling that she did what she had set out to do, she turned to leave and made it to her car before she realized she wasn't alone. "Dan, I know that Keith's your brother, but I do appreciate what you've done for me and kids. I really don't know what we would have done without you."

Dan knew what Brenda was talking about and he had to wonder how she found out. "I get why you're not using the money in the bank Bren, but if you want your grandmother's memory to live on, then you really need to accept what she's given you. Of course that doesn't mean that Mom and I are just going to leave you and the kids alone. You're family, no matter what my idiot brother says, ok?" he asked, hoping he got the message across, because there was no way he'd stand by and watch her and the kids just drift away from them.

Brenda nodded with a slight smile and got back into her car anxious to get back to the kids, even if they all were extremely cranky right now. It wasn't until he had made it further down the road that she thought about Dan and how she was now sure she had married the wrong brother.

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The door to the back room opened quietly, but that didn't keep the other hunters from picking up on the sound. As Dean walked in everyone knew that he wasn't there just to check up on his dad, he had a reason and they all had a feeling that they knew what it was about.

"Leave." Dean said firmly as he motioned to the door. He wanted to hear it from his father the real reason why they left Sammy alone in a world that was unsafe for him, he needed to hear what was going through the man's head when he made the decision that did more damage to their family in that short amount of time than the demon had managed to do that night so long ago.

Bobby was more than a little hesitant about leaving both men alone, but thought better of staying behind, there was just something in Dean's stature at the moment that warned against intrusion.

John had a feeling he knew what this was about but he wasn't going to volunteer anything in case he was wrong. Watching his oldest son look at him like that though was more than a little unnerving, and he was about to call him on it when once again Dean beat him to it.

"So, were you really going to sacrifice your son just to get rid of that damn thing?" Dean demanded. He was certain that had been the plan all along, but for whatever reason his dad had backed off it, and he wanted to know the real reason why; he was tired of being blindsided by his own damn family.

"Dean, you need to understand that at the time it was the only way." John said heavily. He had never really thought about the consequences of what would have happened if he hadn't stopped that hunt, he knew he couldn't face the truth of losing both his boys, but then again isn't that what had happened anyway. Looking up he realized that Dean hadn't spoken, hadn't interrupted, was just waiting for the rest and after everything he'd put his son, no – both his sons through, he knew he had to give him this one thing. "I didn't know what would happen at first. The summoning ritual was pretty straightforward, using one of the children that Azazel had visited as a focal point would draw the bastard exactly where we wanted it when we wanted it. I never really thought too much about how we'd get rid of the bastard, I just thought it was part of the whole ritual process, until I got another translation finished and realized that for it to succeed in killing the demon, it would need to drain all the energy, psychic and not out of the very person that had drawn the demon to him. Dean, once I read that, I knew that I couldn't do it, I couldn't lose both my boys to the very thing that killed your mother."

"Right, so let me get this straight. You find out that Sammy's some sort of power house psychic before he shows any signs and you just magically figure out how to destroy the demon we've spent our whole damn lives trying to find, but then you do a complete about face and decide not to do it out of the goodness of your heart all the while ripping your family apart in the process." Dean said tightly, letting anyone who was listening know that he wasn't buying it. "You know, Sammy was right. You are so damn self absorbed that you can't see a damn thing that's around you. How many times had he asked a question and you either blew him off or got mad for questioning you? The kicker here is that he should have been asking a lot more questions and I should have been paying better attention."

"Dean, look… I'm not proud of what I've done, but at the time it was the only way I could see to continue the hunt and keep Sammy safe…"

"It's SAM, and safe? Dad, do you have any idea what you really did? He wasn't safe, he was torn apart and hell bent to do himself in. My God man, don't you get it? He said that if his own family didn't want him, then he had to be really bad. You weren't protecting him Dad, you were throwing him to the wolves. What would you have done if the damn demon showed back up and took him right out from everyone's noses, huh? Can you really lay there and tell me you haven't thought about that? 'Cause let me tell you something, I haven't known about this for near as long as you, but that thought right there makes my blood run cold."

John laid there and watched as Dean finished his tirade and knew that his son was right, he had basically served his youngest boy up on a platter for the demon to have, but that was in the past; they were there now.

"Don't get any ideas. As soon as you can sit up longer than half an hour, you're out of here. Sammy doesn't need you screwing him up anymore than life already has. God, Dad… he was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, even had her father's permission, but she was killed before he had a chance. Do you know he ran into the fire to try and rescue her? The firemen had to knock him out to pull him away from the blaze. We weren't there when he was dying and that damn demon kept showing up telling him how worthless we thought he was. I'm not going to let that happen again. He's my little brother, and damn it, he's not facing this alone. You want to hunt so damn badly, then go ahead, I won't stop you, but you're not using Sammy… not anymore."

With that last bit said, Dean left the room, leaving a very stunned John behind.


	18. Chapter 18

_AN: I hope everyone likes this chapter... see you soon!

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The park outside the hotel was covered in snow causing a picturesque scene that would have been breathtaking, if he had any breath left; his gaze was focused on not the area around him, but on the smiling angel by his side. She always claimed to love snow, but somehow he'd never quite placed what she meant then to the childlike delight she showed now.

"_Jess…" he whispered as he continued to watch her smile with her face turned up to allow the small flakes a place to land. She was beautiful in every way he could imagine and he knew without a doubt that she was the one he'd love for the rest of his life. Reaching out towards her he was puzzled by the sudden warmth surrounding her until he noticed the area around them was no longer the park, but the room he had reserved for them. "Jess!" he yelled, hoping to pull her to safety, to save her this time if for no other reason than to make amends._

"_Sam, it's not your time. You need to let go baby, let go." Jess said sadly as she turned to him and blew him a kiss before her form turned to ash and scattered throughout the room._

"JESS!!!" Sam screamed as he bolted straight up from his bed and out of his nightmare. He took a moment to look around as he gulped in huge lungs full of air. Seeing that it was just another nightmare he groaned deeply and debated whether to risk the wrath of Dean for not listening to his advice. Knowing that he wouldn't get back to sleep, he quietly made his way down the stairs and out the door, hoping that he could pull himself back together before facing his brother again.

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Dean had spent the last hour going over his conversation with his brother in his head and he had to admit that nothing seemed to have changed; he still wanted to protect Sammy, he was still pissed at his Dad, and he still wondered what the other men were thinking by keeping all of that information to themselves. Groaning, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked up towards the ceiling, not really seeing the pale color on the plaster.

"I'm glad you're making the right decision." Caleb said quietly as he walked into the kitchen and pulled a fresh cup out of the cabinet. Seeing Dean's puzzlement he smiled and shook his head. "Honestly kid, I figured this could go one of two ways; you find out about Sam and turn into the same ass as your father, or you find out about Sam and pull your head out of your ass."

Smirking, Dean smiled slightly while watching the older man pour the coffee. It took him only a moment though to make Caleb start choking on the hot liquid. "So, if Dad's such an ass, then what does that make you? Each and every one of you knew what was going on but you chose not to say anything and let Sam think he was alone, so how does that make you any better than us?"

"Damn it!" Caleb cried out as he spit out his coffee into the small trash can. "Dean, it wasn't like that. John wouldn't take our calls most of the time and even had some mutual contacts turn away from us and the kid. It took years before we were able to knock some sense into that daddy of yours, all the while Sam looked at us as if we were next out the door. So no… you don't get to stand there and turn this back on us. You're the one who followed John like a lost puppy without thinking twice about it."

Dean knew he deserved that because it was more true than what he liked to admit; Dad said 'let's go' and he walked away without bothering to double checking the facts, never once thought the man would lie to him – especially about Sammy. Taking a deep breath he was about respond when he heard his brother's yell. 'Damn, I thought he'd get a little more time.' He thought as he started towards the hall.

"Give him a minute Dean; he needs a chance to pull himself together." Caleb said knowingly. Seeing the younger man ignore him and walk out of the room made him mutter irritatingly to himself. "Stubborn Winchesters."

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Sam walked towards the back of the property, hoping to get a few minutes alone unseen. He hated feeling the shift within himself when he'd waken suddenly out of a nightmare, as if he had been yanked through time and space with no consideration to the frail human body and psyche that he possessed. Looking around he knew where he was and even what time it was, but that didn't alleviate his concern. Normally his clinic had at least a couple of visitors per day; it was something that he had come to count on to help keep him anchored to the here and now. Now though he had to admit his lack of patients sent a quiver of fear through him as he worried about how much longer he had before he was run out of town.

"Hey, the party's inside you know." Dean called out as he approached. He's watched his brother walk towards the back tree line and worried that the kid was trying to find a cliff to jump off of. It amazed him that as much as Sammy had grown into manhood, he was still just as insecure as he had been as a kid. "So, where we headin' Sammy?" he asked, hoping to get some sort of conversation going – he wasn't one who liked uncomfortable silence.

"What are you doing here Dean?" Sam asked, as he turned and looked at his older brother. The clouds were trying to obscure the light coming from the moon and the stars, giving off moving shadows in wavering shapes. "Seriously Dean, you could have left already, but you're still here – why?"

Dean stared at Sammy and wondered, not for the first time, what was going through his brother's head. "Where was I supposed to go Sammy?" he asked confused. "Seriously kiddo, what are you talking about?"

Shaking his head a moment, Sam turned around to look at the area around him before looking up at the night sky. He had no idea what he was talking about. One minute he knew that he was supposed to be alone, the next he was sensing those closest to him; it would have been more unnerving if he'd lost control again and started sensing the whole town, that was one experience he was hoping never to repeat again.

"Sam… Sammy, you need to talk to me. What's going on with you?" Dean asked as he watched the lost look on the younger man's face slowly fade until finally it was his brother once again looking him. He was about to ask another question when he stopped at the sudden plea that fell out of his brother's mouth.

"I just need some sleep Dean… real sleep. Can you look after everyone – just for a day Dean?"

Dean nodded, concerned as he watched Sammy slowly make his way back to the house. "Ok… what the hell?"

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John was starting to feel almost human, which was amazing considering how long he had actually felt like something a werecat had thrown up. He watched as Jim continued to read a book that looked older than Methuselah, and Bobby continued to stare daggers at him. The only ones missing were Caleb and Joshua, and for the moment he was thankful they were AWOL, he didn't think he could stand watching them growling at him too.

Leaning back against the pillow he allowed his thoughts to stray towards his youngest son and how badly he had actually failed him. No, that wasn't right – he was still failing him. When they heard his yell earlier, he saw each of the men who he had called friend tense up until they heard a door open and close. He had been about to get up and go after the boy, but the others had explained that Sam normally walked around the property after a nightmare, something about it helping him remember where and when he was. It didn't make too much sense to him, but then again he couldn't judge because at the moment they could read his moods a lot better than he could.

"Ok, I'm done. Either help me out of this bed, or stay out of the way." John ground out as he attempted to swing his legs over the side by himself.

"So that's it?" Bobby sneered, "He patches you up and you leave us to deal with the fallout?"

"Actually, I wanted up so I could make sure my son was ok – is that alright with you, or do I need a special invitation now to talk to him?" John asked as he looked at the other man with contempt. He couldn't help himself; no matter how much he'd screwed up, he still couldn't let it go. "He's not your son Singer, no matter how much you want him to be."

Jim knew what was about to happen, but he wasn't as young as he used to be and springing up out of a chair after spending hours sitting still wasn't helping matters any. The sound of Bobby's fist connecting to John's face echoed throughout the room for a moment before only the sound of breathing could once again be heard. Staring at the men before him, he wondered what he had ever done to get caught in the middle of two obstinate asses.

"If you two are finished, I'd like to say a few words; mainly on how both of you are going about this all wrong." Jim said firmly as he glared at both men. "You're both starting to act as if Sam is some bone to be fought over instead of the caring intelligent man that he is."

"Now wait a minute Jim," Bobby said as he squared himself towards the priest. "I'm not the one who thinks he can go around ripping people's hearts out and expect everything to be fine and dandy when he's ready to come back into their lives."

John made to say something but the sound of the front door opening and not closing made them all pause until they heard Dean's voice.

"Look Sammy, you do what you need to, I'll make sure no one bothers you."

"If someone needs something… I don't know, send them to Sioux Falls? Just… really… I need…"

"I get it Sammy, I do. Now get to bed, we'll take it from here."

Concerned, Jim looked out the open door and into the hall to see Caleb doing the same thing.

"It's worse than we thought Jim. The kid looks wrecked." Caleb said quietly as he stepped into the middle of the hallway before facing Dean. "He alright?"

"Sure, he's great – can't you tell?" Dean snapped before shouldering his way into the room. "So, would someone mind telling me why the hell my little brother can't sleep worth crap and you all are down here with your thumbs up your asses?"

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Sam stood in front of the medicine cabinet and weighed his options, then realized he was too far gone to get his thoughts organized enough to make any thought out logical conclusions. Opening the door to the cabinet he saw his one prescription bottle given to him while he was in residency by the Chief of Staff himself. Two of those little babies will keep him knocked out for a good six hours and in a borderline state where any dreams he might have are muted enough so he can get some actually rest. He never liked taking drugs, prescription or not, but he knew that without sleep the mind starts down a very dangerous path that doesn't lead to anything good. Taking the two pills, he slowly put everything back and cleaned up around the sink before climbing back into bed. His dreams might not be as intense, but they would still come, he just hoped he would be able to guide them to happier times.

The clock on the wall slowly ticked the moments away while the young man on the bed slowly drifted off into slumber. An owl hooted one long drawn out sound as if a cat and the shuffle of booted feet were muted by the snow that had started to fall once again. As if in answer to someone's prayer, the moon suddenly disappeared behind a passing cloud, giving cover to those approaching unseen and relatively unheard. Four men walked passed a fallen hunter as they began their mission to rid their town of an unwanted menace.


	19. Chapter 19

John knew that his son was about to completely lose his temper, and he had to admit that he might actually have a point. It had seemed to him that each time he'd seen his youngest son he looked worse than the time before, and that didn't set right with him. Odd considering how long he'd tried not to really think of the boy, but the point was he still loved his son enough to try and make sure he wasn't a danger to himself or others – usually. Now though as he thought back to his actions that started them on this road to ruin, he could now see how it looked to others and wondered just how he hadn't seen that to begin with.

As Dean looked around and glared at his dad and the other hunters he noticed that there was a missing face. "Where's Joshua?" he asked, suddenly realizing that the older man hadn't come back from whatever self imposed errand he had been on. Seeing the others suddenly realize what his mind was already starting to comprehend, he turned and rushed out of the room checking his Glock on the way out.

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The moon couldn't seem to make up its mind if it wanted to show itself or play hide and seek with the occupants of the planet below it, and it was causing some people a greater advantage than they had been hoping for. With the weather turning colder and the snow seemingly stopped for the moment the men edging closer to the house was more than a little relieved that they were almost finished with their business – none of them were wanting to have to explain their whereabouts to their family. Each of them were hoping to get back in time to have air tight alibis to tonight's altercation.

The plan was simple and they knew there was no way it could go wrong. While two of them stayed outside to keep watch and make sure the doc didn't make his way outside undetected, the other four would make their way inside and surprise him, not letting the other man have a chance to put up much of a struggle while they all took turns in doling out some justice for not only their friend, but for the town as well. Although none of them could say they actually saw him do anything shady or questionable, if Keith said it happened, then that was good enough for them; how else would the kid have gotten hold of Ms. Millie's estate?

As everyone got into position, there was only one detail left to figure out – just how far would they take this little visit. Looking around at each other the answer was unanimous, however far it needed to go. Turning back towards the backdoor, they all were surprised when it flung open and an armed man practically flew towards them.

Dean was already out the door with the others following when he saw something that he couldn't quite comprehend – at first. The baseball bat in one guys hand and a crowbar in another sent warning sirens screaming inside his brain. It took only a moment for him to train his gun onto the group and move away from the door to let the others out as well.

"Looks like Sammy has some visitors. What do you say we invite them inside for some tea?" Dean asked sarcastically as he sized the group up. Suddenly feeling the hackles on the back of his neck raise up he barely had time to turn when he felt the force of another body plow into him, effectively knocking him into the snow covered earth.

"Damn it – get them!" Roger Davis yelled. Keith was his best friend and while he didn't like some of the other man's ideas, he wasn't going to allow him to railroaded by some newcomer and his friends – not to mention, this would go a lot smoother if there weren't any witnesses.

Caleb didn't need any more encouragement as he braced himself for the man charging at him and allowed the guy to make contact before he flipped him over and punching him squarely behind the ear, knocking the man out almost instantly. Not one to stand around and admire his handiwork, he stepped up to take care of the next one when he heard a familiar voice growl at him.

"Move over you idgit – this one's mine!" Bobby stated, his intent clear. These yahoos had taken it into their heads to make a move on his boy, and by damn he wasn't going to let that happen. Moving past Caleb, he reached and grabbed the next man in line's shirtfront before he head butted him – giving himself only a second before he followed through with beating the crap out of the useless bastard at his feet.

As Dean scrambled up meeting blow for blow with what felt to be some professional wrestler of some sort, he got a glimpse of what was going on around him and had to admit that for the lack of actual training, these guys were actually holding their own with only a few exceptions. He finally managed to get to his feet before having to block another fist that was coming his way. Getting tired of the whole fiasco, he placed a quick uppercut to his opponents jaw and watched in satisfaction as the man dropped like a stone. "There were four before this yo-yo showed up, is everyone accounted for?" he asked as he continued to look at the other hunters.

"Yeah, there's five here." John said, worn out from his attempts at keeping the wolves at bay. Either he was getting too old for this, or he had been closer to death than he thought. Before he could voice anything else though another person joined them, changing their perspective drastically.

"There was another one in the tree line, that's him right there. Where's the other guy?" Joshua asked wearily. "Don't look at me like that. I woke up half in and out of the shed and I saw this guy coming at you guys from the tree line – now where's guy number six?"

Dread started to seep into Dean's consciousness as only one thought permeated into his brain, "Sammy!"

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Roger wasn't known for his brains but that didn't mean he couldn't think pretty well on his feet. When he saw his friends and neighbors lose their advantage, he knew that it was time to play dirty. He didn't know exactly where the coward doctor was, but he did know that there wasn't going to be any way that they'd have to worry about him anymore after tonight.

Getting into the clinic was easy enough with everyone in the process of beating each other, so it made the most sense for him to be the one to take care of the threat. Walking into the exam rooms it was just a matter of finding what he needed and since he knew that Sam was meticulous about where he kept his supplies, it made his job that much easier.

Taking as many bottles of alcohol as he could find, he quickly opened one and splashed it along the walls before quickly lighting it ablaze. As he watched the fire grow as it ate through the walls, the pictures, the furniture, he continued to open one bottle at a time and splash it onto new dry surfaces until he was outside on the front porch where he emptied the rest and lit another match, watching in morbid fascination as the flames started slow then began to build. Hearing the yells from the back of the house getting closer, he turned and ran back the direction he'd come, knowing he'd need to be quick if he was going to make sure his wife saw him get out of bed to see what the commotion was about.

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Dean looked on in horror as he saw the orange light flickering inside the doorway. By the time he reached the opening, he knew he wouldn't be able to make it through the fire that way – his only other choice was to find another way in and that meant running around the house and possibly losing even more precious time. Ignoring the outcries from the others, he sprinted along the outer wall and tried to gauge just how far the fire had spread. It wasn't until he reached the porch that he knew he was well and totally screwed.

Sensing the others close behind him, he turned and pushed past them heading back the way they came. It was a long shot, but he knew that if he didn't get to his little brother right now, he'd be burying him. Finding a window that seemed to be relatively clear of flames, he reached up and opened it, quickly pulling himself up and over – once again ignoring the others' protests. Once his feet were firmly planted on the floor, he made a dash to the stairs, trying hard not to breathe in the noxious fumes that were billowing throughout the lower level of the house. It didn't take long to get to his brother's room but even he had to take a small break to catch his breath and try to get his coughing under control – he wasn't going to do Sammy any good if he passed out himself.

Reaching Sam's bed, he shook his brother's shoulder and called out his name but only got a muffled response for his effort. Once again he tried to rouse his brother, and although the answer was slightly more coherent, it still wasn't enough. Making the decision was easy; it was the doubt that his body would be able to take the extra weight through the smoke and fire that was killing him. Rushing to the bathroom he took a moment to dampen two rags and tie them to his and his little brother's faces in hopes of buying them some time. Taking a deep breath, he situated Sam onto his shoulders and slowly made his way to the stairs but stopped suddenly when he saw the steps and banister were ablaze as well. Not knowing what else to do, he held onto his brother even tighter as he made a run for it sideways down the staircase.

Once on the ground level again he knew he needed to make a decision but it was so hard with the black smoke thick in the air. He heard his dad yelling and saw what seemed to be a light cutting through where the smoke didn't seem to be as thick. Understanding finally came to him and he quickly made his way through the door where he and Sam were immediately drenched with the water hose that Caleb was using to put out the porch fire. The Impala's lights had been used as a beacon to help them find their way out and as thankful as he was for it, Dean couldn't really care at the moment as he gingerly put his burden down onto the frozen driveway and held him close to him.

"Dean?" Sam whispered, barely able to get the word out of his mouth as he could barely open his bleary eyes. What he saw didn't make sense to him and he hoped his brother could explain what his tired and drug affected mind couldn't comprehend.

Dean knew when the blankets were placed around them, but all he could concentrate on was the man now lying in his arms with a question on his mind and eyes sluggishly watching his home burn to the ground.


	20. Chapter 20

AN: I hope you like this... my attention is a little spintered, so I apologize for any lameness ahead of time. Take care!

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Dean heard the sirens getting closer, but he couldn't be bothered with such minor details at the moment, right now he was watching the confusion imbed itself deeper in his little brother's mind and he was starting to worry that this was too much for him.

"Sammy? Hey kiddo, you ok?" he asked as he tightened the blankets around them. He felt momentary relief when his brother's gaze turned towards him until he saw understanding creep into those eyes and he suddenly felt as if someone was ripping him apart. "Hey, don't worry, we all got out ok and help is here, ok?"

Nodding, Sam knew he should be thankful that no one was hurt, but at the moment all he could think of was every reminder he had of Jess was in there burning; bringing back that horrible day that everything changed for him. As he tried to sit up he was aware of the ground and sky combining into one big swirl, leaving him to rethink his idea of getting up. Seeing Dean's worried face he tried to smile but it was more of a grimace.

"Sorry, I took a sleeping pill one of my advisors prescribed a couple of years ago. I really should be asleep right now. Then again – I could be asleep right now and this is all a very demented nightmare." Sam said softly, but the others could hear the hope in his voice and none wanted to be the one to dash his moment of hope.

"Ok, what the holy hell happened here?" Dan yelled as he rushed from his cruiser towards the small group of men. Seeing Sam lying on the ground he was worried about injuries, but once he got closer he could tell that it was possibly something worse. "Ah man… doc, I'm sorry. Look, stay here with your brother and I'll figure out what happened."

Bobby didn't know what to think about the sheriff's attitude, but he did know one thing, he wasn't going to let what happened get swept under the rug. "I'll tell you what happened, those yahoo's over there showed up and their buddy set Sam's clinic on fire. Now tell me _Sheriff_, what are you going to do about it?"

Dan had a feeling he was missing something important, but when he looked at the men tied up off to the side everything clicked into place. Groaning, he turned quickly and motioned for those just arriving to get busy while he turned towards one of the deputy's that was walking up towards him. "It's time to drop in on Roger Davis. There's no way these guys came up with this one their own." Turning back towards Bobby and the others he nodded. "I understand where you're coming from Mr. Singer. I promise you, they won't get away with this."

Dean watched Dan put the pieces together and supposedly get things in order, but he just couldn't seem to care beyond the person trying to talk to his little brother who still seemed more dazed than he should be. "Sammy, you said you took something, how much did you…"

"Don't finish that sentence son." An older man said while looking at Sam. "Hey there Doc Sam, looks like you're having a heck of a night. I have the ambulance already warmed up, so how about getting you inside and over to Sioux Falls where…"

"No." Sam said quietly as he continued to watch his home and clinic continue to burn.

Not knowing whether Sammy was talking about not going to the hospital, or not wanting his home to burn, Dean wasn't sure how to respond to the sudden change when the kid went from extremely still to fighting in less time than it took the blankets to fall to the ground.

"Jess… JESS!!!" Sam yelled as he staggered towards the door as quickly as he could. He was sure she was inside and if he could just get to her, this time he could save her – he was sure of it.

"Sammy?" Dean called out before rushing to his brother and tackling him gently to the ground. "Sammy, calm down, she's not there." He continued to hold the screaming man close, trying hard to block out the heartrending cries, but failing – each scream for a long dead girlfriend tore at his heart, knowing that his brother was reliving that horrible experience and everything that went along with it. "It's ok Sammy, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Henry stood watching as the young doctor screamed as if the demons of hell were chasing after him and the man next to him tried to comfort him. Not knowing what else to do, the paramedic stood by to wait to see if his services would be needed tonight, praying that the only use his rig would get was to help illuminate the area around them.

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Bobby watched as Dean tried to calm Sam down and had wanted to help calm the younger man, but knew this was something that needed to be done by a certain big brother who was starting to come around. Sighing, he hoped that he wasn't making a mistake, but then again who was he to decide.

"Bobby, we have a problem." Caleb whispered as he motioned for Jim to listen as well. "John's gone. One minute he was watching Sam try to go back in, the next he vanished into thin air."

_Damn it!_ This was something they didn't need. Jim stood in shock wondering how he had missed his friend taking off, but knew instantly the answer – with everyone's attention to Sam and the burning house; it would be easy to break away from a crowd if one wanted to. As he looked around he knew the instant the others came to the same conclusion he had – Roger Davis.

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Angela Davis was known as the town fool, she knew it but lived with it silently which only added to the proof of the statement. It was well known that her husband liked to 'get acquainted' with anyone of the female persuasion as long as they were single and unhindered by children, but she never spoke out against him even when he'd spend all their money while partying with his friends. Now though she knew that she couldn't do that anymore, not if her suspicions were correct.

She had heard the rumors and vicious attacks that people were spewing about Sam and Miss Millie, but she knew, just like everyone else, that they had loved each other as friends and family so it shouldn't have been any surprise to anyone that she had given him and Brenda everything of monetary value – they both deserved it. So to hear how Roger was following Keith in his idiocy wasn't too surprising to her, but the idea that he actually acted on it was.

The sound of the kitchen door opening pulled her away from the upstairs bedroom window where she watched the glow in the distance. It didn't take any imagination to picture the flames that were blocked by the woods that separating their property and the young doctor's. Sighing, she turned just as the bedroom door opened and watched as her husband began to undress calmly until he sensed someone was watching him.

"Angie – hey baby, I thought I heard something outside, but I couldn't tell what it was." Roger said as he rose from taking his shoes off.

"What, you couldn't see the flames while you were running away?" Angie demanded disgusted by what she was hearing. She could forgive him practically anything, but this was too much – this affected the whole town. "I don't understand Rodge, you know as well as anyone that Sam hasn't done anything wrong, but you still had to go and hurt him didn't you?"

Roger looked at his wife and felt a sudden feeling of anger. "Damn it Ang, you know as well as I do that something was going on between him and Brenda, it's only right that…"

"That what… you convince yourself of Keith's delusion? Haven't you figured out he's crazy? Everyone else has, what's taking you so long?" she asked, demanding him to for once think for himself. "I'm not covering for you this time. This time… you need to face up to what you've done."

The red and blue lights splaying across their window broke into their conversation, bringing their attention to the knock at the door. Giving her husband one last look, Angie walked past him and down the stairs knowing that this was one time she couldn't stand by his side.

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John stood in the shadows and watched as the Sheriff and his deputy led Roger Davis to one of the cars, all the while listening to the outrageous things the man claimed Sammy had done. It would have angered him if it hadn't shocked him how one person could have so much misinformation. Then again who was he to talk, he had blamed his youngest son for so much and let his own misinformation to guide him down a dark path that had led him away from his family. He might not know what was going to happen, but he knew what had happened, and there was no way Sammy had done what the raving lunatic was screaming about.

"So you ready to get back to the boys? I doubt that even Dean's going to be able to get Sam away from the house right now." Jim said softly as he and Caleb walked up quietly.

Shaking his head John wasn't sure what he should do. After everything he'd put his boy through, he wasn't sure how he was going to make it up to either one of his sons, and to be honest he wasn't so sure he deserved a second chance, but he could at least make sure they both were safe while he tested the waters. "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure this guy didn't get away with it." He said before looking around. "Where's Bobby?"

Jim and Caleb looked at each other, neither one wanting to voice their opinion of what was sure to happen – maybe if they didn't voice it, it wouldn't happen.

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The fire was finally put out and the smoldering ruins still smoked and steamed as those who had occupied it only a couple of hours before stood by and stared. Dean was worried about his little brother, but was trying not to smother the kid since he looked like he was lost in his own little world. The volunteer fire department had finished their job and was now packing up to head back to their homes and their everyday jobs, each one hesitating close by to Sam as if to say something but unsure what it was that they could say to make the situation any better. With Bobby staying close, Dean had been able to focus all his attention on Sammy while everyone made their way back and forth around them.

"Dean, we need to get him someplace warm." Bobby said as he handed over two cups of coffee. He'd watched as Sam had broken down, thinking that Jessica was inside, then afterwards when the pain of her loss attacked him once again. It wasn't fair that now after he had managed to begin to pull his life back together, that some moron ripped it apart once again. Seeing the younger man nod in agreement, he felt a sliver of jealousy that he hadn't been expecting.

"Yeah, you're right Bobby. I doubt there's any place close, so I guess we'll just drive until we get to the next town with a motel and…"

"No!"

Dean turned around and saw the panicked look on Sam's face. Not understanding the problem he tried to come up with something that would comfort his little brother but before he could voice his opinion the younger man beat him to it.

"I'm not leaving. If you want to go, fine – go!" Sam said forcibly, already turning towards the road while ignoring the protests of his brother. Everything seemed too much at the moment and he didn't want to be around anyone to remind him just how much he'd already lost.

Staring at his brother, Dean could not seem to comprehend what had just happened. All he had suggested was…

"Did you really think he'd leave everything behind again just because you said so?" Bobby asked gruffly, not caring who heard or what they thought. "You and your daddy liked to do that way too much, how about letting him go before you break his heart anymore than you already have?"

Shocked, Dean turned to look at the hunters standing close and wondered what the hell they were talking about. Seeing his dad slightly off to the side he suddenly started to see things from their point of view and he didn't like it and wondered just how far off the track they had really gone. Looking around for Sammy he suddenly realized that he must have caught a ride from someone. "Damn it! Bobby, where would he go?"


	21. Chapter 21

AN: So sorry for the wait... hopefully this will make up for it. By the way: my youngest son and oldest grandson both turned 9 today - Happy Birthday to them!!!

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Sam stood staring at the back porch as if expecting something or someone to interrupt his musings – then again that would really have entailed thought, and there wasn't much of that going on at the moment. Instead he stared at the dark house until he finally realized where he was, even if he didn't remember how he got there. Sighing, he walked up the steps and gingerly sat on the swing, ignoring the creaking the rusted chain echoed against the house.

'So this is what I have to look forward to?' he thought to himself as he stared into the night, oblivious to the cold that continued to freeze anything in its path.

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It took longer than anyone really wanted to admit to get the fire under control and everything packed up and ready to go. However that wasn't what was bothering most of the people standing in front of what was the town's only clinic – it was the fact that the doctor was nowhere to be seen, and everyone had been told how ill he seemed to be. Now their concern had switched from putting out the fire, to possible search and rescue.

"Damn it, where the hell could he have gone?" John bellowed once again as he looked down the road he and Jim had just walked along. It had been bad enough that he hadn't been able to stop the bastard from torching the clinic which his youngest son still inside, but how they had missed Sammy walking away from the devastating scene was still a mystery to him.

Jim tightened his coat around him once again and tried not to allow John's anger get the better of him, after all they all had more important things to worry about – like getting Sam someplace safe and warm. "John, you need to calm down, we'll find Sam."

Snorting once John barely looked at the priest before turning back the road. They hadn't been able to find a decent trail since it seemed there had been more people milling about while the volunteer fire department did what they could to stop the fire from continuing its onslaught. Once the search for Sammy began it was obvious that no one could tell where he'd gone since there was so much traffic disturbing everything. It didn't take long to meet up with Dean and the others and knew instantly that they didn't have a clue either.

"This is nuts, no one's seen him and it looked like half of them didn't really want to." Dean yelled as he kicked a snow covered rock across the road.

John knew the frustration his son was feeling, but there wasn't much he could do short of pulling Sammy out of thin air that would help. "Dean, calm down – we'll find him."

Dean couldn't believe what he heard. "What the hell do you care, dad? If it was still up to you then we'd be across the country and not here with him." Taking a deep breath he was about to jump back into his tirade but instead shook his head. "You know what… just go dad. Go back to hunting and leave the rest to us."

Shocked, the others could only stand there and watch the myriad of emotions play on John's face, but before any other response could be made, a car pulled up alongside them.

"Don't tell me you haven't found him yet?" Dan asked as he looked from each man back to the cold night. "Damn it, I was afraid of this." He said softly before he turned abruptly to them again. "Are you sure you looked everywhere?" Seeing the confused looks on their faces he groaned. "Get in and make it quick. If he's where I think he is… well, you'll see – hurry up."

It was as if a challenge had been made and all six hunters crammed into the cruiser barely before the sheriff made a harsh u-turn and sped down the slick road.

It didn't take too long to pull in front of an old house in the middle of the small town. Puzzled, the men looked at the dark building before looking at the sheriff and wondered if he'd lost his mind.

"Look, the doc's not thinking straight – he probably doesn't even remember she's gone." Dan said as he quickly got out of the car and turned on his flashlight. "SAM! HEY DOC, I NEED YOU OUT HERE!"

It didn't take long for the others to piece together the puzzle and quickly follow in the lawman's footsteps, each branching out a bit to look through the windows, the porch, the doorway, but it was Dean's yell from the back of the house that made them all sprint in fear of what they would find.

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Dean finally caught on to what the sheriff said and it didn't take long for him to go around his dad and friends to see if he could find anything to lead him to his brother without all that racket they were making. He didn't doubt that if Sammy could hear them then he'd probably take off again and they'd be no closer than what they were earlier.

It was the gust of wind that seemed to cut through his coat that helped alert him to a possibility – the wind and the tinkling sound of a small chain close by. Turning back towards the house he looked closer and found that while the porch wasn't enclosed, it had enough shadow that someone could be standing there and not be noticed. Climbing up the steps Dean faltered only a moment when he saw the leg come into view, then the body that looked so still in sleep leaning against the arm of the swing.

"Oh my God – SAMMY!" he yelled as he took the remaining steps at a leap. "Come on Sammy – wake up!" he yelled again as he tried to wake his little brother. Not liking the cold feel of his arm, Dean quickly reached for a pulse and had to try twice more before he found one, giving him incentive to breathe again on his own.

"Dean, you find him?" yelled Bobby, worried of what he'd find once he found the eldest brother.

"Here! We're on the porch!" Dean shouted, ignoring the flashlight by his side choosing instead to remove his coat and wrap his little brother in it.

Dan had a feeling this was where they would find him, but he couldn't figure out why Sam hadn't let himself in, or why no one else had thought to look here. "Come on, Miss Millie never liked locked doors, and I doubt anyone thought to do it since she passed."

It didn't take long to get Sam inside and settled on the longest couch in the parlor, but it took a little while to get a fire going inside the fireplace which grated on the hunters' nerves.

"Normally I'd say to call Doc Sam, but I don't think that would work right now." Dan said in an effort to break the tension. He was worried about the man lying unconscious in front of him and knew that they needed to get him to a hospital, but with the way the roads were becoming it would be safer to wait until the highway was cleared.

Dean wanted to hit something, but knew that it wouldn't do any good; instead he took position over his little brother and silently dared anyone to come closer. 'Come on Sammy, you can beat this. Just wake up and get moving.' He thought in the hopes that Sammy would somehow know what needed to be done and instantly follow through.

"Isn't there someone else we can call? I mean there has to be…" John broke off his question when he saw the incredulous looks on a few of his friends' faces. It wasn't until the sheriff spoke again that he remembered exactly why his youngest was here.

"Look, I really have no idea who you think you are, but I'm going to tell you this – if it wasn't for Sam here, most of the people in this town wouldn't get any kind of regular health care. In case you haven't noticed, we're not in the middle of some sprawling metropolis – most of us would just deal with whatever ails us mainly because that's all we can afford to do. The previous doc retired and we're damn lucky Sam agreed to fill in for him otherwise I'd hate to think about what would have happened."

Jim knew that this was a tense moment, but in all fairness he understood where John was coming from. "Dan, you know as well as I do that Sam is going to need to be checked out at the very least, and hospitalized at the most. We're all just worried, that's all."

Smiling, Dan nodded. "I know, I am too. Look, I'll call the hospital and fill them in, then when the roads are cleared we can get him there – just keep him warm."

As Dean watched the other man walk towards another room, he had to wonder just what he and his little brother shared. Trying to squash down the jealousy that he felt raising its head, he turned back to Sammy watch and hoped their mother was watching over the youngest Winchester tonight.

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Sometimes it was a good thing that he had a real good friend at the DOT, it made his request to have the highway cleared quickly a top priority. Now all he had to do was make sure that Sam got the help he needed quickly, because he knew he would never be able to live with himself if he let Brenda or Ms. Millie down.

"_Now Danny, you make sure that that young doctor is treated right and proper, you hear me?" Ms. Millie said sternly as she took the sheriff's hand and squeezed slightly, letting him know she meant business. "Promise me now; I know you'll never go back on a promise."_

_Dan looked at the frail woman in front of him and knew what he had to do. "I promise you ma'am, I will do everything I can to make sure he's taken care of." He said quietly before looking up and into Brenda's wide eyes. He knew right then he'd made a promise to both of them, and it wasn't one he was willing to break._

Now though, looking in his rearview mirror where Sam was bundled in blankets and held in Dean's arms, he could see just how much he'd already failed. There was no way Sam deserved to have his home and clinic burned to the ground, but somehow he managed to not only allow it to happen, but not pay attention when the young doctor had wondered off in shock. As he continued to speed down the road with lights flashing and sirens blaring, he made a new promise – if he couldn't fix this himself, he'd find a way to help his brother do it for him.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: I hope you all like this one... and what do you know... I can accomplish a chapter without a cliffie - didn't know I had it in me. ;)

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The Trauma Center at Sioux Falls Memorial had been prepared for the winter storms that had been rolling periodically in through the area, but each person on call was really starting to wish Mother Nature would take a hike already. Between the car accidents, house fires due to overtaxed circuits, carbon monoxide poisoning cases that overflowed the ER and into their department, the only rest any of them seemed to be getting was the thirty two seconds it took them to sit down and use the bathroom – if they had been able to find time to do that. So when the call came in of a early twenties male being rushed in due to smoke inhalation, exposure and possible hypothermia, the initial groan had more to do with the fact that it had to be another case of drunken stupidity – until they found out it was none other than Dr. Samuel Singer, then everything changed.

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Dean continued to sit next to his little brother and watched as a younger man that he hadn't seen before monitored the equipment and occasionally yelled at Henry to hurry up. Although he knew that the roads had finally been cleared largely due to the fact that the Sheriff had a brother in law who worked pretty high up in the DOT and made their stretch of the highway top priority, he couldn't help but wonder about the anxious looks that were being exchanged between the younger paramedic and the older driver, but it sent a wave of panic through him that he was thankful he was sitting down.

The hospital came into view and they had no sooner stopped that the ambulance doors were flung open and a swarm of people were already tugging the gurney out, barely taking the time to ensure that the IV lines weren't disturbed. Not feeling he had much choice, Dean raced after them and even managed to get beyond the double doors before anyone took a glance at him, but by then they all were too busy to admonish him for not following the rules.

"We need a chest x-ray, CBC…hell, run a full panel on him, there's no way I want something sneaking by us." Dr. Morris shouted as he listened carefully to Sam's chest before looking at the blood pressure monitor and cursed. "His BP is too low, let's intubate him as a precaution. Come on Sam, hang in there."

It didn't take being told twice before an intern was inserting a breathing tube down Sam's throat and monitoring his heart rate at the same time. It didn't take long to check the position before the young woman stated confidently, "We're in."

Dr. Morris nodded before turning towards Dean. "You mind telling me who you are before I have security kick you out?"

"Brother…I'm …Sammy's my brother." Dean said softly, barely noticing the pause in the activity surrounding his little brother.

Nodding, the doctor went back to ensuring his patient was starting to stabilize before speaking again. "It's just a precaution; I don't want him to start having trouble breathing if we can prevent it ahead of time. So, how about you tell me what we're dealing with here so we can get started without having to wait for the results from the lab."

"He was tired." Dean began, but when he saw the smirks on the others faces he shrugged. "Yeah, ok… the kid was exhausted. Between the clinic and then Ms Millie dying, he had his hands full. So he had a headache, he needed some sleep so he went upstairs and asked me to take care of everyone – our … uncles were all there and one of them had been sick, so he asked me to watch over everything for a day. Things were going ok until some jackass and his friends broke in and torched the place. I was able to get him out, but he was still half asleep, and he wandered off. We found him at Ms. Millie's house and he was unconscious on the porch swing."

"Bet the nightmares didn't help things." Dr. Morris muttered while shaking his head. "Ok, I have a pretty good idea why his BP is so damn low now, that helps. Right now though we need to get him warmed up and back to us. Ok people, you know the drill, so let's get to it!"

Dean watched as the action in the area increased even more before two nurses were wheeling his brother towards a hallway. Deciding not to bother with permission, he followed closely and almost ran into the back of one of the nurses before he noticed where they were. "ICU?"

"We can keep a better eye on him here, but yeah… until his vitals come back up a little and he wakes up, this'll be home for awhile." One of the nurses said as they positioned the bed and locked the wheels. "We have to do a few things to get him settled. Why don't you fill in his uncles, we'll let them know when we're done."

About to protest, Dean was surprised when a hand grasped his shoulder lightly. Turning, he saw the doctor watching him carefully before noticing the man obviously wanting some privacy to talk. Following the man down the hall he wasn't sure what to think when the older man turned around and started his barrage of questions.

"Who are you really and what makes you think anyone would believe a story like that? Hell, even if you were his brother, where have you been? Never mind, I have a feeling I don't want to know. Back to the original question – who are you really?"

"I'm Dean – Sam's older brother and I don't give a damn if you believe me or not. Now, how bad is he?" Dean demanded while facing off with the man before him.

Looking down at a file, Dr. Morris carefully examined a few pages before he shook his head. "Sorry, there's no mention of a brother in the paperwork. Now you find me Bobby Singer and have him talk to me, and I'll let him know everything that's going on…until then, I suggest you go back out to the waiting room."

"What the… less than an hour ago you were letting me know whatever I wanted, what's changed?" Dean asked as he really started to wonder just what it was he stepped into.

"Dean? What's the problem boy, we've been out there waiting until they finally told us Sam's not in the ER anymore." Bobby said as he and the other hunters walked quickly up the hallway.

Dean shook his head before looking at the doctor. "The doc here refuses to tell me what's going on with my brother and says he'll only talk to you."

Bobby looked at the older doctor for a moment before stating gruffly, "Well, I'm here. How is he?"

Looking suspiciously between the younger man and the small group of older men, Dr. Morris discretely looked down the hall to the person who had been watching intently. Seeing the slight nod, he smiled slightly. "So far I'd say he's a very lucky young man – then again, you already knew that. Right now we're warming him with warming blankets and heated saline. Don't worry, the hypothermia is mild but he's been through enough don't you think? If you'd like to sit with him, you can, but I doubt he'll be awake for awhile since that prescription can really pack a whollop."

Surprised, Bobby looked at Dean before looking at the doctor again. "You don't think he…"

"God no! Look, if he could make it through what happened in Boston, I doubt the death of a friend would toss him over the edge. Besides, I've never seen a more focused individual, and somehow I doubt killing himself would be on his 'Need to Accomplish' list, don't you?" Dr. Morris said with a slight smile before his mood sobered a bit. "I do need to know who is allowed in and out of the room though, as well as their relationship to Sam. We don't get too persnickety around here unless there's been a report made of an attack, especially when it's on one of our staff, then we get a little prickly."

Not sure how to take the man in front of him, Dean looked at Bobby and shrugged. "Obviously he doesn't believe that Sammy's my little brother."

Snorting, Bobby shook his head and pushed the door open motioning for Dean to go inside before turning back to the doctor. "Look, I appreciate the concern, but as you can see me and Sam's uncles aren't ones to let just anyone close to him. Dean had a problem with his head not being screwed on right for awhile, but he's starting to see the light so if you don't mind I think you can safely add Dean to the list of 'acceptable' visitors."

As the group of men filed through the doorway, Dr. Morris looked to see the younger observer walking towards him. "So, what do you think Peter?"

Dr. Peter Paulson shook his head. "I have no idea. You know as well as I do that Sam's pretty tight lipped about his life and those in it. I know that he was adopted by Bobby Singer and he's still pretty close to his uncles so I'm not surprised they all showed up." He paused a moment, lost in thought. "You know he showed me a picture once." He noticed the surprise in the other man's face and nodded. "Yeah, I know. It was when he was running back and forth from here to that rinky dink town and trying to get that clinic going. I found him asleep in the break room and tried not to wake him, but I hadn't made it two feet inside the door before I saw him watching me like he wasn't sure if I was there for coffee or a throw down. I made a stupid joke and finally he laughed before he grabbed a cup of coffee and asked me if I had family in town for the holidays. It was his normal polite question, but for some reason I decided to push and asked him if he did. You know, I'll never understand what possessed me to ask, you know he's always been pretty private about it, but that day I just felt that maybe… maybe… well, it worked. Before I knew it, he was pulling out a picture of his dad and uncles. But I could tell something was missing – or someone. He's mentioned a Dean, but I thought it was a friend or cousin. I don't know if this guy is really his brother, but I do know that he trusts his family so maybe we should too."

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Dean paused just inside the doorway and stared a moment before he continued towards Sammy's side. His little brother laid quietly with blankets over him and IV tubes snaking from his arm. The most disturbing sight thought was the short tube protruding from his mouth. Although it wasn't hooked up to anything, it was still a little disconcerting to say the least.

"Sammy, I'm here. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." Dean said as he settled in a chair and grasped his brother's hand. "I know you're tired, but we really need you to wake up."

He knew the doctor would talk to Bobby and knew that whatever information given would be relayed to him, so he didn't worry about not being in the middle of any conversations right now. Right now he really needed to figure out how to make this better, to make it to where his little brother could move around freely without worrying about getting jumped by some jealous husband who wouldn't know the difference between decency and deceit. He was watching Sammy breath so intently that the sound of the door opening once again didn't disturb him.

The others gathered around the bed and it was only then that he noticed his dad was there too and wondered just what would happen if Sammy woke up right then and saw their old man standing there staring at him. Sighing, he was trying to think of a way to get his dad to leave without making a commotion big enough for them all to get tossed out on their ears, but couldn't think of anything.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Paulson. Dr. Morris asked me to come in and give you a status report. As you know, when Sam was brought in, his blood pressure was lower than we like, but giving the fact that he took a prescription sleeping pill, we were able to factor that in and believe that once the drug has finished passing through his system his vitals will respond accordingly. We do hear some congestion in his lungs due to smoke, but nothing to worry us at this point although we will monitor it closely to catch it in case it turns to pneumonia. As far as the hypothermia goes, he's warming up nicely and we should be able to place him on straight saline within another couple of hours." As he talked, Paul took out his stethoscope and listened once again to his friend's lungs. They still sounded irritated, but not as bad as Dr. Morris had described. Feeling confident, he proceeded to remove the tubing before he turned back to Sam's family. Suddenly his gaze stuck on a tall man with dark hair and green eyes and had a feeling that there was something about this man that could really upset his patient as well as his friend. "The irritation in his lungs seems to be subsiding, so we'll see how he does without the tube. I hope you all know that he doesn't need any added stress at the moment, so if anything is going to set him back, I suggest to put a stop to it now – even going so far as removing the possibility before he wakes."

Dean didn't know who this guy was, but he could tell that he would do whatever it took to get Sammy through this and for that, he was thankful. "Don't worry doc, we've got it covered."

Nodding, Paul looked at each man, recognizing most from the picture that Sam showed him, but he paused at the other two. Something wasn't right, that he knew, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what. Now he had to trust in what these people said, and he wasn't sure he could do that. Looking back at the man lying unconscious on the bed he had to wonder just how this came about – how the quiet, private man before him could invoke such strong protective emotions in others. He had no doubt that as soon as he walked out of the room, he'd have a swarm of people questioning him about Sam and if there is any way that his 'family' had done something to him. For now though, he had to trust his instincts that most of the people in the room would move Heaven and Earth for Sam, and protect him with their lives – all the while praying he wasn't wrong.


	23. Chapter 23

AN: I hope you all like this one... don't forget to let me know!!!

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Anyone who thought that an ICU ward would be quiet had another thing coming, and Dean was no exception. He had no idea how he'd missed that small fact in all the times he and his family had been in a hospital for one injury or ailment after another, but at the moment he'd do practically anything to wisk his little brother out of the room and off to some nice quiet hole in the wall place where Sammy could recuperate properly. It had been more than eight hours but his brother was still sleeping, or unconscious – whatever. It was enough to drive anyone mad watching a loved one do nothing but breathe even as everyone else around you was trying to coax you out the door for one reason or another.

"Dean, let's go to the cafeteria and grab a quick bite. The nurse said they'd be back in a little while to take care of him and we'll have to leave anyway."

Dean turned towards his dad and practically growled. "Then you go – I'm staying here until they find someone big enough to haul my ass out of here, got it?"

Bobby silently shook his head before moving closer to the bed. He knew that one day Dean would come around and he'd been right, but he wasn't sure just how long it would last and he'd be damned if he was going to watch Sam crash under the weight of his brother's abandonment again. "Dean, he'll be fine. Go on and get a sandwich then come back up, ok?"

"No Bobby, it's not ok. Look, I know I have a lot to make up for, I get that. But I can't even begin to do that if I'm not even in the damn room. He's my little brother, and I've already failed him enough as it is." Dean said firmly. He didn't care what the others thought about him, right now he just wanted Sam to open up his eyes and realize that his big brother wasn't going anywhere without him. "I can't leave him again Bobby – I won't."

Silence reigned in the room for a few minutes before Caleb and Joshua moved towards the door. "Well, you two have things under control for a few minutes. I think we're going to grab a cup or two of coffee. Care to join us John?" Caleb asked as Joshua steered the hunter in question towards the door. With the room now vacant of three occupants, it was even quieter than before which made it that much more oppressive. Dean wasn't sure how much more he could take, but he was sure of one thing – he wasn't going anywhere until Sammy could go with him.

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The cafeteria was spacious with full length windows to allow as much light as possible into the room. However, with the repeat performance of snow, it only seemed to accentuate the dreariness of the surrounding area. Still, it was better than a lot of the other places the hunters had visited over the years, and it helped them keep their perspective which was something they were going to need if they were actually going to have this long overdue conversation.

"So John, when you heading out?" Joshua asked as he stretched his aching body. He wasn't as young as he used to be and he hated having a reminder of that being ever present in his joints every time the weather changed. "In fact, shouldn't you have already headed out the door by now?"

John knew when he was being baited, but the problem at the moment was Joshua was right – he should have already left, the problem was Dean. Sighing, he nodded slightly. "Yeah, I should, but I'm not going to leave my son to deal with this on his own."

"Don't you mean 'sons' John? The last time I checked, you had two." Caleb said sadly. He'd honestly thought that John had finally pulled his head out of his ass. "So what… you've alleviated your conscience and now you're really going to pretend that your youngest doesn't exist?"

"Damn it, that's not it and you know it! I did what I thought was best and granted, it probably wasn't the best idea I've ever come up with, but what else was I supposed to do? He wasn't listening at all and every time I turned around I was facing something that would constantly remind me that I wasn't any closer to the demon that killed Mary than I was that night!" John hissed out, thankful that there was no one near enough to eavesdrop on their discussion. "I know I had two sons, but how was I supposed to know if I lost one of them the day I walked away or the night his mother died over his crib? Answer that if you think you know so much!"

"If you have to ask that John, then you're in a more pathetic state of mind than we all thought." Jim said as he walked up to them. "You keep making excuses for your actions, but it's your boys, both of them, that are constantly paying the price. Dean thinking that his little brother didn't care about him anymore and Sam knowing in his heart that a family's love _is_ conditional. You've done this damage John, you had better find a way to either fix it, or leave without inflicting more pain." Before anyone was able to say anything else, the priest looked at the others and motioned the way he came. "Bobby asked me to get everyone together, looks like Sam's waking up and it's not pleasant."

Not needing to hear anymore, Caleb and Joshua rushed towards the exit leaving John to stare after them in shock with only Jim to try to explain what was happening.

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When the call button to ICU 3 lit up, there had been a collective sigh among the staff who witnessed it. Everyone had been worried about the young doctor, more than what they had wanted the family to know, but now it looked as if their worries had been unfounded. It wasn't until Sam's dad raced out of the room yelling that they understood that they should never take anything for granted.

Drs. Morris and Peterson had been waiting for Sam to waken but had been determined not to camp out at his bedside, but the longer he stayed unconscious the more their concern grew. Between the prescription to help him sleep and the now very real possibility of a suppressed immune system due to the smoke and hypothermia, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise that the young man was taking his time in waking up. They would have bought that except for the fact they had watched this particular person for the last couple of years and knew there was no way he should be sleeping this long and feared that something else was going on. Rushing into the room, neither was prepared to see the very calm mannered Sam Singer fighting with his brother in order to get out of bed all the while yelling for Jessica.

"Damn it!" Dr. Morris yelled as he rushed to the bed and tried to push Sam back down all the while attempting to talk some sense into his patient.

"Not helping doc, how about doing something useful?" Dean yelled as he continued to wrestle Sammy back down on the bed, praying that someone would have a brilliant idea soon because he didn't want to do what he was thinking. 'Just got you awake kiddo, don't want to have to knock you out.'

Paul reached over his mentor to grab Sam's shoulder fully expecting to use leverage to his advantage. He wasn't expecting his friend to change tactics and go completely limp until he was able to turn and punch him square in the face. "Damn it Sam, what the hell?" he shouted as he covered his nose and backed away. He was trying so hard to ignore the pain that he almost missed sudden silence. Looking up he was shocked to see Sam's brother in the bed, holding Sam close like a parent comforting a child. Looking at Dr. Morris he saw the older man motion for them to give them some privacy and wholeheartedly agreed.

"Shhh Sammy, it's alright, I gotcha… I gotcha." Dean said softly. It amazed him that he was still able to calm his little brother even after all this time, even after everything that had happened. "Sammy, you ok?"

"Dean?" Sam asked confused. He would have looked around except his brother's strong arms had him against his chest to where he was able to feel Dean's heartbeat against his face. "Dean?"

Taking a large breath in relief, Dean tightened his hold for a moment before he relaxed and leaned back. "Yeah kiddo, it's me. How are you feeling?"

'Confused.' Sam thought as he watched Dean move from the bed to a chair next to his side. "What happened?" he asked, knowing that he was in a hospital room in Sioux Falls, but no recollection on how or why he was there.

Dean rubbed his face with his hands before looking at his little brother once again. "Well, you want the War and Peace or the Reader's Digest version?" he asked, but when he saw the shocked look on Sam's face he had to ask, "What?"

"Dude… War and Peace? Do you even know what that is?" Sam asked in awe?

"What, I read!" Dean exclaimed before he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, ok… I hooked up with an English Lit student once during a hunt and she kept going on and on about how everyone knows about it, but no one actually reads it. The only way I was able to get her to shut up was to tell her that I was waiting for the movie." Seeing the laughter in his little brother's face he nodded. "Yeah, well… how was I supposed to know they actually made one?"

Sam began laughing and couldn't seem to stop until his chuckles turned to gut wrenching coughs. He felt like his lungs had turned into sandpaper and was about to say something about it when a cup of water was put to his lips and he knew that he was expected to drink. Not sure he'd be able to take the water without choking on it. Knowing he didn't have much of a choice, he tried to still his breath long enough to swallow a small amount. It wasn't much, but it helped sooth his throat and calm the reflex that had sent him into the coughing fit in the first place.

Waving off the new arrivals, Dean watched Sammy closely until he was sure that he was better. "Hey guys, how was the coffee?" he asked Caleb and Joshua as they walked into the room. He'd known that Bobby had let him take care of Sammy while he tried to pull himself together, and there was no way he was going to mention that to the others.

Joshua was more than a little relieved that whatever had happened had calmed down by the time they had arrived, he had no idea how they would have dealt with another crisis. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his short hair and shook his head. "I'm going to find Bobby. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Don't worry about him; he always gets cranky when he's denied his caffeine fix." Caleb said smartly as he walked over and sat at Sam's side. "How are you feeling Sam? Breathing ok?"

Puzzled, Sam looked between Dean and Caleb before asking, "What's wrong with Bobby? Is he ok? What's going on Dean?"

"Calm down Sammy. Bobby's fine, just went to get some fresh air, ok?" Dean stated simply, hoping that any other explanation could wait a little while longer. He could tell Sam wasn't going to be happy until he saw the other man for himself, but until Bobby could pull himself together he had no other choice but to stall. "Hey, who's for a game of cards?"

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Joshua had a feeling where he'd find Bobby and he wasn't disappointed when he walked into the chapel. When Jim told them that Sam had problems while waking up, it had brought too many fears to the surface not to mention too many memories. He wasn't surprised when Bobby had to take a break, and couldn't blame the man either. They all remembered how Sam had been when he was coming out of his coma after the fire, it wasn't pretty, and it sure as hell wasn't sweet. The screams for Jessica was something that he'd never forget, not to mention the way the boy had fought against all of them until full awareness finally took over. He still couldn't watch any tv show with a peaceful coma patient that quietly woke up and asked for jell-o, that just wasn't his experience.

Sitting next to Bobby, Joshua waited a moment while pretending not to see the heartbreak and tears that were in the other man's eyes. Only after he was sure the other man had pulled himself together was he able to clear his throat and get down to business. "He's awake. Dean's with him… was able to get him to calm down. I don't know what to think about John, but whatever you want to do about that situation let me know, you know I'll go with whatever you think is best."

Bobby looked at Joshua for a long moment before he understood exactly what was being said. He knew that John had burnt a lot of bridges with a lot of people, but he hadn't known just exactly how bad it was until now. Shaking his head he turned back around to face the mural in front of them. "Thanks Josh, but no… it would break Sam's heart if that happened. No matter how bad John treated him, Sam still loves him and I won't stand by and allow him to get hurt even more – the boy's suffered enough. I just wish I could do something to help him now."

Placing a hand on Bobby's shoulder, Joshua nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. We can only be there for him like always. So how about we get back in there and help him remember that he's not alone."

Before Bobby's answer was heard, the chapel door closed silently allowing the sole interloper to leave undetected to walk back the direction he came and think over what he'd heard and figure out how that changed everything.


	24. Chapter 24

"_John Winchester, what did I tell you about calling me again?"_ Missouri Mosley asked, clearly annoyed.

Sighing, John nodded as he answered. "Not to until I pulled my head out of my ass."

"_Mmmm hmmm… and what makes you think that you have gotten to that point yet?"_

"I'm trying Missouri; I really am, but… Damn it, I've taken your advice but I can't just discard the evidence. Sam's not…"

"_Not what… human? Don't make me get my spoon. You know as well as I do that that boy is just as much Sammy now as he was when you brought him home from the hospital, the only problem is that you've been too damn stubborn to see it."_ Missouri said as she put a kettle of water on the stove. _"John, you have been so determined to see something that isn't there, that you've allowed yourself to serve your youngest to the very demon you have sworn to protect him from."_

John hung his head and let the words flow through him. He hadn't been sure what to believe in quite awhile and that was in fact the reason why he walked away from his youngest son only to stay in peripheral to help the others take care of the clinic in hopes of being at least a small part of Sammy's life. He knew his mind was twisted up in the battle of the present versus the past and he had no real idea what to do about it; the thought of that demon getting anywhere near his children made his blood boil, but the thought of one of his children becoming what he had hunted for so long froze his blood like ice. "I don't know Missouri. Have any of you thought about what'll happen if you're wrong – if Sammy's really just a dormant version of whatever it has planned?"

"No John, we haven't… because we all know him. We know his goodness, his strength. Most of all though, we know that if he lasted this long facing off with Azazel, then there is no possible way that Sam's going to become what the demon wants."

That hit John hard, the knowledge that his baby boy had already had exposure with the very thing that changed their lives and he walked away from it, not whole, but still himself. It was actually that thought that humbled him; knowing that his boy had been able to do what he himself had failed to do.

"_Well, now that's the John Winchester we all knew – welcome back!"_

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Dean watched Sam sleep and sent a prayer up to a deity he didn't really believe in that his little brother would have at least a few hours of peace. It had taken a couple of hands of poker before Bobby came back and let Sam know that everything was fine, after that the younger man was drifting off and no one had the heart to keep him from the much needed rest. Now though Dean was fighting his irrational fear that his brother wasn't going to wake up again and it was taking all the will power he had to keep himself from trying to rouse him.

The doctors and nurses had been more than lenient with all of them and even went as far to allow them to bring in some food so they all could stay close. The hunters couldn't help but wonder if it was actually curiosity that made the staff so attentive. After all, they all knew that Sam wouldn't have gone around spilling his family situation to anyone and was more likely to have stayed aloof when others began bragging about their families – some wounds just ran too deep to be dealt with in public. Dr. Paul Peterson had made it a point to stay extremely close and even went so far as to take the hourly vital signs instead of sending a nurse. Again, it hadn't escaped the occupants' notice of the attention Sam was receiving and wondered just how close the two men were.

"Well, it looks like his vitals are holding, which is great news. Now we just need to make sure that he doesn't develop pneumonia and I'd say he'll be well on the road to recovery." Paul said as he finished his observations. Looking around at the men in the room he could tell they were all relieved and wondered once again just where exactly Sam had come from.

"That's great doc, but can you tell us why he's sleeping so much? I mean really… it's been days, then he was only awake for a little bit before he fell asleep again." Dean asked, hoping that the man before him wasn't holding anything back – he'd really hate to have to kill the guy later.

Paul smiled slightly before motioning to the chart in his hand. "As you know, Sam's body has undergone quite a bit of shock. That, combined with his already exhaustive state has made him essentially shut down briefly until he's rested enough. Don't worry, he'll wake up soon and the more times he wakes up, the longer he'll stay awake. Give him time, he's doing remarkably well."

As the others watched Paul leave the room, they missed the slight twitch of Sam's hand – a sure tell that something was not alright.

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_He was dreaming – he knew that. But that didn't help him stare at the images before him as they played out over and over in his mind. His mother's death seemed to have the dominant showing and was ripping his soul apart in ways he hadn't known was possible. He could see his happy family before everything changed and his whole world went up in a burst of flames and screams. Dean being mad at him for asking about their mom, going so far as to say that he didn't have to right to ask. The change in his dad after he found out that there was no reason to hide what they did anymore since the youngest now knew what was really in the dark. The strange flicker every now and again that would appear in his father's eyes when he looked at him, as if he wasn't sure he deserved to be trusted. The man he killed in a bar fight. Jess bursting in flames due to a madman that he couldn't stop in time. Those and more showed him how the change had taken place and how he had known deep down that it was only a matter of time before his father acted._

"_I should have done it before now son; I really tried to do right by you." John said morosely as he came into view pulling out the Colt that the demon had been desperate to get his hands on. "Now there is nothing else to do but finish what you started the night your mother died."_

_Sam stared at the man in front of him in horror. He knew that look – it was the look his dad reserved for only the truly heinous creatures that he hunted and killed mercilessly, brutally. "Dad? What… I don't understand."_

"_Sammy, you know what you are and you know what must be done. You're one of them, you're supernatural and you need to die." _

_The sound of the Colt being cocked sent a wave of panic through Sam and he had no idea what to do. Sure he had known what his father thought about him, it was pretty obvious, but when the days had passed by and he was still allowed to live, he had taken it for granted that he was going to be allowed a reprieve of his father's motto. Suddenly everything stilled. The scene of his mother on the ceiling framed in flames with his father below her screaming in horror was frozen. His father stood stock still with the Colt still pointing at him, but no other movement could be seen. _

"_You know it's only a matter of time Sammy. He will kill you, if for no other reason than to prove to others that he can."_

_Sam turned and instantly knew that there would be an end to this, it was definitely a dream and he would wake from it – the question was when. "This is getting to be a habit, you waiting for me to get laid up so you can try to convince me to join you. You're pathetic! How about you do everyone a favor and go back to Hell where you belong."_

"_Sammy, I'm shocked! And here I am just showing you what dear John thinks of you, and you act like this." Azazel said while shaking his head. "I must say – I'm really disappointed. But, if you don't want to take my warning to heart, then there's nothing else I can do… except make you!"_

_No longer frozen, the image became animated again like a background while John fired his weapon and watched satisfactorily as the Colt's bullets found their mark in Sam's chest causing him to scream out in agonizing pain._

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John walked to the ICU door and paused. He had no idea how he was going to make this right, but he knew he couldn't stand around any longer pretending that Sammy didn't exist. Thinking about it, he really had to wonder just why he had even tried.

Pushing the door open he was happy to see Sam sleeping soundly. He knew that his boy had been through a lot, more than most men could deal with, and he had to admire the kid for making it through the way he had. Taking his gaze off Sam he looked into the wary hunters faces and shrugged.

"Yeah, ok… I've been an ass, so what else is new? How about we figure out what's going to happen next so that Sammy here doesn't have as big a mess to deal with when he's ready to leave."

Shocked, the others were about to express their disbelief when Sam bolted straight up and began screaming, causing everyone to rush to the bed in a panic.

Dean had been worried something like this would happen, but he had no idea what to do when he finally made out his little brother's words as he attempted to calm Sammy, just as Paul rushed in to help.

"NO! DAD… HE'LL KILL ME… COLT – OH MY GOD, HE'S GOT THE COLT! DEAN, DAD'S GOING TO KILL ME – HE SAID HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"


	25. Chapter 25

AN: I hope you all enjoy this chapter... sorry it's short.

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Paul had been at the nurses' station when he noticed that Sam's vital signs were changing. Worried that his patient was awake and getting himself worked up over being laid up, he was planning on waltzing in and getting his friend to calm down in a calm, leisurely manner. That was until he heard Sam's screams and actually began to make out what he was saying. Hearing his friend terrified was bad enough, but for him to think that Bobby was going to kill him was more than ridiculous and he had to wonder if a nurse had possibly given him too much pain medicine in his IV. Then he saw the horrified look on everyone's faces, including the dark haired stranger who looked like he was about to pass out, and the situation took a sickening twist that he hadn't wanted to contemplate, but couldn't ignore.

"Ok, everyone out!" he yelled as he rushed to Sam's side, trying hard to pry his fingers out of the brother's shirt. Seeing that no one was taking him seriously, he didn't hesitate. "Either you leave, or I'll have you all removed and not allowed back in – NOW!"

Dean didn't care what the doctor said; he wasn't leaving Sammy – not ever again. If this guy thought he was, then he'd better have the whole damn National Guard backing him up. Not that it mattered; little brother still hadn't untangled his fingers from his shirt and wasn't listening to anybody at the moment.

"Sammy… you need to calm down. They're gone little brother… dad's gone. You need to calm down. Breathe with me, ok?" Dean coaxed, finally noticing the terrified look was slowly dwindling from Sammy's eyes. Looking over at the doctor, he saw the concern and the suspicion in his face, and knew that he was either going to have to come up with something really good, or risk having the lot of them tossed on their ears. Then again, how could he do that without making his little brother sound like a lunatic?

Seeing that Sam was finally relaxing, Paul looked through the window and saw the concern on the other men's faces. Something wasn't adding up and he had a feeling that it had more to do with the two newcomers than he was comfortable with.

"What did I tell you about trouble? He doesn't need this kind of stress; it could set his condition back. Now either tell me what's going on so I can make an informed decision, or I'll call the Sheriff and have all of you locked up on suspicion." Paul demanded as he looked harshly at Dean. Sam obviously trusted this man, but then again, Sam was doped up at the moment.

Not liking being backed into a corner, Dean was about to give the doc a piece of his mind but a twitch in his hand pulled his gaze away and down to a very familiar pair of eyes. He was about to lay a snarky quip on the kid when he was interrupted.

"I want to go home Dean." Sam whispered. He had no idea what was really going on, but he knew he was in the hospital, he knew that his family was close by, and he knew that if he stayed there very much longer his coworkers were going to find out just exactly _how_ strange he really was. "_Please_ Dean… please."

Seeing just how vulnerable his brother was at that moment, he stepped fully into his role of Big Brother and looked at the doctor. "Well, you heard him… sign the papers so we can go – or we'll go and you can stick the papers up your…"

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The Sheriff's cruiser was quiet which set John on edge as it was, but the knowledge of what could be waiting for him when they got to their destination made him want to chew through the door. He still wasn't sure how Dean persuaded the doctor to sign Sam out AMA, but once that was done his eldest had calmly walked out of the room and faced off with everyone.

"_Ok, this is what's going to happen. Bobby, you and I are going to take Sammy back to that place he's calling home at the moment. Caleb… you, Joshua and Dad are going to wait until Dan gets here and picks you up, then you can follow – he'll know where we'll be. Right now he doesn't need to see you at all Dad, and honestly, I can't blame him." Dean said before he pulled out his cell phone._

Dean had talked to Sam's Sheriff friend and found out that not only would he be willing to pick the rest of them up, but had already made arrangements for Sam to start living at the ranch in the original farm house. Apparently, once word had gotten out about why the clinic really burned down and almost took their young doctor with it, the majority of the townspeople had gotten so fed up with Keith's idiocy that they decided to go straight to Brenda and find out exactly what had really been going on the last several years. With that accomplished, it didn't take long for volunteers headed to the ranch to put the house in livable condition.

"So, anyone going to tell me why Dr. Peterson is worried that one of you is planning on murdering Doc Sam?" Dan asked as he kept watch on the road. He was thankful that he hadn't been too busy today to do what Dean had asked, that didn't mean he wasn't going to assess the situation himself.

Caleb and Joshua looked at John before turning back to the Sheriff. "I doubt you'd believe us even if we told you." Caleb said as he watched the lawman carefully. He didn't know what he'd do if the man pressed them for answers, and he really didn't want to have to find out.

Dan pulled the cruiser over and turned the engine off before turning to the men in the backseat. "Look, I know that Bobby would kill anyone that would threaten Sam, and I'm pretty sure the two of you would also. I've already seen Dean in action, so yeah… he would too. You on the other hand are a mystery and you know what? I'm not that big a fan of mystery. So how about we clear the air right here and now - or we sit here… I'm really starting to feel the need for a nap."

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The farmhouse wasn't much to look at being a single story clapboard house. But with three good sized bedrooms, a large kitchen, separate living area and an added on dining room, it wasn't a bad setup especially for someone who had a whole lot less for quite a long time.

When Dean saw the inside of the house he couldn't help but admire the simple strength of the building. Everything had a place and purpose and was built to last as long as it was taken care of. Sighing, he felt the need to take another moment and truly appreciate what the elderly woman had really given his little brother. Not just a house or land, but a way to make his own decisions and be able to stick by them.

Hearing Bobby opening the back door of the Impala, Dean rushed out to give Sammy a hand. His brother had slept the whole way, barely making a sound, which would have worried him except for the knowledge that Sammy trusted him enough to let him know what he needed. Reaching the car, he slipped inside enough to rouse his brother and smile at the confused look on his face.

"Hey sleepyhead, how about we go inside and finish this party in style?" Dean joked as he helped Sammy out of the car. Seeing the confused look on Sam's face, he tried to paste an encouraging smile on. "Dan said that this was the best place for you right now, so here we are."

Sam nodded before shuffling forward while leaning heavily on Dean and Bobby. Things were still a bit hazy, but he wasn't in a rush to be informed on what was going on – he had a feeling he really didn't want to know just yet.

As they made their way inside, the hunters took extra care of their charge as they made their way down the hall and into the biggest bedroom. They were caught unawares however as Sam stopped suddenly. Not understanding what was wrong, they both were about to ask when they heard Sam's voice crack.

It really hadn't mattered what happened, really… it hadn't. But as soon as he stepped into the bedroom and he saw what was on the nightstand, the grief he'd been holding back rushed him in full force. A lone picture of him and Jessica at the beach sat in an antique oval frame.

"She's gone… everything of her, it's really gone." He whispered, not knowing how he could still breathe with his chest hurting as much as it was. He knew he wasn't making any sense, but everything that reminded him of Jess had been at the clinic – everything. This sole picture was his remaining link to her and he knew he had Ms. Millie once again to thank for it. She had asked for the picture one day saying that it reminded her of herself and her husband when they had just started out. Obviously she had felt the need to put it in one of her 'treasures' and that sentiment right there broke him.

Dean held his sobbing sibling as they sat on the floor, the weight of Sammy's sorrow finally too much for the younger man to bear. Bobby could only stand and watch as old wounds were torn open and new ones grew. He could only hope that this time, they would well and truly heal.


	26. Chapter 26

AN: I know it's been awhile, but here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it, don't forget to let me know, ok?

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Dan stared at the man sitting in the backseat waiting for whatever reasoning he or the others came up with to explain the events that brought them to this moment. He knew that Sam was a puzzle, and the only one close enough to figure him out was now dead, so facing these men was something he felt he needed to do if he was ever going to get the full story of Sam Singer.

"Look, you don't know me, and I get that. But you need to understand something; I'm not going to hurt Sam." John said while ignoring his friends and focusing solely on the sheriff. Seeing the other man's doubt, he nodded. "Ok, so I haven't been the best father in the world – to either of my boys and probably… no, definitely worse to Sammy, but you need to understand something; what I did, I did because I thought it was best for everyone involved."

Nodding, the sheriff looked at the others and saw just uncomfortable they were with this situation – sure they hid it well, but he could tell; something else was going on. "Ok, so tell me – why is Sam so sure you're going to kill him, and why should I even let you in the same county as him?"

John hated being put in this position, but he really needed to get to his boys. "Because if you don't, Sam's going to die and you could have stopped it."

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Dean watched his brother sleep while completely ignoring the coffee that Bobby had brought him. It had taken close to an hour to calm Sammy down enough to gently guide him to the bed and tuck him in like the little boy they all wished he still was. Thinking about how many years that had been wasted was hard, but something he needed to do to fully understand exactly what it was that they were dealing with.

Sammy had always been the one to look at the brighter side of everything, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that he was usually the one who got his heart broken more often as well. Now though, he was a man, who had made his own way in the world, but had paid a heavy price in order to do it. Sighing, he leaned back in the wooden chair and tried not to think about how things could have played out if they had just stuck together. No matter how many times he wanted to see a happy family that fought evil together and stood up for each other in the face of death and adversity, he knew it was just a fairytale that he'd allowed himself to hope for, for much too long. The truth of the matter was, Dad would have turned on Sammy as soon as he started to develop his powers, probably believing that his youngest son was turning evil, or was possessed, or hell… just doing it to spite him. So no… it had been just a matter of time before there were a parting of ways, but the timing and the fact that he had no say so in is what was haunting him at the moment.

"You know, your face'll freeze like that." Bobby said as he walked into the room. He wasn't surprised that Sam was still asleep; the kid had had a rough patch to get over. No, it was how suddenly the old Big Brother Dean was there, and it was more than a little unnerving.

Smirking, Dean sat his chair back down to all four legs on the floor and looked at the older man before cocking a halfhearted grin. "I really screwed this up, didn't I?"

Bobby wasn't going to pretend he didn't know what Dean was talking about; he liked the kid better than that. "Well, seems to me it's not too late to fix it."

Nodding, Dean looked back at his brother and knew that he was lucky, he did have another chance and this time he'd take better care of this opportunity – this time, he'd take better care of his brother.

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John sat and watched as the sheriff stared at him as if wondering if he were insane. 'Good,' he thought, 'maybe it'll keep him a little off balanced so I can think of a way to get us out of this mess, maybe even get Dean and Sammy on the road sooner than I thought.'

Dan narrowed his eyes before he looked at the other men in the car. He knew they were just as surprised as he was and wondered just how much truth he'd actually be able to get out of this man. Finally he motioned for the other three to follow him out of the car.

"Alright, spill it. Don't give me the crap version either. You three are supposed to be Sam's uncles and I have to tell you, after some of the things I've heard in town, you all are lucky I ever let you near him. Now either start explaining what's going on, or I pull your friend out of my cruiser and I leave all of you on the side of the road." Dan said, barely taking a breath before he finished his tirade. Something wasn't right, and he was determined to figure out if these men were in on it.

Jim nodded slightly before looking at the others. "We know you have tried your best to keep Sam safe, and we appreciate it. John, the man in the backseat, is Sam and Dean's father. I have to admit, there for awhile we haven't seen eye to eye with him, especially lately, but he's not one to tell you that Sam's in danger and not mean it. You know about Jess, Sam's girlfriend, and how he's never gotten over losing her. Well, the same goes with John and his Mary. Mary was killed in Sam's nursery when he was a baby. John spent years in search of the monster that did it, but along the way he forgot something important – how to be their dad. When Sam was sixteen, John got it in his head that some rumors he'd been hearing was true and instead of coming to us with it, abandoned Sam and took off with Dean. Now, years later, we think he's starting to realize what he's done and is ready to face the consequences. I can guess why Sam thinks that John is going to kill him, but I don't want to speculate. If John says that something's after his son, then I'm inclined to believe him. I do want you to know, that while we're here, there's no way we'll allow anything to happen to that boy."

Looking at each man, Dan wasn't sure what to believe. Finally though, he walked away and pulled his phone out of his pocket and searched for the last call that came in then pressed redial. It didn't take long for a quiet, tired voice to answer.

"So, I have a car full of guys insisting that they're here to help, and a guy who insists he's Sam's dad and that something horrible is about to happen – how do you want me to handle it?"

It took less than two minutes to finish the conversation and get back on the road. The car was quiet, giving each man a chance to think about what they knew about the situation at hand. As the Sheriff continued to drive, he wondered what possessed him to listen to a two bit hustler and a handful of misfits. The answer didn't surprise him when it came – Sam.

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Dean stood waiting on the porch for Dan to pull up to the house. He knew that something was going on, but he'd be damned if anyone was going to walk inside and start trouble. The call he received from Dan told him more than he really wanted to know – his dad was up to something, and that didn't sit well with him.

"So I figure we better get some things straight," he said before he walked down the steps to meet the men getting out of the cruiser. "First off, no one walks in there with a weapon of any type. Don't worry Dan, you can keep your gun, I'm not that much of a hardass. Second, anyone starts anything and I'll personally toss you on your ass; and yeah Dad, that means you too. Third, the only way anyone is staying here is if Sammy says so, and that doesn't mean guilting him into it either. So, any questions? No? Good!" he said quickly, ignoring the questions and protests being tossed his way, as he turned and made his way into the house, he'd left his little brother too long as it was.

"Dean! We need to talk son, now!" John yelled, hoping to get a few moments alone with Dean before he disappeared in the house where he'd undoubtedly stick to Sammy like glue. "Five minutes son, that's all I'm asking for."

Knowing that he was going to regret it, Dean turned around and walked back down the steps. When he reached his dad he impatiently waited for someone to say something. Finally having enough, he gritted out, "Clocks ticking."

John knew he couldn't talk freely with the others close by, especially Dan, so he pulled Dean further towards the back of the car. Feeling Dean pull away from him, he knew he needed to act fast if he had any chance of convincing his son of what needed to be done.

"Son, your brother's in trouble. I know I'm not his favorite person right now, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I don't want anything to happen to him." John said quickly, knowing that Dean's internal clock was counting down the time before he walked away and this time didn't turn back. Seeing Dean's incredulous look he lowered his voice even more. "I know you don't believe me, and that's fine, but you need to know that if I wanted to hurt him, even kill him, I could have already and there's nothing that you could have done about it."

"Great Dad, way to go to making me feel better about you being here." Dean said as he started to turn back to the house. He didn't care if his dad still had time on the clock, he wouldn't stand there and listen to his ramblings anymore. What he heard next though stopped him cold and it took everything he had to turn back around.

"I have the Colt!" John hissed harshly. He looked over to make sure no one else heard, but was satisfied when Dean turned around in shock. "I have the Colt and I was planning on using it if I thought that Sam was… affected by the demon." He knew he needed to hurry, because Dean's fish impression wasn't going to last too much longer. "You have to understand that the buzz with the demons is that your brother is supposed to be Azazel's second in command. I needed to make sure that it didn't happen; that your brother wasn't being influenced by the same demon that killed your mother. I have my answer Dean, and I believe you, all of you, that Sammy's still the same sweet kid. That's why we need to go. I want you to go inside, get whatever he needs and bring him out to the Impala. I figure if we go now maybe we can…"

"Wait…what!?! You barge in here, treat my little brother like crap, and now what… suddenly expect to pick up where you left off – dragging him everywhere? You _are _crazy!" Dean yelled as he shoved his dad back away from him. Disgusted by the sight of his once hero, he turned once again to the house, all the while hoping that Sammy was still sleeping and wasn't hearing any of this.

Not to be dissuaded, John rushed to Dean's side. "Damn it Dean, the demon's close and the only way we can protect Sammy is to get him away from here and someplace safe!"

Dan had been willing to let the argument between father and son continue as long as it didn't get too physical or somehow drag Sam into it, now though he heard something that he could only construe as mental instability and wasn't about to allow this man any closer to Sam than what he already was. In fact he knew the county judge would be more than willing to issue a restraining order against the man upon hearing that he thought demons were after his son.

"All right, that's enough." Dan yelled as he pushed his way in between the two Winchester men. "I don't know what the hell you two are really fighting about, but I know one thing right now – Sam's staying put until he's better, then he can make up his own mind."

John hated being told what to do, and especially if it had to do with one of his boys, today was no exception. "Look, you have no idea what you're dealing with. I'm Sam's father and…"

"If you think I'm in danger then take it up with my dads or my brother, otherwise I think you better leave." Sam said from the doorway with Bobby on one side and Joshua on the other. Seeing Dean's shock he could only shrug a shoulder before answering the unasked question. "You've always been my brother; it's just taken you awhile to see it."


	27. Chapter 27

AN: Ok, so we're almost to the end... the epilogue should be up soon, so please be patient. I really hope you all have liked this story though.

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Caleb and Jim flanked Dean to ensure that John didn't have any misunderstandings as to which Winchester they were choosing, or in this case – Singer. They too had felt closer to Sam the last several years and knew that although he felt the same way, didn't want to trust them in case they fell back into old patterns – siding with John Winchester.

While Dean was thankful for the show of support, he was more concerned with how pale his brother looked and quickly made his way to Sammy's side. He was pretty sure Dan would take care of anything that needed dealt with; well, whatever was left after Bobby had his way. As he reached the porch, both Bobby and Joshua began their way down the steps to help get John out of there. Not bothering to look back, he reached over and wrapped an arm around Sammy's waist and led him back into the house.

"You know, you're the doctor… the smart one. Don't you realize that sick people need rest, and lots of it?" He asked with a smirk, happy to see the famous Sammy eye roll in action once more.

Sam knew his brother was baiting him, but he couldn't help but respond. "So I'm sick now?" he asked quietly as they made their way to the bedroom.

"Oh yeah, definitely sick. In fact, I can't think of anyone else sicker in the head than you at the moment. I mean really… leaving the high life we led for staying in one place…" he tapered off as he formed a shiver to race through his body before continuing, "See? Gives me chills just thinking about it."

Quietly laughing, Sam knew that this was his brother's way of apologizing; not that he had anything to apologize for, but it was a nice gesture anyway. He allowed Dean to help him back to bed and wondered once again why he couldn't seem to pull himself out of whatever malaise he seemed to be in. Seeing his brother settle himself once again in the chair next to the bed, he decided it didn't matter. For now, things were as they should be, and for now he'd leave it like that.

"Go back to sleep Sammy, I'm here." Whispered Dean as he watched his little brother drift back into his dreams.

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He was late. That's what was running through his mind even though he had no real idea how he thought he was actually late for anything when in all actuality he never gave a timetable of when he was going to be back. Ok, so that's what the real problem was. The phone had rung in the middle of the night and instead of waking his little brother and explaining that Caleb had run into a little problem and needed some help, he had left thinking that he'd be back in a day maybe two at the latest and be able to explain everything once he got back. That was three weeks ago. It had never occurred to him that the reason why the house had been so damn quiet was because it didn't have a phone, and that Sammy's cell phone had been destroyed in the fire. No, it didn't occur to him until after he tried to get a call through when he realized that Caleb needed more than a few stitches to the leg and a few supplies from the Impala's trunk – the guy needed a helping hand to track down an extremely vicious Wendigo up in the Cascade's. That was three weeks ago and now the only thought running through his head was "I'm late. I'm late. I'm late." Like that damn Mad Hatter who kept insisting that he had a date. Now wasn't that a kick in the pants? If he was the Mad Hatter, what did that make Sammy? Nope, not going there.

It shouldn't have taken so long to drive straight through, but when the tire blew and he found the spare flat, he knew he needed to rethink a few things. He couldn't get hold of Sammy, Bobby and Jim was in New York State for God only knew why, he'd just left Caleb and Joshua was in New Orleans trying to talk a Voo Doo Priestess into reversing some curse that he had only just now found out about. It seemed like every time he thought of some way to get a message to his brother, there was something in his way. Finally though, as soon as he managed to pay the mechanic for the new tires and was on the road again, he had an idea and almost pulled over again to kick his own ass.

"_Hello? Dean? Where the hell have you been? You know, I should hunt your ass down for…"_

Dean knew he deserved it, he really did, but he needed to get a message to Sammy… as in yesterday! "Dan, I get it, really I do. In fact, you can kick my ass later, ok? Just get hold of Sammy and tell him I'm fine and on my way home. I'll explain everything once I get there."

The sigh at the other end clued Dean that something else was going on. It didn't take too long for the Sheriff to let him know just how badly he'd screwed up. "You'd better get here quick. Brenda can't talk any sense into him and… damn it! Look, that nutcase father of yours showed back up last week and got everyone in an uproar around here. Sam will only let me or Brenda inside the house and that's only if we promise to leave when he asks. Dean, you need to hurry, 'cause when I saw him yesterday, he looked like he was going to collapse."

Closing his eyes in agony at the words he just heard, he knew that all of this was his fault. His mind went back to the last time he'd seen his dad and wished that he'd have put the bullet in his brain right then. It had been almost a month after the confrontation at the farm house, and it didn't go well at all.

_The small café was close to empty and that would suit their purpose just fine. John sat on one side of the table while Dean sat on the other. Neither said a word for a few moments, allowing the waitress to pour them both some coffee before disappearing again into the kitchen. When the silence continued however, Dean was tempted to get up from the table, but was stopped when his dad finally spoke._

"_I'm going to leave town this morning, the state actually. Sam has his life here, I might not like it, but it's the way it is. There's an Abiku in Florida and I'd like you to come with me, help me keep others from getting killed." John said quietly before drinking his coffee, ignoring Dean's shocked look for a moment. "Look, I get that you're pissed at me – fine, but get over it! We have a job to do, and just because Sam can't see…"_

_Finding his voice, Dean leaned back in his seat and stared incredulously at the man across from him. "Can't see what Dad? That he helps people, saves their lives? Wasn't that your reasoning all these years, that we were saving people? "_

"_Damn it Dean, how long do you think it's going to take before all that blows up in his face? Do you really want all these people close by when that demon decides to come back and claim him? Can you really be that naive to think that everything's going to work out like some damn fairy tale?" John asked, letting his son know just how idiotic the whole idea sounded._

_Silence descended upon the table again with each man looking at the other intently. Finally, Dean spoke. _

"_You still think you're going to have to kill him, aren't you?" he asked as he pushed his coffee away. "You were hoping to drag him away from here so no one would interfere? Damn it Dad, you need to get a grip!" he said as he stood. "Leave Sammy alone. Don't call, don't write, don't show back up here or so help me GOD, I will end you."_

It had been hard telling his father that, but he meant every word of it. As soon as he made sure his little brother was okay, he was going to track John down and do what he should have done as soon as Sammy became terrified of the man – get rid of the threat.

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The sun was starting to set when Dean pulled up close to the farm house and noticed Dan was already there trying to gain admittance. The idea of a Sherriff letting something as simple as a door get in his way of going inside almost made him laugh – almost. Any levity that he might have seen in the situation immediately flew out the window as soon as he saw Dan's face. Something was wrong.

"What the hell, Dan?" Dean exclaimed as he got out of the Impala and met the other man halfway. "You said that he's in there… so, go in."

Dan shook his head sadly and grabbed Dean's arm to keep the man from barging up to the house. "Dean, there's something you should know and damn… I don't know how to tell you." He began. Seeing the horror on Dean's face he held up a hand. "Sam's ok, it's just… your dad showed up hell bent on dragging him out on the road with him. When Sam refused to go, he… Dean, your dad pulled an old relic of a gun – a Colt revolver, and said that he should have done it years ago, that he had really tried to do right by him, but it was time to finish what Sam had started the night your mom died. God Dean, Sam tried to reason with him, he really did, but nothing would get through to him, but nothing was getting through to him because the next words out of his mouth was something about how Sam knew what he really was and what needed to be done. That he was… supernatural and had to die."

"Son of a…" Dean growled as he ran his fist into the Impala's hood. "Tell me Sammy's ok… anything else I'll deal with myself, just please… tell me he's alright."

"Sam… he…" Dan paused a moment, trying to get his own emotions under control. "We were all at the café in town. The place was packed; I didn't have a clear shot. Sam though… I don't know how… Dean, Sam threw a steak knife and it pierced your dad's chest, but he was still alive… and pissed. He moved his arm and the colt was pointed at little Sandy Sullivan – you met her, little bitty thing all of three? Sam moved so damn quick I wasn't sure I actually saw what I saw, but… he moved in and before the gun went off, he snapped your dad's neck. God, I'll never forget that sound."

Dean's knees suddenly felt weak. He wasn't sure he was really hearing what he thought he was hearing. His little brother killed their dad… John? His brain couldn't seem to comprehend it and he barely tuned into what else Dan was saying.

"…still not able to get hold of Bobby. I was able to reach Joshua though, but he said it would take a bit to get here. I didn't understand half of what he was saying but it was something to do with whatever he was doing backfired and it was going to take a bit for it to… wear off."

Nodding, Dean understood exactly what had happened and had to agree with Joshua's assessment of the situation. Sometimes it was better to wait something out than explain to unbelievers about what happened. Taking a deep breath, he composed himself and clasped Dan's shoulder. "Ok… it's ok. I'm here and I'll take it from here." He said softly, wondering how the hell he was going to make this better. His little brother had made a life here and now the whole town had witnessed something that should have never happened in the first place. He could only imagine how uncomfortable this whole situation was making Sammy.

It didn't take long to get across the yard and up the stairs; even less time to determine that yes… the door was actually locked. That was bad, well and truly bad… if Sammy felt the need to actually lock the doors, he was definitely holed up and that might not bode well for him. Seeing that it was an old skeleton key lock, Dean shook his head and pulled out a couple of paper clips before working on the task of opening the door.

The house was quiet as he entered and he paused at the darkness. The only time he could remember that his brother would keep a light off was if he had a headache. Worried, he called out and was rewarded with a soft request.

"Please lock the door, the key is on the wall."

Not sure what to make of the situation, Dean did as requested before turning towards the living room. "Sammy?" he asked worriedly… not for himself, but for his little brother.

"You came back." Sam's voice floated softly in the dark as if he couldn't believe that Dean was actually there.

"Yeah, yeah Sammy… look, I'm really sorry about that. Caleb called and I wasn't…"

"I understand Dean. Really. I just want to let you know that I don't blame you, ok? Just please…make it quick, ok?"

Dean stood stunned, not to mention confused. When a lamp was turned on though, he began to get an idea of what was running through Sammy's brain and it was more horrendous than he could have thought at any other time, but now that he knew what happened a week ago, well… his brain couldn't comprehend it as much as he wanted it to.

"Sammy, what's going on?" he asked softly, wondering if he should unlock the door and get Dan in there to help out in… well, whatever this was. "Come on little brother, talk to me."

Sam shook his head. "I couldn't let him kill her Dean, even if it was accidently. I know you don't have any reason to believe me Dean, but I didn't want to do it… but he was going to…"

"Whoa, Sammy… it's ok… I know all about it and…"

"I know Dean. I get it, really, but like I said… can we just make this quick? I've already made arrangements that once it's done you and Bobby get everything I have. I talked to an attorney that I know, and he said under the circumstances if someone was in your position, it would be easy to claim undue stress and make sure you didn't get any time." Sam said quietly, not really looking at Dean anymore, but more towards the floor beyond him.

Letting out a breath that he hadn't even known he had been holding, Dean nodded and walked towards Sam, not daring to say anything until he was right in front of his brother. "Ok Sammy, you're right… we need to finish this." He said as he wrapped his brother in a tight hug, not allowing any movement until minutes later he felt Sam begin to relax in his arms.

Sam was glad that his brother was going to do this. Now he could finally be at peace. All last week he was sure that Dean would hear about what happened and would come back to finish their father's work, and now that it was happening, he could relax. It wasn't until he felt Dean's arms around him that he realized that something wasn't right, that this wasn't what supposed to happen. His brother was supposed to finish him, make sure he didn't turn evil… or more evil than he already was. He tried to fight the embrace, but every move made the circle grow tighter until he had no choice but succumb to it. Maybe this was a final good bye, a way for Dean to show that he still loved him even though he had to kill him.

"Never Sammy. I'm never going to kill you, never going to have a reason to. Dad came here looking for a fight, and you did what you had to, to keep innocent people from getting hurt. You're not evil little brother; never have been… never will be." Dean said in a firm whisper next to Sammy's ear. He meant every word of what he said, even as he was silently mourning the death of his father; not his father of late, but the man he used to be. The man who would smile every time he came home from work to his family. The man who loved them fiercely enough to do everything in his power to keep them all safe. Above all, the man who taught him above all else how to take care of Sammy.

Night settled over the farm house but neither brother noticed as they sat side by side on the couch in silence, giving strength and comfort to the other.

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AN: You know... I think I'm going to have to write a loving!John fic just so you guys don't think I hate him... think I'm up for the challenge?


	28. Chapter 28

AN: As promised, the epilogue. I wanted to let everyone know just how much I appreciate all of your support through my stories, and hope you all will continue to follow me to the next ones. Speaking of which... I took up a challenged tossed to me by none other than Sammygirl1963 and darksupernatural, so look for the first chapter tonight. :)

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The house was quiet as the night fell away into day, into morning, to almost noon. The brothers had talked quietly, each one unsure at first of how much to divulge, but knowing that what needed to be said needed to be done soon. Dean admitted that he had just assumed that things were back the way they had been; that Sam would know that he would be back as soon as he could. Sam admitted that while it hurt to believe that Dean had been upset over something and left, after what happened with their dad, he knew that one way or another his brother would be back. Neither kept track of the time, nor kept score of past hurts; both knew that there was no need to; both knew that with everything out in the open they could move on.

Dean stood and watched as his little brother brought the rest of his clothes from the dryer and started folding them neatly before putting them into his duffle. Somehow, Sammy had got it in his head that 'moving on' really meant… well… _moving on _– as in, down the road… to another town, state, country even. How things had gotten that messed up in his brother's mind, he hadn't a clue, but he would be damned if he was going to stand by and watch him make the biggest mistake of his life.

"Sammy, we talked about this. You don't have to go anywhere. Look, I'm sure that…"

"Sure that what, Dean? That they're going to want me around after what I did? God, I killed a man in front of the whole damn town –not just any man… my own father! How do you think they're feeling about it?" Sam exclaimed as he threw the shirt in his hand down before stalking off into the kitchen.

Knowing how quiet his little brother could get when he was lost in his own mind, Dean knew that the outburst was actually a good thing - but it still stung. Sure, the whole situation sucked, but _c'mon_, there had to be a way to convince the stubborn ass that no one thought any differently of him.

"I'm sorry Dean. I know you just want to help, but really… I have no idea what to do here. So… if you really want to help, then help me get this stuff to the car, ok?" Sam asked as he walked dejectedly into the room.

Looking around, Dean nodded quietly and began to pack the few things that had been salvaged from the clinic into a box. There wasn't much, just a few odds and ends that had somehow miraculously survived the inferno, but it was enough to remind him just how much his little brother had lost – was still losing. He looked at the bag of clothes that apparently a few people from town had pulled together and thought about how odd it was that if they cared that much to do that for his brother, where were they now?

As if in answer to Dean's question, a stab of light quickly flickered through the window before it disappeared, catching his eye. Looking questioningly at Sammy, he made his way to the window and looked out before breaking out into a wide grin.

"Hey Sammy, looks like company." He said before heading towards the door.

"No Dean… wait!" Sam exclaimed, but it was no use, Dean already had the door wide open allowing Brenda to lead the way of a long line of people inside, each one carrying a box, bag, or just arms full of items.

Brenda paused only for a moment and assessed Sam before quirking her eye at him. Not liking what she saw at all, she stepped to the side before yelling out. "Ok everyone, you know what to do!"

Before Sam could say anything, the farm house was full of people bringing in sacks and boxes of groceries, homemade canned goods, and kitchen ware. Soon they were followed by others walking in with sheets, blankets and towels already making their way to the bedrooms and bathroom. Several men had on their tool belts and were setting up a command station at the dining room table, discussing plans for the new addition to the property where the new clinic would be; making sure that it was close enough for Sam to walk back and forth, but far enough away for him and his brother to have some privacy. All the while Sam stood in shock and looked at everyone wondering what the hell was going on.

Seeing his brother's confusion, Dean walked over and patted him on the shoulder. "I don't know Sammy, but I don't think you're going anywhere."

Suddenly the bustling in the house stopped as if a switch had been flipped.

"Going? Going where?" Brenda called out as she forced her way through the mass of people that had the unfortunate timing of stopping in her path. "Just where the hell do you think you're going?" she asked as she stopped in front of Sam, hands on hip, looking up into his face, demanding an answer. "Well?"

Not knowing what to say, his only response was, "Uh…"

"Uh huh… that's what I thought you'd say. I've got news for you Sam Singer, you're family and your place is here with us. If you don't like it… well… too damn bad!" she said firmly, smiling smugly at the agreeing shouts coming throughout the house. As Brenda turned back to what she was doing, the others gave Sam an agreeing nod before returning to their work leaving Sam even more confused than ever.

"Sammy, sometimes you just need to turn off that huge brain of your and enjoy the moment." Dean said, nudging his brother softly. "Looks like you got a home little brother."

"We, Dean. _We_ have a home." Sam said, allowing a smile to form when he saw that his brother hadn't been planning on going anywhere without him. As he watched the others move around the house in intent on their designated chores, he was reminded just how lucky he was. Before, he had felt alone – abandoned. Now though, he saw something else; a family – ok, an odd mix of an extended family, but a real family none the less. Between Bobby, Caleb, Jim, Joshua and the people here now, he knew that together they could face anything or anyone, and that was something that neither brother was going to forget again.

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AN: Ok, my forte is not epilogues, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Take care!


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